Yeah, I lied. Last night I said I was finished with the Crazy Love book, but this morning I woke up still meditating on some of the stuff in the last chapter that I decided to share. These are a few of my favorite quotes with a wee bit of commentary from me. Then I really am done with this book. First person to ask gets to borrow it :)
"We often have "aha!" moments but don't act; in fact, we're famous for it in the church." I laughed out loud at this one. He so nailed me with this. I have tons of great intentions but somehow not so much follow through. It's not "getting it" until you are doing it!!!!
"Is this the most loving way to do life? Am I loving my neighbor and my God by living where I live, by driving what I drive, by talking how I talk? I urge you to consider and actually live as though each person you come into contact with is Christ." UMMM....ooops......I don't really see the people I come into contact with in this way. Even though scripture clearly teaches the principle that whatever we do for those in need we do for Christ.
"We say things like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through." I'm growing in this area....but I do still tend to want to have a plan B just in case God doesn't show up.
"Christians are like manure: spread them out and they help everything grow better, but keep them in on big pile and they stink horribly." OHHHH! HAAAAA! Do any names come to your mind??????? Are you growing stuff or stinking horribly? I didn't really like that thought!
"Most of us use, "I'm waiting for God to reveal His calling on my life" as a means of avoiding action. Did you hear God calling you to sit in front of the television yesterday? Or exercise this morning? We are quick to rationalize our entertainment and priorities yet are slow to commit to serving God." I'd never really thought about it this way before. I always thought waiting on God was - well- godly. But I could definitely be putting into more practice some of the explicit ministry commands in scripture. Such as loving my neighbor, caring for the poor, ministering to those in need, etc.
"Our view of the Holy Spirit is too small. The Holy Spirit is the one who changes the church, but we have to remember that the Holy Spirit lives in us. It is individual people living Spirit-filled lives that will change the church." We often pray for God to change churches. But the Holy Spirit lives in people. You and Me. We are the ones who have to be changed before the church will change. One believer at a time.
"The world needs Christians who won't tolerate the complacency of their own lives." Yeah...and it needs to begin with me.
I am excited about the changes ahead for the church. I am reading lots of authors who are advocating living scripture. Literally. These men are leading believers to practice genuine faith. I can't wait to see what God is going to do as we begin to seek Him in this way. When pew sitting is no longer enough for any of us. When we become hungry to change the world. When we are desperate for intimacy with Christ. When we love like Jesus commanded us to love. Hopefully the world will never be the same again. Praying that I will begin listening, obeying, and living Christ. Today.
Showing posts with label Chan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chan. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Crazy Love, the end
I know some of you were wondering if I would ever finish this book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I had great intentions of reading a couple of chapters a week and reviewing them in some sort of organized manner. But then life got really busy, and I didn't. This blog is long and rambles some, but hang in there. I'll close with my favorite quote from the book. Remember that yesterday I warned you that this was an uncomfortable chapter.
Until recently I thought I had a pretty decent grasp on what a Christian looks like, talks like, acts like, smells like....after all, I've been in church since 9 months before I was born. I've even been in the ministry my entire life. But gradually over the last five years as I read the Bible all the way through for the first time (yes, I'm slow...leave me alone), I began to see so many new things about following Christ. And then in the last year or so, God has just taken everything that I thought I knew, tossed it out, and pretty much started over again.
Crazy Love is one of the books that I've read this year that really challenged me about the reality of my faith. Is my faith something I proclaim or is it something that I live? Do I read the Bible for knowledge or do I read the Bible as an instruction manual? Do I really take God seriously when He gives instructions for life or do I think that some verses just don't really apply to me - especially living here in America? Are there verses that I've skimmed without even attempting to apply?
Chapter 8 - "profile of the obsessed" is the chapter that even if you do not plan to purchase the book, you should run by Lifeway, grab a copy and speed read this chapter and evaluate yourself. I was really uncomfortable with all this stuff. And prior to the read, I would've said that I was obsessed with God.
I was especially challenged about money and the poor. Jesus talked a whole lot about the poor and taking care of the poor and oppressed. He talked a whole lot about financial responsibility and good stewardship. Now, before I prayed this through, I thought I was in pretty good shape here. I tithe regularly - which money goes to the church - which in turn is funneled into appropriate people-helping channels. I even occasionally - a least a couple of times a year - do some special missions projects to help the poor. I gave up my dream home and downsized to an older home for financial reasons. I drive reasonable vehicles, and most of the time spend within my means. But then I prayed and kind of wish that I hadn't. I feel really convicted about how much of my budget I spend on me and how little I spend on others. I began to feel pretty convicted about how much stuff I own, and how much time it takes me to manage it all - time that could be better spent in ministry maybe? I feel pretty convicted about how often I swipe my credit card to buy things that I want but can't really afford. Then, I felt even more convicted about not having relationships with any genuinely poor people. NONE!!!!!
Luke 14:12-14, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers, or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." BOOM!!!! talk about conviction - IT HAS NEVER - EVER OCCURRED TO ME TO TAKE THIS VERSE LITERALLY!!!! So I began to contemplate who I could invite to such a dinner party and realized NOBODY - I Don't know anybody who really fits into this verse.
Like most Americans, I surround myself with people of comfortable means. People with good health. People who return favors and who love me in return. Good people. Nice people. And not that I should not spend time with any of these people - but something is wrong that I do not have any way of literally living out Jesus' commands about caring for the poor.
There was so much more in this chapter - stuff about service with a good attitude, humility in the face of various forms of pride, being consumed with safety at the expense of being used by God, and developing an intimate walk with Christ. Definitely worth taking 30 minutes and reading. Or just read the big print about characteristics of an obsessed person (10 minutes)!
Chapter 9 is a series of case studies about people who lived lives characterized by their Crazy Love for God. And the final chapter is simply a wrap-up of the entire book.
This book was not what I expected at all. I expected a warm fuzzy book about loving God and learning how to worship Him. Instead I feel like I just got the band-aid ripped off a large oozing wound. This was a painful read for me as I entered into it open and willing for God to change me. I feel a little overwhelmed by how far I have left to go and stunned by how far off the mark my Christian walk was for so very long. It's like getting lost in the woods at sundown and trying to find your way back to the highway.
Now, don't misunderstand me here. This was also one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I am excited about the journey that Crazy Love has inspired in my heart. A journey to find the Christianity that Jesus invented instead of the Christianity that I learned in the American Church. To sort through all the stuff that I "know" to see what is real and what needs to be left behind.
Here's a quote from chapter 8 that just absolutely sums this all up for me. Especially in light of heading out on a mission trip on Wednesday. "Jesus is asking you to love as you would want to be loved if it were your child who was blind from drinking contaminated water; to love the way you would want to be loved if you were the homeless woman sitting outside the cafe; to love as though it were your family living in the shack slapped together from cardboard and scrap metal."
Picturing that? Your child in desperate need? And how would you want somebody to love them. Praying for us all to learn to love like Jesus.
Until recently I thought I had a pretty decent grasp on what a Christian looks like, talks like, acts like, smells like....after all, I've been in church since 9 months before I was born. I've even been in the ministry my entire life. But gradually over the last five years as I read the Bible all the way through for the first time (yes, I'm slow...leave me alone), I began to see so many new things about following Christ. And then in the last year or so, God has just taken everything that I thought I knew, tossed it out, and pretty much started over again.
Crazy Love is one of the books that I've read this year that really challenged me about the reality of my faith. Is my faith something I proclaim or is it something that I live? Do I read the Bible for knowledge or do I read the Bible as an instruction manual? Do I really take God seriously when He gives instructions for life or do I think that some verses just don't really apply to me - especially living here in America? Are there verses that I've skimmed without even attempting to apply?
Chapter 8 - "profile of the obsessed" is the chapter that even if you do not plan to purchase the book, you should run by Lifeway, grab a copy and speed read this chapter and evaluate yourself. I was really uncomfortable with all this stuff. And prior to the read, I would've said that I was obsessed with God.
I was especially challenged about money and the poor. Jesus talked a whole lot about the poor and taking care of the poor and oppressed. He talked a whole lot about financial responsibility and good stewardship. Now, before I prayed this through, I thought I was in pretty good shape here. I tithe regularly - which money goes to the church - which in turn is funneled into appropriate people-helping channels. I even occasionally - a least a couple of times a year - do some special missions projects to help the poor. I gave up my dream home and downsized to an older home for financial reasons. I drive reasonable vehicles, and most of the time spend within my means. But then I prayed and kind of wish that I hadn't. I feel really convicted about how much of my budget I spend on me and how little I spend on others. I began to feel pretty convicted about how much stuff I own, and how much time it takes me to manage it all - time that could be better spent in ministry maybe? I feel pretty convicted about how often I swipe my credit card to buy things that I want but can't really afford. Then, I felt even more convicted about not having relationships with any genuinely poor people. NONE!!!!!
Luke 14:12-14, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers, or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." BOOM!!!! talk about conviction - IT HAS NEVER - EVER OCCURRED TO ME TO TAKE THIS VERSE LITERALLY!!!! So I began to contemplate who I could invite to such a dinner party and realized NOBODY - I Don't know anybody who really fits into this verse.
Like most Americans, I surround myself with people of comfortable means. People with good health. People who return favors and who love me in return. Good people. Nice people. And not that I should not spend time with any of these people - but something is wrong that I do not have any way of literally living out Jesus' commands about caring for the poor.
There was so much more in this chapter - stuff about service with a good attitude, humility in the face of various forms of pride, being consumed with safety at the expense of being used by God, and developing an intimate walk with Christ. Definitely worth taking 30 minutes and reading. Or just read the big print about characteristics of an obsessed person (10 minutes)!
Chapter 9 is a series of case studies about people who lived lives characterized by their Crazy Love for God. And the final chapter is simply a wrap-up of the entire book.
This book was not what I expected at all. I expected a warm fuzzy book about loving God and learning how to worship Him. Instead I feel like I just got the band-aid ripped off a large oozing wound. This was a painful read for me as I entered into it open and willing for God to change me. I feel a little overwhelmed by how far I have left to go and stunned by how far off the mark my Christian walk was for so very long. It's like getting lost in the woods at sundown and trying to find your way back to the highway.
Now, don't misunderstand me here. This was also one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I am excited about the journey that Crazy Love has inspired in my heart. A journey to find the Christianity that Jesus invented instead of the Christianity that I learned in the American Church. To sort through all the stuff that I "know" to see what is real and what needs to be left behind.
Here's a quote from chapter 8 that just absolutely sums this all up for me. Especially in light of heading out on a mission trip on Wednesday. "Jesus is asking you to love as you would want to be loved if it were your child who was blind from drinking contaminated water; to love the way you would want to be loved if you were the homeless woman sitting outside the cafe; to love as though it were your family living in the shack slapped together from cardboard and scrap metal."
Picturing that? Your child in desperate need? And how would you want somebody to love them. Praying for us all to learn to love like Jesus.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Crazy Love, chapter 7
Thought I'd forgotten my book study? Just temporarily sidetracked by life. Chapter 7, "Your best life...later", reminded me a lot of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. In this chapter of Crazy Love, Chan reminds us to not be owned by fear, but to pursue God with abandon.
He makes the challenge to take scripture literally about caring for the poor and needy. Who do you know that takes Luke 12:33 literally? "Sell your possessions and give to the poor." Instead we continually seek more stuff. Including me. As far as Americans go, I am not such a stuff chaser. But when you compare me on a global scale, I am pretty sure that someday when I stand before Christ, He will have some suggestions about how I could have better used my material resources for kingdom purposes. Honestly, I rarely consider other options for how to use my resources. I just try to stay ahead of the bills.
Chan made an interesting point on p.120. What if that fateful day when Jesus sent the disciples hunting food for the crowd they had kept the loaves and fish for themselves. You probably could have fed 12 guys with that food. They could have split the loaves up and each had a few bites of fish. They would have been decently satisfied till they got home. But they never would have seen God's famous miracle and fed thousands of people. What if that is me? What if I perceive my resources as just enough for me and my family, but God wants to use them to do some pretty amazing stuff?
Scripture talks a lot about caring for the needy....am I so cynical that I have stopped trying? How can I be more obedient with my stuff?
Just some thoughts that I'm chasing around in my head.
He makes the challenge to take scripture literally about caring for the poor and needy. Who do you know that takes Luke 12:33 literally? "Sell your possessions and give to the poor." Instead we continually seek more stuff. Including me. As far as Americans go, I am not such a stuff chaser. But when you compare me on a global scale, I am pretty sure that someday when I stand before Christ, He will have some suggestions about how I could have better used my material resources for kingdom purposes. Honestly, I rarely consider other options for how to use my resources. I just try to stay ahead of the bills.
Chan made an interesting point on p.120. What if that fateful day when Jesus sent the disciples hunting food for the crowd they had kept the loaves and fish for themselves. You probably could have fed 12 guys with that food. They could have split the loaves up and each had a few bites of fish. They would have been decently satisfied till they got home. But they never would have seen God's famous miracle and fed thousands of people. What if that is me? What if I perceive my resources as just enough for me and my family, but God wants to use them to do some pretty amazing stuff?
Scripture talks a lot about caring for the needy....am I so cynical that I have stopped trying? How can I be more obedient with my stuff?
Just some thoughts that I'm chasing around in my head.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Crazy Love, chapter 6
This chapter hurt a little less than the two previous chapters. This one was titled, "When you're in love." Chan discussed being desperately in love with God, and what that looks like.
Ps. 63:1-5, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."
I loved this verse. It was such a perfect description of what love looks like. The answer to an intimate relationship with Christ is not trying harder to do more, but in being absolutely surrendered to a Holy God. Sometimes I think that all the stuff we try to do just gets in the way of an intimate walk with Christ. Kind of like laundry and cleaning house tend to diminish the romance in a marriage. These are things that are necessary and good, they just need to be given the right level of importance.
I had an aha moment on page 104. Chan says, "In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin. When you are pursuing love, running toward Christ, you do not have opportunity to wonder, 'Am I doing this right? or Did I serve enough this week?' When you are running toward Christ, you are freed up to serve, love, and give thanks without guilt, worry, or fear."
Here's my deep thought of the day. As Christians I think a lot of us have the running idea down. But the problem is that many of us are like the girl in the horror movie running away from the monster. We are running from our past sins, mistakes, and burdens. We are consumed with doubt and fear and when we turn around to check on the monster, we fall flat down - back into the sin that so easily entangles us. Instead, I think we should be running like long lost lovers who spot their lover from afar and run desperately to enjoy an embrace in his arms. One type of running is burdensome and exhausting, one is freeing and exciting. How are you running?
Ps. 63:1-5, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."
I loved this verse. It was such a perfect description of what love looks like. The answer to an intimate relationship with Christ is not trying harder to do more, but in being absolutely surrendered to a Holy God. Sometimes I think that all the stuff we try to do just gets in the way of an intimate walk with Christ. Kind of like laundry and cleaning house tend to diminish the romance in a marriage. These are things that are necessary and good, they just need to be given the right level of importance.
I had an aha moment on page 104. Chan says, "In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin. When you are pursuing love, running toward Christ, you do not have opportunity to wonder, 'Am I doing this right? or Did I serve enough this week?' When you are running toward Christ, you are freed up to serve, love, and give thanks without guilt, worry, or fear."
Here's my deep thought of the day. As Christians I think a lot of us have the running idea down. But the problem is that many of us are like the girl in the horror movie running away from the monster. We are running from our past sins, mistakes, and burdens. We are consumed with doubt and fear and when we turn around to check on the monster, we fall flat down - back into the sin that so easily entangles us. Instead, I think we should be running like long lost lovers who spot their lover from afar and run desperately to enjoy an embrace in his arms. One type of running is burdensome and exhausting, one is freeing and exciting. How are you running?
Monday, November 10, 2008
Crazy Love, chapter 5
This chapter was just not nice. God was all in my business. I've had a pretty rough day anyway and then for God to be all convicting and stuff just wasn't very nice. Tonight I would have liked to have heard, "good job....you're awesome...." But no.....The chapter is titled, "Serving leftovers to a Holy God." I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll just type out the entire chapter and let you evaluate your life for yourself. Just kidding, but it might be faster and less painful than outing my own self.
Here's just a little bit of the stuff in this chapter that made me say, "ouch!"
*is my concern more about going to heaven than loving the king?
*I felt no shame with my offerings to God because I took my eyes off scripture and compared myself to others around me.
*Am I giving God a bone with a few scraps? Fetch, God!
*no worship is better than apathetic worship. Malachi 1
*Sacrificing "something" instead of "everything" is evil. Malachi 1
*It's not what you advertise that counts, it's what you really are.
*God measures our lives by how we love.
*pursuing Christ means swimming upstream. If you are not swimming, you are floating downstream. Or use the analogy of going up the downward escalator. Run fast!!!! If not, then you are going down.
*Are you really willing to leave it all behind when Jesus says "Follow me," with no explanations attached?
*God is not someone who can be tacked onto our lives.
*Don't assume you are good soil. Really examine your heart.
Here's my life evaluation....just right out here in the open for all of you to see.... as honest as I can be without more intimate personal details than you care to know. I have certainly made great strides in my faith since accepting Christ about 15 years ago. However, I have a really long way left to go. I confess with great shame that I am really struggling with wanting some good explanations about what God has planned for my future. I know that there's a big course change ahead for me, but I'm pretty clueless about what that is and what I need to do next to make it happen. And feeling pretty dang (edited for you, honey) angry about God's silence and lack of detailed explanations - just about me. He has plenty to say about other people. Frustrated....upset.....crying....yelling....you get the idea. That's also probably more than you wanted to know about me.
I'm also having a hard time with wanting what I want and wanting to have God, too. It doesn't even take a close examination of my heart to know that my wants are not yet closely aligned with God's wants. Trust me when I say that I cannot have both. Sin and God do not go together. This is me not giving you details.
Yes, I evaluate my Christian walk against the people around me more than I lay it up against scripture. I am totally guilty of sacrificing some things to God while not giving him everything. Right now, I'm having a really hard time laying down my whole life and trusting God to do the right thing with it.
Don't misunderstand me here. I know that perfection is not attainable on Earth. I know that God just asks me to continue moving forward. I seriously believe that most days I make an attempt in a Godward direction. I am not one of those people who thinks that they are worthless worms in Christ. I know that I am His beautiful masterpiece. However, I am saying that this chapter absolutely knocked any arrogance out of me when I honestly looked at myself long and hard. I know that seeing where I am struggling is a huge part of the battle towards becoming who God has designed me to be. I'm just saying as honestly as I can that I'm struggling. Today more than most. Don't believe the facade that I have it all figured out or even have a good idea about what I'm doing. Mostly right now, I'm just confused. And for me, confused equals frustrated.
Oh - and pray for my gradebook to turn up. It has disappeared and I have to turn in grades on Friday. This is a critical emergency. I don't think I can accurately falsify enough grades if I don't find it.
Here's just a little bit of the stuff in this chapter that made me say, "ouch!"
*is my concern more about going to heaven than loving the king?
*I felt no shame with my offerings to God because I took my eyes off scripture and compared myself to others around me.
*Am I giving God a bone with a few scraps? Fetch, God!
*no worship is better than apathetic worship. Malachi 1
*Sacrificing "something" instead of "everything" is evil. Malachi 1
*It's not what you advertise that counts, it's what you really are.
*God measures our lives by how we love.
*pursuing Christ means swimming upstream. If you are not swimming, you are floating downstream. Or use the analogy of going up the downward escalator. Run fast!!!! If not, then you are going down.
*Are you really willing to leave it all behind when Jesus says "Follow me," with no explanations attached?
*God is not someone who can be tacked onto our lives.
*Don't assume you are good soil. Really examine your heart.
Here's my life evaluation....just right out here in the open for all of you to see.... as honest as I can be without more intimate personal details than you care to know. I have certainly made great strides in my faith since accepting Christ about 15 years ago. However, I have a really long way left to go. I confess with great shame that I am really struggling with wanting some good explanations about what God has planned for my future. I know that there's a big course change ahead for me, but I'm pretty clueless about what that is and what I need to do next to make it happen. And feeling pretty dang (edited for you, honey) angry about God's silence and lack of detailed explanations - just about me. He has plenty to say about other people. Frustrated....upset.....crying....yelling....you get the idea. That's also probably more than you wanted to know about me.
I'm also having a hard time with wanting what I want and wanting to have God, too. It doesn't even take a close examination of my heart to know that my wants are not yet closely aligned with God's wants. Trust me when I say that I cannot have both. Sin and God do not go together. This is me not giving you details.
Yes, I evaluate my Christian walk against the people around me more than I lay it up against scripture. I am totally guilty of sacrificing some things to God while not giving him everything. Right now, I'm having a really hard time laying down my whole life and trusting God to do the right thing with it.
Don't misunderstand me here. I know that perfection is not attainable on Earth. I know that God just asks me to continue moving forward. I seriously believe that most days I make an attempt in a Godward direction. I am not one of those people who thinks that they are worthless worms in Christ. I know that I am His beautiful masterpiece. However, I am saying that this chapter absolutely knocked any arrogance out of me when I honestly looked at myself long and hard. I know that seeing where I am struggling is a huge part of the battle towards becoming who God has designed me to be. I'm just saying as honestly as I can that I'm struggling. Today more than most. Don't believe the facade that I have it all figured out or even have a good idea about what I'm doing. Mostly right now, I'm just confused. And for me, confused equals frustrated.
Oh - and pray for my gradebook to turn up. It has disappeared and I have to turn in grades on Friday. This is a critical emergency. I don't think I can accurately falsify enough grades if I don't find it.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Crazy Love, chapter 4
Starting with a big disclaimer. I feel like crap, so if what I say does not make sense, that would explain why.
I am currently reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. Several years ago, I heard him speak at a worship event and was enthralled by his authenticity and his passion for worship. I did not know what to expect from his book, but I am pleased to say that I am surprised, delighted, and convicted by his insights into God and worship.
For me, chapter 4 was really convicting. Chan talked about the hallmarks of a lukewarm believer. Although I would say that I have made great strides forward toward loving God with a consuming passion, there are still many areas that I would rank as lukewarm. Chan's statement that, "God is not interested in people who fake it" was especially convicting to me. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be authentic and live out a very real faith that later I look back and go, "oops, that was fake."
Then there's this statement, "Are you satisfied with being 'godly enough'"? I think that lots of times I am. I am satisfied with "godly enough". I try hard to live a good life and be faithful and that should be good enough. But God does not call us to the "good enough" life. He calls us to surrendered lives.
There were pages of examples of painfully familiar characteristics of a lukewarm believer. Way too many to list here. Some areas I felt good about, but some....well.....Let's just say that I guess I've still got lots of growing left to do. If you want the specifics, you'll have to sneak a peek in my book at my notes. There's a limit to how much I want to out myself online.
I did agree with Chan on the goals of the American Church, "I quickly found that the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity. The goals of American Christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously is rarely considered. Most of us want a balanced life that we can control, that is safe, and that does not involve suffering." I want more than a nice life....I want the big adventure, the amazing, the incredible, the beautiful....I want God....even if it's a little bit scary to lose control.
I am currently reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. Several years ago, I heard him speak at a worship event and was enthralled by his authenticity and his passion for worship. I did not know what to expect from his book, but I am pleased to say that I am surprised, delighted, and convicted by his insights into God and worship.
For me, chapter 4 was really convicting. Chan talked about the hallmarks of a lukewarm believer. Although I would say that I have made great strides forward toward loving God with a consuming passion, there are still many areas that I would rank as lukewarm. Chan's statement that, "God is not interested in people who fake it" was especially convicting to me. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be authentic and live out a very real faith that later I look back and go, "oops, that was fake."
Then there's this statement, "Are you satisfied with being 'godly enough'"? I think that lots of times I am. I am satisfied with "godly enough". I try hard to live a good life and be faithful and that should be good enough. But God does not call us to the "good enough" life. He calls us to surrendered lives.
There were pages of examples of painfully familiar characteristics of a lukewarm believer. Way too many to list here. Some areas I felt good about, but some....well.....Let's just say that I guess I've still got lots of growing left to do. If you want the specifics, you'll have to sneak a peek in my book at my notes. There's a limit to how much I want to out myself online.
I did agree with Chan on the goals of the American Church, "I quickly found that the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity. The goals of American Christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously is rarely considered. Most of us want a balanced life that we can control, that is safe, and that does not involve suffering." I want more than a nice life....I want the big adventure, the amazing, the incredible, the beautiful....I want God....even if it's a little bit scary to lose control.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Crazy Love, chapter 3
OH WOW! I wrote between the lines and in the margins and folded pages over.....how am I going to condense it for a single blog? If you're just joining me, I'm sharing my random thoughts about Crazy Love by Francis Chan. An absolutely incredible book about worship!
God really spoke to me in this chapter about a couple things that I'll try to share with you. If you want to know what else God said, you'll have to sneak a peak in my book.
1. (p. 55) Loving God with abandon. When Abby came home from Memaw's after a week, she ran to meet me. Yelling exuberantly and reaching up her arms for me to swing her around. Just because she loves me. That's how God wants us to love him. Abandoned, shamelessly, whole-heartedly, absolutely, no holding back, - love Him. And he loves us back. I am by nature reserved and private and guarded. I have a long ways to go on abandoned love. ----- Then, I got to thinking about how much I missed Abby while she was away and how glad I was when she got home. Do you think God feels that way about us while we are on Earth and is looking forward to us coming home? I've never thought about death like that before. Much less scary and intimidating.
2. God's view of my own attempts at righteousness. (p.60) So, um....boys.....this is an incredible insight that made me understand Is. 64.6 in a whole new light.....but it is probably going to make you exceptionally uncomfortable to read...so I am apologizing in advance but am going to encourage you to read it to the end. Ladies....well, maybe this will enlighten you like it did me. Is. 64.6, "All our righteous acts are like filthy rags." You know the routine - we avoid confessing sin thinking that our good deeds will outweigh our bad deeds. But God makes it clear that our good deeds performed in our own strength for our own glory cannot buy forgiveness from our sins. He says they are "filthy rags." Chan says that a literal interpretation of this verse is, "menstrual garments." Think "used tampons". Now....how could we ever hope to purchase forgiveness with used tampons? As I contemplated this image of approaching God with my hands full of used tampons asking him to take away my sin, I actually had to fight the urge to vomit. I think that maybe for the first time ever in my life, I really understood just exactly how God views my false righteousness. Honestly, can you think of anything more disgusting, more preposterous, more insane than trying to purchase forgiveness with used tampons? So why would I ever brag about my own righteousness ever again? Totally new meaning to that verse for me. Understand filthy in a whole new light, huh?
3. God considers us his inheritance (p.61). A God of unfathomable wealth and power and prestige wanted me for his inheritance. I can't grasp that. Choosing between me and a million bucks? Not sure which one I would honestly choose. But for God, there was no question. That's Love.
God really spoke to me in this chapter about a couple things that I'll try to share with you. If you want to know what else God said, you'll have to sneak a peak in my book.
1. (p. 55) Loving God with abandon. When Abby came home from Memaw's after a week, she ran to meet me. Yelling exuberantly and reaching up her arms for me to swing her around. Just because she loves me. That's how God wants us to love him. Abandoned, shamelessly, whole-heartedly, absolutely, no holding back, - love Him. And he loves us back. I am by nature reserved and private and guarded. I have a long ways to go on abandoned love. ----- Then, I got to thinking about how much I missed Abby while she was away and how glad I was when she got home. Do you think God feels that way about us while we are on Earth and is looking forward to us coming home? I've never thought about death like that before. Much less scary and intimidating.
2. God's view of my own attempts at righteousness. (p.60) So, um....boys.....this is an incredible insight that made me understand Is. 64.6 in a whole new light.....but it is probably going to make you exceptionally uncomfortable to read...so I am apologizing in advance but am going to encourage you to read it to the end. Ladies....well, maybe this will enlighten you like it did me. Is. 64.6, "All our righteous acts are like filthy rags." You know the routine - we avoid confessing sin thinking that our good deeds will outweigh our bad deeds. But God makes it clear that our good deeds performed in our own strength for our own glory cannot buy forgiveness from our sins. He says they are "filthy rags." Chan says that a literal interpretation of this verse is, "menstrual garments." Think "used tampons". Now....how could we ever hope to purchase forgiveness with used tampons? As I contemplated this image of approaching God with my hands full of used tampons asking him to take away my sin, I actually had to fight the urge to vomit. I think that maybe for the first time ever in my life, I really understood just exactly how God views my false righteousness. Honestly, can you think of anything more disgusting, more preposterous, more insane than trying to purchase forgiveness with used tampons? So why would I ever brag about my own righteousness ever again? Totally new meaning to that verse for me. Understand filthy in a whole new light, huh?
3. God considers us his inheritance (p.61). A God of unfathomable wealth and power and prestige wanted me for his inheritance. I can't grasp that. Choosing between me and a million bucks? Not sure which one I would honestly choose. But for God, there was no question. That's Love.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
crazy love, chapter 2
I wasn't as excited about chapter 2 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Could be because it was an entire chapter dealing with death and living our lives with purpose due to the knowledge that we are but a vapor. I really kind of prefer to not dwell on my mortality too much.
funniest statement: "I resisted because I'm stubborn and that's who I am." not like I can identify with that or anything. :)
most convicting statement: Worry implies that we don't quite trust God to be big enough. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to excuse our behavior towards others. "Worry and stress reek of arrogance." Oh..... That really caught me off guard. I wasn't sure that I agreed at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that both of those things result when I am trying to be in control and be my own God. My problem....I can often avoid acting on my emotions, but I don't know how to control the feeling of stress that is such a miserable emotion. I had never thought about throwing it into the same category as worry and to link both with arrogance makes me just really embarrassed and pretty sure that I have some major sin confessing to do. I seem to always be stressed about life, my job especially.
Most uplifting thought: "The point of your life is to point to Him. Whatever you are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His."
funniest statement: "I resisted because I'm stubborn and that's who I am." not like I can identify with that or anything. :)
most convicting statement: Worry implies that we don't quite trust God to be big enough. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to excuse our behavior towards others. "Worry and stress reek of arrogance." Oh..... That really caught me off guard. I wasn't sure that I agreed at first, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that both of those things result when I am trying to be in control and be my own God. My problem....I can often avoid acting on my emotions, but I don't know how to control the feeling of stress that is such a miserable emotion. I had never thought about throwing it into the same category as worry and to link both with arrogance makes me just really embarrassed and pretty sure that I have some major sin confessing to do. I seem to always be stressed about life, my job especially.
Most uplifting thought: "The point of your life is to point to Him. Whatever you are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His."
Monday, October 20, 2008
Crazy Love
No, it's not a blog about my amazing marriage, but about a new worship book, "Crazy Love, overwhelmed by a relentless God", that I picked up the other night by Francis Chan. I am forcing myself to read slowly, a section at a time, so that I can contemplate and absorb what I'm reading. I'm one of those people that picks up a book, reads until it's over, looks up and realizes 12 hours passed by unnoticed. Very similar to sitting down to practice at the piano and time stands still until my children literally yell loud enough to get me to come back to earth.
Oh, wait, I got off track. The book. That's what this was about. I picked it up tonight, read the first sentence of the preface and went off to hunt my pen. I think my notes have taken over the book. Lots of stuff absolutely reaffirmed what God has been saying to me lately. Stuff about Christianity focusing on the narrow aspect of avoiding sin instead of God-pursuit, about surrender, about relying on technology instead of community, the show thing, and God's creative personality. It's like God was saying...."You are not alone in your quest for me. Be patient. I will be found. I will satisfy your hunger." Chan writes eloquently, with passion and wisdom. I am excited about reading this book. I'll let you know how it goes. And I will try to go slow. If you are reading along, I'm on page 30.
Life Blurbs:
*I made supper tonight...totally bribed my children...."I made brownies for anybody who doesn't complain about my cooking." What do you know, no complaints! I did forget that I had hidden dirty dishes in the oven until I smelled plastic burning when I was preheating the oven. No permanent damage done, just a funky smell in the kitchen.
*Testing students again this week. Exhausted, but pleased with their progress.
*One of my teammates dried her Tshirt. It is now Abby sized. Very funny drama about these shirts.
Oh, wait, I got off track. The book. That's what this was about. I picked it up tonight, read the first sentence of the preface and went off to hunt my pen. I think my notes have taken over the book. Lots of stuff absolutely reaffirmed what God has been saying to me lately. Stuff about Christianity focusing on the narrow aspect of avoiding sin instead of God-pursuit, about surrender, about relying on technology instead of community, the show thing, and God's creative personality. It's like God was saying...."You are not alone in your quest for me. Be patient. I will be found. I will satisfy your hunger." Chan writes eloquently, with passion and wisdom. I am excited about reading this book. I'll let you know how it goes. And I will try to go slow. If you are reading along, I'm on page 30.
Life Blurbs:
*I made supper tonight...totally bribed my children...."I made brownies for anybody who doesn't complain about my cooking." What do you know, no complaints! I did forget that I had hidden dirty dishes in the oven until I smelled plastic burning when I was preheating the oven. No permanent damage done, just a funky smell in the kitchen.
*Testing students again this week. Exhausted, but pleased with their progress.
*One of my teammates dried her Tshirt. It is now Abby sized. Very funny drama about these shirts.
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