Navigating the preteen minefield

faOkay, I admit it. I am absolutely clueless about parenting teens. I am totally making it up as I go. I just keep trying random stuff hoping somehow the kids turn out all right and I survive as well.

Tonight I had the brilliant idea to take Grace out alone. This was genius. I've done it before, but it's been probably a couple of years since we did anything big together, alone. We ate at Chick-fil-a. (Her choice) I got caught up on school, her friends, some deeper issues, etc.

Then we went to see Twilight. She's now reading the books for the third time. Huge fan. I was interested to see how she would rate the movie since she is the target audience for the film. I was a little nervous since this is one of her first exposures to a pretty intense love story (Shawn calls it girl porn) :) I didn't want her to just get swept away by the romance of it all. She definitely liked the movie, but evaluated it well, too. I was really impressed with her take on the movie. She discussed the acting and directing and details that showed that she watched the movie critically and carefully evaluated what she was taking in.

I know that we have some tough days ahead as we figure out preteen hood together. I'm just having to learn as I go. But for tonight, I think I probably scored an A. Just listening, loving, and hanging out without judging or nagging or fussing. She came away feeling special, and I came away understanding her just a little bit better.

Looking forward to the rest of a busy weekend....dress shopping with a buddy in the morning for the Anna chamber of commerce banquet; band practice in the afternoon, then best of all, church on Sunday! Love weekends!

Time runs in fast forward

I'm not sure how it happened, but tonight I finished shopping for my daughter Grace's school clothes - in the teen department. I still remember when she called hiccups, "teacups", and wore her hair in a fountain on top of her head. Suddenly I am the mother of a pre-teen with all that goes with it. The emotions, body changes, and acne. I am not ready for this. In fact, I am terrified. I made a lot of really bad choices as a teenager. I am praying hard that she will have much more wisdom than I did.

I am so proud of how she has leaped into her new school situation and embraced the changes. She was very angry just a week ago about the move, but now is loving it. She has made friends and God has blessed her with excellent teachers that love her already. I am trying hard to be as relaxed as I can with her and turn over more of the decision making about her life to her. It was hard while shopping to let go and say - whatever - as long as it is modest. I want her rapid body changes to be as positive an experience as possible and part of that is her having the clothes to wear that make her feel confident.

When she was a toddler, I thought that time would never pass, but now that she is big, I wish that I could slow it down. Tonight she ordered a salad from the grown-up menu at panera! When did she out grow the kids' menu?

Pray for me to have great wisdom and patience in parenting a pre-teen. I want to guide her through the teen years to exit out on the other side confident and ready to face the world. It is hard for me to relax and let go of my baby girl.