Thoughts from the kiddie pool

Warning: Blog contains questionable content and/or language. Please read cautiously :)

Today the family was hangin' out at Schlitterbahn down in New Braunfels. Now, I am not a fan of water parks (see yesterday's blog about my phobia), however, I was impressed by this one. It was family friendly, and very different from other water parks I've been to. I spent all day in the kiddie pool with Abby while Shawn took the big kids on the scary slides and stuff. The kiddie pool is a great place to people watch. After 4 hours in the same spot, I came up with some interesting generalizations about women and their bodies.

Now girls, we are all born decently confident. We did not worry about our weight, hair color, eye color, stretch marks, sagging boobs, or anything else when we were little. But somewhere along the way, almost all women lose that self-confidence. Nowhere is that more obvious than at the kiddie pool. There were a few one-baby moms in the pool. A couple of those ladies still braved a bikini in public, but most wore shorts over the bottom. Now we all know that they are trying to cover up that tiny baby roll and probably a few stretch marks. Then there were the two-baby mommies - these moms changed to tankinis - typically with a skirted bottom. Still cute, but definitely covering up expanding hips and thighs. Then there were the other moms - three or more kids. These are the women who wear swimsuits under t-shirts and shorts or wear swimdresses. They no longer make eye contact with the other adults around them and pretend to be invisible because they are so self-conscious about their bodies. Now there were 2 exceptions to these generalizations - both were beautiful women who had obviously had some extensive repairs done. What was interesting to me is that many of the women trying to hide their bodies were very beautiful, slender, and attractive. My guess though is that they no longer view themselves as such because of the changes their body has gone through after childbirth. I am amazed that we as women are so self-conscious and find our value and worth in the mirror. It was most definitely interesting to watch and contemplate the attitudes of these women.  Really - life is short - who cares?!? I think I'm hot and my husband thinks I'm incredibly, amazingly, smokin' hot - does anybody else's opinion really matter?

The interesting thing is that I was telling all this stuff to my husband who says, "You know that's what makes you so hot." That makes no sense to me whatsoever - that he finds me more attractive after four kids than back in the day when I was skinny just because I'm comfortable in my own skin - But I guess I don't have to understand it to enjoy it!

Couple of side notes: Apparently men also change shape and have body image issues the more children that they have. It was really, really very funny to watch them as well but time is short and I can't share all of life's lessons tonight.

I did go down one big scary slide with my kids. It had to be a hundred feet tall with rushing water down the side of the steep mountain. They would not let anybody on who was not at least 3 years old! At the top, a small toddler began to cry with fear, and I felt led to join in, but restrained myself. My kids coached me through the entire process. "Mom, if you take a deep breath here, then you can hold your nose there, and really it's not as scary as it looks." I made it down in one piece, having only a moment of panic where I frantically tried to climb out of the shallow water and abandon the slide. They were very proud of me and promised that if we ever returned they would go with me on all the "safe" rides and help me not be scared! I love having kids - they do keep me from taking myself too seriously.

Now it's back to work for me. I have a crazy week ahead of me and need to get to sleep.

Fear puts you on the sidelines

Fear keeps us sidelined. That's what I realized tonight by the hotel pool. Many of you know that I have this horrible irrational water phobia thing since my brother Jon drowned several years ago. In particular, I do not get my face wet. Period. Ever. I even shower backwards to avoid accidentally getting it wet. It's one of those phobias where I panic and totally freak out in public. My family thinks it's hysterically funny. So tonight we were staying at a hotel and all went swimming. I use the term "swimming" loosely since my family was swimming, and I was sitting by the pool looking especially cute in my new coverup. (not getting my face wet) My family was having a great time splashing and swimming and racing each other across the pool. It was fun to watch them, but I regretted that my phobia keeps me from joining in the racing. Just in case you wondered, I am the only adult dog-paddler on the planet. Carefully swimming without putting my head in the water is quite the sight to see!

I was thinking about fear while I was looking especially cute sitting by the pool. It keeps us from trying so many things - many times things that lead to great and amazing adventures. Now my water phobia is probably not going away any time soon since it probably needs expensive therapy to cure, but I have found the courage recently to try many other new and exciting adventures. I have totally come out of my comfort zone in this church planting business to make new friends, start a new job, and try lots of new stuff in ministry. Not allowing my ministry to be held captive by fear has led to the greatest adventure of my life. I love the unknown and the unexpected things that are occurring in my life right now. God is at work and I am simply tagging along on this journey. I just can't hardly wait to see what God has in store for The Crossroads.

Tomorrow I am spending the day at Schlitterbahn with my family. Shawn won tickets for the family off the radio. He and the kids are so excited. I am sucking up my fear and will spend the day in the wading pools with the baby. (not getting my face wet) :)