God used a kid in my classroom to talk to me today. This particular child is always in trouble for disobedience. Today for example: I say, "sit down, pick up your pencil, it's time for your spelling test." He cleans up the marker board center instead. Very nice....but not obedient. Another day he dawdled lining up for P.E. I finally left him since it is illegal to drag a child down the hall by his ear. When I came back, he had placed every student's backpack on their desk. Very kind thought....but not obedient. This is an eternal battle with this child.
So God said to me today, "Look at him. Being good and obedience are not the same thing." I thought about that long and hard. I think I often make good choices, seek to do nice things for other people, try to be righteous. But sometimes all the good that I'm doing keeps me from having the time and energy to be obedient. Sometimes God is asking me to do something and I am too busy doing a good thing to obey. So that's my thought for the day....I want to seek obedience more than goodness. Sometimes what I think is the best choice is not what God thinks is best.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I want to see
Matthew 20:29-34 Two blind men were begging beside the road. They heard a large procession coming. When they were told it was Jesus they began to yell out for Jesus to have mercy on them. vs. 32, "Jesus stopped and called over, 'What do you want from me?' They said, 'Master, we want our eyes opened. We want to see!' Deeply moved, Jesus touched their eyes. They had their sight back that very instant, and joined the procession."
I am so blind. It seems that I often stumble through life without paying attention to where I'm going, or that I miss out on where God is headed until He's already moved on without me. But I love the attitude of the blind men. They pleaded with Jesus for mercy until he heard them and stopped. That's where I want to live my life...pleading with God for mercy and seeking God's hand in my life and not giving up until he stops and lets me join him. "Deeply moved, Jesus touched their eyes." Isn't it awesome that Jesus is deeply moved when we want him and are seeking him and when we are in need and are burdened! Then the healed guys joined the procession that was following Jesus. That's my prayer. That I will be able to see where God is headed so that I can follow along closely behind. I don't want to be blind and miss it.
A random blurb or two:
James, now in middle school is cracking me up. I was hanging out with him this afternoon listening to him tell me all about band. He's learning to play the sax. Definite progress there! But what was really funny was listening to the rivalry between the clarinets and the saxes. He was telling me that their class is called the trucks and the mice. Because the saxes are big and loud and the clarinets sound like squeaky mice. Then he was talking about a boy, and said with slight disdain, "He's my friend, even though he plays the clarinet."
I am so blind. It seems that I often stumble through life without paying attention to where I'm going, or that I miss out on where God is headed until He's already moved on without me. But I love the attitude of the blind men. They pleaded with Jesus for mercy until he heard them and stopped. That's where I want to live my life...pleading with God for mercy and seeking God's hand in my life and not giving up until he stops and lets me join him. "Deeply moved, Jesus touched their eyes." Isn't it awesome that Jesus is deeply moved when we want him and are seeking him and when we are in need and are burdened! Then the healed guys joined the procession that was following Jesus. That's my prayer. That I will be able to see where God is headed so that I can follow along closely behind. I don't want to be blind and miss it.
A random blurb or two:
James, now in middle school is cracking me up. I was hanging out with him this afternoon listening to him tell me all about band. He's learning to play the sax. Definite progress there! But what was really funny was listening to the rivalry between the clarinets and the saxes. He was telling me that their class is called the trucks and the mice. Because the saxes are big and loud and the clarinets sound like squeaky mice. Then he was talking about a boy, and said with slight disdain, "He's my friend, even though he plays the clarinet."
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Where'd last night's blog go?
I noticed that my blog from last night did not upload. Not sure why. Maybe for the best. I was just praying really hard for several of my friends with heavy burdens who are in deep crisis. I was even intentionally vague so that identities would remain secret. However, must have been that God wanted those prayers to be just between me and Him. But you might want to know...very cool....one of my friends that I was praying for got a very unexpected and incredible relief from her crisis early this morning. She said today that it was as if a car had been lifted off her chest. Another friend has a pretty clear answer about her future as well. So apparently God answered some of the prayers, even though they didn't make the blog for you to pray along with me.
Spiritual moment: Matthew 20:17-28. Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem when James and John's mom waylaid him. Imagining him to soon be king, she tries to secure her sons a place in Jesus's kingdom. I've met moms like that. The ones that push their children and try to finagle favors for them. Jesus talked to her about kingdom priorities...that being great means becoming small....and that Jesus came to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage. I was thinking about what a good description this is of life. Held hostage....and then Jesus makes us free. That's pretty stinkin' awesome! Sometimes I forget that I've been set free. I wander in darkness as if I am still a hostage to sin. It seems to be a learned behavior to walk every day like I've been set free.
Random blurbs about life: While I was freaking out about my flu shot today, I was reconsidering getting a tattoo. I have my design picked out, planning to get inked maybe for my birthday, but I really don't like needles and I don't do pain. I don't even tweeze my eyebrows 'cuz it hurts.
What do you buy your wife who's not very girly, but who's a facebook junkie and a bloggin' fool? high-speed internet and unlimited texting. Major brownie points for the husband! After I sent out a mass message that my texting is back, I had over 30 messages in my inbox in about an hour. So excited to be reconnected to the world. Seriously...having to have real conversations with people....what's up with that?
Too bad about the missing blog...it was a very spiritual moment.
Spiritual moment: Matthew 20:17-28. Jesus was on the way to Jerusalem when James and John's mom waylaid him. Imagining him to soon be king, she tries to secure her sons a place in Jesus's kingdom. I've met moms like that. The ones that push their children and try to finagle favors for them. Jesus talked to her about kingdom priorities...that being great means becoming small....and that Jesus came to give away his life in exchange for the many who are held hostage. I was thinking about what a good description this is of life. Held hostage....and then Jesus makes us free. That's pretty stinkin' awesome! Sometimes I forget that I've been set free. I wander in darkness as if I am still a hostage to sin. It seems to be a learned behavior to walk every day like I've been set free.
Random blurbs about life: While I was freaking out about my flu shot today, I was reconsidering getting a tattoo. I have my design picked out, planning to get inked maybe for my birthday, but I really don't like needles and I don't do pain. I don't even tweeze my eyebrows 'cuz it hurts.
What do you buy your wife who's not very girly, but who's a facebook junkie and a bloggin' fool? high-speed internet and unlimited texting. Major brownie points for the husband! After I sent out a mass message that my texting is back, I had over 30 messages in my inbox in about an hour. So excited to be reconnected to the world. Seriously...having to have real conversations with people....what's up with that?
Too bad about the missing blog...it was a very spiritual moment.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Couple more things from Worship Leader
Here's a couple more things I enjoyed from the September Worship Leader...not too cheesy.
song story "God of This City"
In our pre-launch phase of church planting, "God of This City" sort of became our theme song. Shawn heard it at a church planting conference and was moved as the names of the cities across the U.S. where church plants were starting up this year scrolled across the screen. We've used it many times over the last year, but I was very moved when I read the story of its origins.
It would seem that it originated with a band called Bluetree out of Belfast. This group was on mission in Thailand, in a city famous for being the most famous sex-tourist destination on the planet. The band, in looking for venues to play, had an open door at a bar. "The Climax Bar"...you can imagine what was sold there. As the band played a worship set and began praying over their location, and the neediness of the city, Aaron Boyd was moved to sing a new song on the spot, "You're the God of this city, You're the King of these people, You're the Lord of this nation, You Are."
Gives new perspective to the lyrics, huh? God is indeed God of that city, and my city, and your city. He desires to be King of us all....no matter what our lifestyles.
Other article I was interested in: "Jonathan Stockstill, Catching the Gravity of Worship."
This was an interview with Jonathan Stockstill, front for Deluge Band. Here's what caught my attention. It's like God is saying the same stuff to him that he's been saying to me. "We tend to wander through different church growth strategies, without asking, what does God want us to do? If Jesus were here and was the pastor of this church, what would it look like? What would it be, you know? So many ministries can do church without God. They have marketing teams that have huge churches. They just pat themselves on the back and think it's amazing, but what they are doing hasn't required God's help to get there. It's just a huge social club. Just look at Oprah." "It's like we feel the need to build our own kingdoms within the kingdom. And it's good for us to dream, but it's easy to get caught trying to build our own dominions, instead of realizing we're just a part of the kingdom." This is what I've been saying, right? It's not about a show....it's about Jesus. It is easy to stumble off into doing ministry in our own strength and wisdom, harder to walk in humility and surrender. Doing ministry in my own strength is not incredible and amazing. It is only in seeing what God can do that there is any awe.
Then here's this, "I think a lot of the time what we think is holiness is really purity. Holiness is what you do. It's not what you don't do....Holiness is the pursuit of God....Look at the Pharisees. They were always talking about abstaining. But they weren't holy." I pondered on this a lot today. About the difference between holiness and purity. I had never considered the difference in the two terms, but I think the kid may be right.
We focus hard on purity as a church. Don't........whatever. The rules are mind - boggling and discouraging. I can never manage to keep up with them all. I think purity is certainly a component of holiness. I do think that when we are living in purity, it is easier to find God than when we are swallowed up in deliberate sin. However, I think that as believers we seem to rarely move beyond the quest for purity. Holiness...the quest for God and being intimately connected with Him is a journey that I found on my own. It is a walk that is more about discovering God's character and living a life of obedience and love and seeking God's face than about all the "nots". When I focus on holiness, it seems that purity follows close behind. When I am intimately seeking God's face, and I am consumed with hunger and passion and desire for Him, I am not as interested in sin. It is when I am doing ministry in my own ability and being full of myself and focusing on other "stuff", instead of my God - relationship, that sin easily entangles me. It's like walking into a cobweb in the dark. Surprisingly sticky and hard to get out of.
That's my take on the September issue of Worship Leader. A little better than the August issue. I may even attempt to read the October issue that's been thrown under my bed since it arrived a couple of weeks ago. There were even a couple of "decent" songs on the CD. It was cool to see an old friend show up on the Song Discovery CD. Way to go Matt!
song story "God of This City"
In our pre-launch phase of church planting, "God of This City" sort of became our theme song. Shawn heard it at a church planting conference and was moved as the names of the cities across the U.S. where church plants were starting up this year scrolled across the screen. We've used it many times over the last year, but I was very moved when I read the story of its origins.
It would seem that it originated with a band called Bluetree out of Belfast. This group was on mission in Thailand, in a city famous for being the most famous sex-tourist destination on the planet. The band, in looking for venues to play, had an open door at a bar. "The Climax Bar"...you can imagine what was sold there. As the band played a worship set and began praying over their location, and the neediness of the city, Aaron Boyd was moved to sing a new song on the spot, "You're the God of this city, You're the King of these people, You're the Lord of this nation, You Are."
Gives new perspective to the lyrics, huh? God is indeed God of that city, and my city, and your city. He desires to be King of us all....no matter what our lifestyles.
Other article I was interested in: "Jonathan Stockstill, Catching the Gravity of Worship."
This was an interview with Jonathan Stockstill, front for Deluge Band. Here's what caught my attention. It's like God is saying the same stuff to him that he's been saying to me. "We tend to wander through different church growth strategies, without asking, what does God want us to do? If Jesus were here and was the pastor of this church, what would it look like? What would it be, you know? So many ministries can do church without God. They have marketing teams that have huge churches. They just pat themselves on the back and think it's amazing, but what they are doing hasn't required God's help to get there. It's just a huge social club. Just look at Oprah." "It's like we feel the need to build our own kingdoms within the kingdom. And it's good for us to dream, but it's easy to get caught trying to build our own dominions, instead of realizing we're just a part of the kingdom." This is what I've been saying, right? It's not about a show....it's about Jesus. It is easy to stumble off into doing ministry in our own strength and wisdom, harder to walk in humility and surrender. Doing ministry in my own strength is not incredible and amazing. It is only in seeing what God can do that there is any awe.
Then here's this, "I think a lot of the time what we think is holiness is really purity. Holiness is what you do. It's not what you don't do....Holiness is the pursuit of God....Look at the Pharisees. They were always talking about abstaining. But they weren't holy." I pondered on this a lot today. About the difference between holiness and purity. I had never considered the difference in the two terms, but I think the kid may be right.
We focus hard on purity as a church. Don't........whatever. The rules are mind - boggling and discouraging. I can never manage to keep up with them all. I think purity is certainly a component of holiness. I do think that when we are living in purity, it is easier to find God than when we are swallowed up in deliberate sin. However, I think that as believers we seem to rarely move beyond the quest for purity. Holiness...the quest for God and being intimately connected with Him is a journey that I found on my own. It is a walk that is more about discovering God's character and living a life of obedience and love and seeking God's face than about all the "nots". When I focus on holiness, it seems that purity follows close behind. When I am intimately seeking God's face, and I am consumed with hunger and passion and desire for Him, I am not as interested in sin. It is when I am doing ministry in my own ability and being full of myself and focusing on other "stuff", instead of my God - relationship, that sin easily entangles me. It's like walking into a cobweb in the dark. Surprisingly sticky and hard to get out of.
That's my take on the September issue of Worship Leader. A little better than the August issue. I may even attempt to read the October issue that's been thrown under my bed since it arrived a couple of weeks ago. There were even a couple of "decent" songs on the CD. It was cool to see an old friend show up on the Song Discovery CD. Way to go Matt!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Monday Morning Updates
It was an awesome day at the Crossroads. God moved among his people and it was beautiful to see. Worship was awesome. I'm really diggin' playing with the band. We're going to miss Grrr - the bass player - he's leaving on Monday for the Air Force. I am praying hard that God will raise up the musicians that he needs for the band. That our needs will be met in the perfect way and at the perfect time. He has certainly done a great job so far. Hello - have you met worship dude? And then God pulling Jake back into the band has really firmed things up....and we've got this kid, Connor, playing electric, that has unbelievable raw talent....and Landon is really slammin' on the drums....and we've got these beautiful back-up babes for vocals. I am also praying for some other big stuff with music. Shhh...it's a secret! Can't wait to see how God does on answering!
Loved the sermon! In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is one of my all time favorite books. I am so pumped about this sermon series. It will be exciting to see how God changes lives. I am certainly ready to chase a lion....I just need to know which lion to chase. Of course, I do tend to get distracted easily when the pastor wears shorts. He has really awesome legs. I think he wears shorts just to flirt with me. (for those of you who don't know, I'm married to the pastor....not making inappropriate comments about just any minister) He did wear tennis shoes...so at least he did not have on his flip-flops, or I would not have been able to pay attention at all. Seriously hon...you are doing an amazing job at this church planting thing. Wow!
We had a picnic at the new park in town after church. That was cool - to hang out with old friends and a couple of new friends. I'm praying hard for our house to sell so we can get into Anna and have Bible study in our home. I think it is a critical need for plugging people into the community of believers.
To all my friends from the Crossroads - thanks for such a great experience. When we first started to dream big dreams, my dreams were not even this good. God is already doing bigger and better things than I had planned. I can't imagine better people to serve God with, and I am so excited about where God is taking us. I am blessed to call you all family.
Happy Monday.
Loved the sermon! In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day is one of my all time favorite books. I am so pumped about this sermon series. It will be exciting to see how God changes lives. I am certainly ready to chase a lion....I just need to know which lion to chase. Of course, I do tend to get distracted easily when the pastor wears shorts. He has really awesome legs. I think he wears shorts just to flirt with me. (for those of you who don't know, I'm married to the pastor....not making inappropriate comments about just any minister) He did wear tennis shoes...so at least he did not have on his flip-flops, or I would not have been able to pay attention at all. Seriously hon...you are doing an amazing job at this church planting thing. Wow!
We had a picnic at the new park in town after church. That was cool - to hang out with old friends and a couple of new friends. I'm praying hard for our house to sell so we can get into Anna and have Bible study in our home. I think it is a critical need for plugging people into the community of believers.
To all my friends from the Crossroads - thanks for such a great experience. When we first started to dream big dreams, my dreams were not even this good. God is already doing bigger and better things than I had planned. I can't imagine better people to serve God with, and I am so excited about where God is taking us. I am blessed to call you all family.
Happy Monday.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I don't want to do the show
*Quick disclaimer for those of you who follow me closely on facebook. Somehow I have accidentally added a dating application...don't ask - it's complicated...and I can not figure out how to remove it. Just wanted to make sure that everybody is aware that a. I am stupid when it comes to technology, b. I am not shopping for a new husband....I really like the one that I currently have. He's pretty stinkin' awesome!
Anyway.......
Here's what I'm pondering tonight.....thoughts on worship and life.
I had not really taken time to read the September issue of Worship Leader magazine after being so woefully disappointed in my first issue. It has lain literally untouched on top of the piano for several weeks. I finally grabbed it today and flipped through a few of the articles. It was like God had planned the timing of the reading. Many of the authors were on the exact same page that I have been lately about "the show" versus "real church".
Francis Chan wrote an article, "Why are They Leaving" about youth leaving the church. A couple of his points hit home with me. "Our job is to create sacred space, so He can reveal Himself. Could it be that, in our quest to creatively make Jesus cool ....we've actually hidden Him? Do we plan meetings that are so busy and overproduced that we crowd Him out?" The article addressed some of the differences between the early church and the contemporary church. The difference between relationships and community and putting on a show. "Something real was happening in the early church. It was something of the Spirit too powerful to be replicated by human effort. Imagine taking a young person to one of their church gatherings. Your friend might not experience a smoothly run, professional service. But there is one thing he or she would experience: God."
After reading this, I thought long and hard about church. I am conditioned to setting the stage and getting ready for worship and preparing to worship and making sure all the pieces are in place. And yet....a majority of my most incredible encounters with God have not occurred in a worship service. Oh, there have been some...some ecstatic and excited, some repentant and broken, some confusing but beautiful. However, I am much more likely to hear from and experience God in other places and at other times. As I have been contemplating "the show" over the last few weeks, I am wondering if I am still subconsciously more worried about "the show" than about God. I don't want to miss out on God. I don't want to plan God out of "the show".
Now.. .pausing for just a moment of clarification...at the Crossroads, I think we are doing a great job of trying to avoid a show and seeking God with all that we are. This is simply a personal journey and a needed reflection for me on where church is going and what I need to do to make sure that I am ready when God shows up...not a reflection on either one of you guys leading at the Crossroads. You're doing a great job and I am privileged to serve with you. Definitely a member of your fan clubs.
So here on Saturday night, thinking about worship tomorrow, I'm spending some time in prayer...................................................................................................
God, you are moving across the globe. Everywhere that I look, everything that I see and hear is pointing to a God who is on the move. I know that you are ready to do great things. I am excited about seeing the hugeness of your mighty power. I am excited to hear the rumblings of your presence.
God, I was so convicted by Chan's words. Please, I don't ever want to be so caught up in selling Jesus or in making Jesus look cool that I don't leave room for his presence in worship. I know that Jesus does not need my marketing strategies (good thing, since they suck) He does not need my technology or my talent in order to do big and mighty things in the world. God, I'm laying before you in humility and surrender. Everything that I am is yours...all of my possessions, abilities, talents, and relationships. It all belongs to you...use it for your kingdom.
Meet with us tomorrow. Meet with me. I want to see your face. I am not content with shallow....teach me to swim in the ocean of your great and mighty presence. I can't wait to see you there tomorrow! "Come like a rushing wind. Fill us with power from on high. Now set the captives free. Leave us abandoned to your praise. Lord let your glory fall. Lord, let your glory fall." Echoing Tim Hughes. I want to be abandoned to your praise tomorrow. Because you alone are worthy.
Anyway.......
Here's what I'm pondering tonight.....thoughts on worship and life.
I had not really taken time to read the September issue of Worship Leader magazine after being so woefully disappointed in my first issue. It has lain literally untouched on top of the piano for several weeks. I finally grabbed it today and flipped through a few of the articles. It was like God had planned the timing of the reading. Many of the authors were on the exact same page that I have been lately about "the show" versus "real church".
Francis Chan wrote an article, "Why are They Leaving" about youth leaving the church. A couple of his points hit home with me. "Our job is to create sacred space, so He can reveal Himself. Could it be that, in our quest to creatively make Jesus cool ....we've actually hidden Him? Do we plan meetings that are so busy and overproduced that we crowd Him out?" The article addressed some of the differences between the early church and the contemporary church. The difference between relationships and community and putting on a show. "Something real was happening in the early church. It was something of the Spirit too powerful to be replicated by human effort. Imagine taking a young person to one of their church gatherings. Your friend might not experience a smoothly run, professional service. But there is one thing he or she would experience: God."
After reading this, I thought long and hard about church. I am conditioned to setting the stage and getting ready for worship and preparing to worship and making sure all the pieces are in place. And yet....a majority of my most incredible encounters with God have not occurred in a worship service. Oh, there have been some...some ecstatic and excited, some repentant and broken, some confusing but beautiful. However, I am much more likely to hear from and experience God in other places and at other times. As I have been contemplating "the show" over the last few weeks, I am wondering if I am still subconsciously more worried about "the show" than about God. I don't want to miss out on God. I don't want to plan God out of "the show".
Now.. .pausing for just a moment of clarification...at the Crossroads, I think we are doing a great job of trying to avoid a show and seeking God with all that we are. This is simply a personal journey and a needed reflection for me on where church is going and what I need to do to make sure that I am ready when God shows up...not a reflection on either one of you guys leading at the Crossroads. You're doing a great job and I am privileged to serve with you. Definitely a member of your fan clubs.
So here on Saturday night, thinking about worship tomorrow, I'm spending some time in prayer...................................................................................................
God, you are moving across the globe. Everywhere that I look, everything that I see and hear is pointing to a God who is on the move. I know that you are ready to do great things. I am excited about seeing the hugeness of your mighty power. I am excited to hear the rumblings of your presence.
God, I was so convicted by Chan's words. Please, I don't ever want to be so caught up in selling Jesus or in making Jesus look cool that I don't leave room for his presence in worship. I know that Jesus does not need my marketing strategies (good thing, since they suck) He does not need my technology or my talent in order to do big and mighty things in the world. God, I'm laying before you in humility and surrender. Everything that I am is yours...all of my possessions, abilities, talents, and relationships. It all belongs to you...use it for your kingdom.
Meet with us tomorrow. Meet with me. I want to see your face. I am not content with shallow....teach me to swim in the ocean of your great and mighty presence. I can't wait to see you there tomorrow! "Come like a rushing wind. Fill us with power from on high. Now set the captives free. Leave us abandoned to your praise. Lord let your glory fall. Lord, let your glory fall." Echoing Tim Hughes. I want to be abandoned to your praise tomorrow. Because you alone are worthy.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Odd God moment
One last thing....three blogs in one day makes it up to those of you who panicked when I skipped a day, right?
Last night I felt the tingle of a migraine start up about 4:00. When I got home, I drank some coffee....sometimes helps. By the end of band practice, I would have cut off my own head if I could've. I drove home with my knees so that I could apply pressure to my head with both hands. Took migraine pills - lots of caffeine. So after the headache abated, I laid pointlessly in bed waiting for sleep until about 2 a.m.
This is not the point...just setting the stage for how come I was awake at 2. The odd God moment was this. From about 11 until I went to sleep around 2, the music in my head was so loud that I could not consider sleep. It was all stuff I knew, not like a songwriting moment or anything. It struck me as strange that no matter how hard I tried to form thoughts, it was completely impossible. But then this morning when I woke up, I felt strangely refreshed and renewed. It was as if somehow during the night, my entire soul had been cleansed. I did not understand until late this afternoon when I was thinking about it....Zeph. 3:17 - God sings over us. Just had the random thought that maybe the music in my head was God's way of singing over me in the night. It certainly had unusual effects the next morning. Don't know - maybe this doesn't even make sense - sometimes the medicine does do loopy things to me. But it was cool.
Last night I felt the tingle of a migraine start up about 4:00. When I got home, I drank some coffee....sometimes helps. By the end of band practice, I would have cut off my own head if I could've. I drove home with my knees so that I could apply pressure to my head with both hands. Took migraine pills - lots of caffeine. So after the headache abated, I laid pointlessly in bed waiting for sleep until about 2 a.m.
This is not the point...just setting the stage for how come I was awake at 2. The odd God moment was this. From about 11 until I went to sleep around 2, the music in my head was so loud that I could not consider sleep. It was all stuff I knew, not like a songwriting moment or anything. It struck me as strange that no matter how hard I tried to form thoughts, it was completely impossible. But then this morning when I woke up, I felt strangely refreshed and renewed. It was as if somehow during the night, my entire soul had been cleansed. I did not understand until late this afternoon when I was thinking about it....Zeph. 3:17 - God sings over us. Just had the random thought that maybe the music in my head was God's way of singing over me in the night. It certainly had unusual effects the next morning. Don't know - maybe this doesn't even make sense - sometimes the medicine does do loopy things to me. But it was cool.
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