I had the opportunity to attend a Tenth Avenue North concert last night. Loved getting to hear Brenton Brown as well, and the opener chick (Audrey Assad) was unbelievably good. However, it was way after midnight when I got to bed. And I had been up since 4:30. I turned off the alarm, looking forward to some good sleeping in on a rainy morning.
My God had other plans. I woke up this morning around 5:30 and could not go back to sleep. I tried to lay in bed and listen to the rain and relax, but my body was screaming to go run. I was determined to ignore it till at least 7, but then God began to talk. "Come on, let's go for a run. Just you and me."
Since my kitchen timer has disappeared (I suspect friends who are embarrassed by my ghetto running), I am having to listen to the ipod on my phone and use its timer. I can't do Pandora and use the timer at the same time, can't have 2 apps open simultaneously. I scrolled down to my playlist that I recently posted on itunes, "LaRissa's worship stuff" and hit shuffle.
I barely had time to finish my 3 minute walking warm-up before I was lost in worship and needed to run. That first run interval was 10 minutes. No lie. I just doubled my running time. After that I alternated 2-3 minute running with 1-2 minutes of walking. It was a great run.
When I left the house, darkness engulfed me. Literally, emotionally, and spiritually. The air was heavy with humidity, but there wasn't a drop of rain falling. I felt a little cheated that I wasn't going to get to run in the rain. Then God taught me an amazing lesson. Daylight crept in slowly as I ran that second mile. I couldn't see the sun, but my path became clearer and better lit. It was not bright, but I could find my way. Just because I can't see God doesn't mean that He's not lighting my way.
This is my life right now. I am having issues with not being able to fully see God's plan in my life, and have been horribly discouraged. God reminded me that I do not have to see the full light of his plan to trust him and begin following him. I began running while it was still dark. It was only after 30 minutes that I could clearly see where I was going, and even then I did not have the full light of the day. I do not have to see where we are going to be able to worship Him.
On this note of surrender, I ran up "the hill" - the one where I had the incredible running in the rain experience several weeks ago. The same song "All these Words" began to play as the rain began to pour. Well of course then I couldn't head home as God used the rain to remind me how much He loves me. It was, for me, such an amazing gift of His love and His presence this morning. I was a reminder that God's got my life in his hands, all I need to do is run after Him and pursue Him with love and passion. Then the next song, "Bring the Rain" began to play. (Another song from the running in the rain day) I ran and cried. And cried and ran, long past my three mile mark but unable to give up being in God's presence. More good stuff played in my headphones as I worshiped a God that created the stars and loves me. Crowder's new song "How He Loves" and Starfield's, "Holy Is Our God."
I can't express to you how amazed I was this morning as I realized that I was not running alone. I am not running alone as my feet are hitting the pavement, and I am not running alone as I muddle through this thing called life. God is running alongside me. I don't get it. I don't get how in the world a God who could be spending time with anybody on the planet would ever choose to spend time with me. And not just a casual encounter here and there in my life, but actually a very real physical experience of His love pouring out on me as the rain soaked through my clothes and dripped off my skin. So I don't understand it at all, but I am so very grateful that God is teaching me what it means to fall desperately and hopelessly in love with Him. And what it feels like to experience Him loving me.
So my prayer is that God would rain down on us all. God, pour out your love, your hope, your grace and your presence at The Crossroads tomorrow. But God, I don't wait until tomorrow to spend more time with you. Seek me out today and help me to search for your heart and your purposes today. God remind me continually of your greatness and your might and your power and your love. Your unbelievably beautifully amazing love. Thank you that you are still in the business of bringing beauty from ashes.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Love your enemies
What to write about tonight? I've been so crazy busy, but I don't know that it's anything interesting or insightful. I have lots of stuff on my mind - there's several cool and exciting things going on with some of my friends and with The Crossroads that I am not free to talk about yet, but also several deep prayer needs from my own life and the lives of my friends that are not internet material. So my mind is racing, hunting for something to write about that will not get me into any trouble.
I was thinking about something earlier this evening though that might be blog worthy. Sunday afternoon we took our children out to eat at a fairly nice restaurant along with some of our friends. James apparently accidentally sprayed spit on Grace when he was talking. So being my hot headed daughter (don't know where she gets that), she hocked one up and spit back at him in his face. Being my hot headed son (don't know where he gets that either), James decked her in the nose. Being overly dramatic (nope, don't know where that comes from either), Grace began screaming at the top of her lungs in the restaurant while holding her nose. They were suitably punished by their dad who controls his temper much better than me. They were not fed any lunch and were forced to sit in the car while the rest of us enjoyed a very leisurely dinner. Even this afternoon they were yelling at each other in the car until I had to enforce a zero talking policy until we reached home. TEENS!
But a few hours ago we were hanging out in the living room, and James was telling Grace all the nice stuff he's heard about her at the middle school from her teachers. She lit up like a christmas tree. She loves words of affirmation. They were suddenly the very best of friends. She was then telling him congratulations on making the A string football team as a starter. They chatted about teachers and classes and homework and were suddenly the very best friends ever. I was frankly just weirded out. These kids have been totally hateful to each other lately and abruptly shifted gears.
It made me think through the depth of the family relationship. It did not matter that my children had hated each other just a few days ago. They are family and family loves each other no matter what. Family looks for opportunities to build each other up. They stick up for each other and love each other like crazy. Sometimes they may go through tough times or even intense times of dislike, but they still love each other.
I was reminded of the importance of that depth of love relationship with our church family. I want to continue to see The Crossroads loving each other like family. Warts and all. I want to love other people like that, and I want to be loved that way. I want to seek opportunities to affirm my friends and to forgive my enemies and treat them with value and respect. It's amazing how many lessons I learn from watching my children!
I was thinking about something earlier this evening though that might be blog worthy. Sunday afternoon we took our children out to eat at a fairly nice restaurant along with some of our friends. James apparently accidentally sprayed spit on Grace when he was talking. So being my hot headed daughter (don't know where she gets that), she hocked one up and spit back at him in his face. Being my hot headed son (don't know where he gets that either), James decked her in the nose. Being overly dramatic (nope, don't know where that comes from either), Grace began screaming at the top of her lungs in the restaurant while holding her nose. They were suitably punished by their dad who controls his temper much better than me. They were not fed any lunch and were forced to sit in the car while the rest of us enjoyed a very leisurely dinner. Even this afternoon they were yelling at each other in the car until I had to enforce a zero talking policy until we reached home. TEENS!
But a few hours ago we were hanging out in the living room, and James was telling Grace all the nice stuff he's heard about her at the middle school from her teachers. She lit up like a christmas tree. She loves words of affirmation. They were suddenly the very best of friends. She was then telling him congratulations on making the A string football team as a starter. They chatted about teachers and classes and homework and were suddenly the very best friends ever. I was frankly just weirded out. These kids have been totally hateful to each other lately and abruptly shifted gears.
It made me think through the depth of the family relationship. It did not matter that my children had hated each other just a few days ago. They are family and family loves each other no matter what. Family looks for opportunities to build each other up. They stick up for each other and love each other like crazy. Sometimes they may go through tough times or even intense times of dislike, but they still love each other.
I was reminded of the importance of that depth of love relationship with our church family. I want to continue to see The Crossroads loving each other like family. Warts and all. I want to love other people like that, and I want to be loved that way. I want to seek opportunities to affirm my friends and to forgive my enemies and treat them with value and respect. It's amazing how many lessons I learn from watching my children!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Baby Steps
My running is coming along fairly well. When I started a month ago, I ran 1 minute without stopping. This week I upped it to 5 minutes. Huge progress for this chunky chick. I'm loving running. It's an amazing stress reliever for me and helps me empty my mind and focus solely on God's voice. Well, except for the nights when I'm in the mood for some sexy tunes while I'm running under the stars. Then I'm running with some Norah in the headphones. There's just something different about running in the early morning before everyone awakes and under the star studded night sky. Don't know why. I like both for very different reasons.
This week when I upped my running from 2 minute to 5 minute intervals I really thought hard about how that applies to the Christian walk. When I started running, I began with baby steps. I ran slowly for short periods of time. I did not, and still do not have the stamina to run 3 miles yet. I have to work up to the long mileage. I was thinking about how we expect believers to accept Christ and have the knowledge and stamina to know how to follow Him. I realized that new believers begin with baby steps and grow slowly toward an entirely faith filled lifestyle. I am still often slowly walking toward Christ instead of passionately running to him.
I also thought about how lonely it is to run alone. Honestly, sometimes it's just freakishly scary. I was run off the road the other night by some teenage kids. And yet somehow we expect new believers to run the journey all alone. I love that The Crossroads seems to have a heart for running alongside people. I watch our congregation support one another in awe of the beautiful things God is doing. I want us to continually seek ways to run alongside each other.
This week when I upped my running from 2 minute to 5 minute intervals I really thought hard about how that applies to the Christian walk. When I started running, I began with baby steps. I ran slowly for short periods of time. I did not, and still do not have the stamina to run 3 miles yet. I have to work up to the long mileage. I was thinking about how we expect believers to accept Christ and have the knowledge and stamina to know how to follow Him. I realized that new believers begin with baby steps and grow slowly toward an entirely faith filled lifestyle. I am still often slowly walking toward Christ instead of passionately running to him.
I also thought about how lonely it is to run alone. Honestly, sometimes it's just freakishly scary. I was run off the road the other night by some teenage kids. And yet somehow we expect new believers to run the journey all alone. I love that The Crossroads seems to have a heart for running alongside people. I watch our congregation support one another in awe of the beautiful things God is doing. I want us to continually seek ways to run alongside each other.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday morning update
We are enjoying cooler weather in the cheer gym. It's awesome to be decently comfortable in church. I love seeing so many new faces each week as well. It's cool that people are finding us and stopping by to check us out.
Shawn preached on our core values. It seems like a lifetime ago that we sat at his mom's kitchen table brainstorming those. It is humbling to see our dream become reality. Be sure to listen to the podcast at www.welcometothecrossroads .com. He also showed that video I posted the other day about missions. I bawled through it again. Tears dripping off my chin, running down my neck. He could've warned me!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Week One - Over
I must say that this may be the easiest class I've had in my 6 years of teaching first grade. We will see as the year progresses, but as of now, my discipline problems are very normal, ordinary 6 year old issues. The kids seem to be reasonably bright and capable. I have never had the "good" class, so I don't really know how to react. Every year I have had amazingly wonderful students, but also very challenging children. I am curious what it would be like to have the "good" class.
Here are some great quotes from my classroom:
Girl during career discussion, "When I grow up, I want to be a cash register." Boy, "I want to be a Target."
I caught a girl with something that's not hers, and asked her where it came from. She looked at me with her big eyes, and without missing a beat said, "I stealeded it." - ?!?
I had to talk to one student who kept inviting her friends at recess to come over to our class to play. "You should come to the fun class." She was crushed that friends can't come over to hang out in our room. They have their own classes.
The grown-up drama is a little funny as well. We have a new dress code - think business professional. To give the girls credit, I have not heard a single complaint about the clothes. Everybody bit the bullet, spent the money, and is showing up looking like movie stars.
It's the shoes that are killing us all. The first week of school, elementary teachers never sit. NEVER! I only sit during my 10 minute lunch or if I am reading a short book to the children. All day we are on our feet in our classroom and walking the halls. We are all struggling to find shoes that we can stand to wear all day. Several teachers are ordering the high-heeled crocs that I have. At a teacher meeting we were comparing blisters, redness, swollen feet, and ripped toe-nails. The winner had seven bandaids on one foot. Our principal passed out band-aids in our mailboxes yesterday. She makes this all bearable. She's a hoot about the whole thing. She even said a eulogy for our flip-flops.
My schedule is crazy. I am up a little after four to start my day. Some days I work out before school unless I am taking James to football practice at 6:15. On those days, I am having to work out after school. It is rare for me to get to bed before 10:30 - leaving me permanently exhausted. I will say that the workouts seem to add a lot of stamina to my day. A good run provides the same level of perkiness and energy as about 6 cups of coffee. On running days, I don't have the afternoon energy slump either. Weights are like having only about 3 cups. It is definitely worth the early mornings (can we all say -8 pounds woo hoo!), and I think eventually the routine will smooth out a little.
Our life is slowly improving. The air conditioning at the house is finally repaired and we got our suburban out of the shop. Now we are waiting on a friend to see if he can fix the dead PT Cruiser. I want to say a HUGE thanks to all the friends who supplied rides and loaned vehicles while we were carless. I know some of them sacrificed a lot of convenience to provide for our needs.
Keep praying for me. I have an insane weekend ahead of me. I have tons to do at work, tons to do at home, and urgent ministry projects as well. Pray that I would seek God first
Here are some great quotes from my classroom:
Girl during career discussion, "When I grow up, I want to be a cash register." Boy, "I want to be a Target."
I caught a girl with something that's not hers, and asked her where it came from. She looked at me with her big eyes, and without missing a beat said, "I stealeded it." - ?!?
I had to talk to one student who kept inviting her friends at recess to come over to our class to play. "You should come to the fun class." She was crushed that friends can't come over to hang out in our room. They have their own classes.
The grown-up drama is a little funny as well. We have a new dress code - think business professional. To give the girls credit, I have not heard a single complaint about the clothes. Everybody bit the bullet, spent the money, and is showing up looking like movie stars.
It's the shoes that are killing us all. The first week of school, elementary teachers never sit. NEVER! I only sit during my 10 minute lunch or if I am reading a short book to the children. All day we are on our feet in our classroom and walking the halls. We are all struggling to find shoes that we can stand to wear all day. Several teachers are ordering the high-heeled crocs that I have. At a teacher meeting we were comparing blisters, redness, swollen feet, and ripped toe-nails. The winner had seven bandaids on one foot. Our principal passed out band-aids in our mailboxes yesterday. She makes this all bearable. She's a hoot about the whole thing. She even said a eulogy for our flip-flops.
My schedule is crazy. I am up a little after four to start my day. Some days I work out before school unless I am taking James to football practice at 6:15. On those days, I am having to work out after school. It is rare for me to get to bed before 10:30 - leaving me permanently exhausted. I will say that the workouts seem to add a lot of stamina to my day. A good run provides the same level of perkiness and energy as about 6 cups of coffee. On running days, I don't have the afternoon energy slump either. Weights are like having only about 3 cups. It is definitely worth the early mornings (can we all say -8 pounds woo hoo!), and I think eventually the routine will smooth out a little.
Our life is slowly improving. The air conditioning at the house is finally repaired and we got our suburban out of the shop. Now we are waiting on a friend to see if he can fix the dead PT Cruiser. I want to say a HUGE thanks to all the friends who supplied rides and loaned vehicles while we were carless. I know some of them sacrificed a lot of convenience to provide for our needs.
Keep praying for me. I have an insane weekend ahead of me. I have tons to do at work, tons to do at home, and urgent ministry projects as well. Pray that I would seek God first
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Why Go?
Why Go? People ask me often why is there an urgency to mission work? Why can't we focus the bulk of our energy on people in our city, state, and nation? Let other nations take care of their own business. Why do I feel burdened by the need of the world to hear about Jesus? After all, haven't most people heard by now? I think this may be the best explanation of the value of worldwide missions that I have ever seen. Let God show you His heart for the world.
This video made me bawl as I realized the absolute magnitude of the task ahead of us. I am desperately praying that God would use my life - every single minute of it - however He needs to in order to impact the world.
This video made me bawl as I realized the absolute magnitude of the task ahead of us. I am desperately praying that God would use my life - every single minute of it - however He needs to in order to impact the world.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The first day
This is my 7 th first day of school as a teacher; my 6th as a 1st grade teacher. Every year I am horribly nervous and beg God to keep me from puking in front of the kids. Every year He comes through for me.
It was a good first day. I have a few friends who need to change tables soon. This first part of the year makes me crazy. Training the kids on what I expect is challenging and at times monotonous. Honestly - how many times do we need to practice lining up?
I am anxious for life to settle back into a routine. Right now we have big adjustments to make with our schedules. The immediate biggie is that James has to be at football at 6:15. That means we have to leave Sherman by 5:45. This is challenging since we are currently with only one car. The other is in for repairs. We have everything worked out for tomorrow. So I guess we are good to go.
I confess that I am frustrated by all the things that are not going well. They are all minor but still frustrating - no ac at the house yet, warranty screw ups with the suburban, no ac in the pt cruiser, etc. Pray that I will have eternal perspective on all this stuff. Cause it is just stuff.
Pray that God will give our family energy this week. The first week that I go back to school is always hard on the family, but it gets easier after that. Pray that I will bring God glory every single day in my classroom and that He will use me for kingdom purposes.
It was a good first day. I have a few friends who need to change tables soon. This first part of the year makes me crazy. Training the kids on what I expect is challenging and at times monotonous. Honestly - how many times do we need to practice lining up?
I am anxious for life to settle back into a routine. Right now we have big adjustments to make with our schedules. The immediate biggie is that James has to be at football at 6:15. That means we have to leave Sherman by 5:45. This is challenging since we are currently with only one car. The other is in for repairs. We have everything worked out for tomorrow. So I guess we are good to go.
I confess that I am frustrated by all the things that are not going well. They are all minor but still frustrating - no ac at the house yet, warranty screw ups with the suburban, no ac in the pt cruiser, etc. Pray that I will have eternal perspective on all this stuff. Cause it is just stuff.
Pray that God will give our family energy this week. The first week that I go back to school is always hard on the family, but it gets easier after that. Pray that I will bring God glory every single day in my classroom and that He will use me for kingdom purposes.
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