The Little Engine That Could

Total God moment in first grade today. I was reading a story to my class, "The Little Engine that Could." We were discussing positive thinking, etc. all the stuff that first grade classes talk about. Then God said - Look at that story again.

As I reread it to the class, God showed me some important lessons about life. So here's the scoop. There's a broken down toy train on the side of the road looking for an engine to help her get over the mountain to the other side. She seek help from a variety of sources. The first engine is too fancy and proud to stop and help - his awesomeness and busyness keeps him from getting involved. The second engine is too strong to take on small matters. He hauls big, heavy loads - a small load would not even be a challenge worthy of his time. Very task oriented. The third engine is old and tired and convinced of his uselessness. He repeats, "I can not." And will not even try. The engine of course that completes the task is the one that is small but says, "I think I can...."

I have always focused on the winning engine's positive thoughts and willingness to try. But today, God nudged me to look a little harder at the other engines.
Here's what he said, "Are you ever too full of yourself or too task oriented or too tired to do what I have called you to do?"
My response, "God, that's not comfortable to discuss with you in the middle of storytime."
God, "Are you ever too full of yourself or too task oriented or too tired to do what I have called you to do?"
Me, "OUCH!!!!!"
God, "What was the secret to the little engine's success?"
Me, "positive thinking and a willingness to try."
God, "Surrender and obedience to be used in the opportunity at hand even when others found it unimportant and insignificant."
Me, "What are you talking about? Is there an opportunity I'm missing? Is there a particular situation that I need to be more aware of?" (Now He's got my full attention while the students are crawling around aimlessly on the carpet wondering why I stopped in the middle of the story)

God, -----nothing------silence-------crickets chirping-----

So I don't know where God was headed with that conversation, but I don't want to miss anything on this exciting adventure.

Surrender All

Last night our band from The Crossroads got together to practice for our launch service on Sept. 7. The worship set this time starts off with a really alternative, grungy guitar thing and frankly, I was not sure we could pull it off. In fact, I had the music for plan B with me just in case. We were trying this particular song just because the preacher wanted us too. I even rolled my eyes at him when he suggested it. That's my level of faith - right there - eye rolling at the preacher.

So we listened to the CD a couple of times and then the electric guitar kid takes off with the intro and the other guitar guys found their grooves and the organ sound that worship dude made me attempt on the keyboard slid into the gaps and WOW! One of those musical quantum leaps occurred. Suddenly the band was doing stuff that made no logical sense and could only be explained by God. At one point late in the worship set I very literally had an almost out-of body experience. I was playing the keys and watching my left hand cross over my right hand and play some cool thing up in the high register. I remember thinking - where is that hand going - what are those notes- this is really a little weird? I don't know what God has in store for The Crossroads, but He sure is taking care of the music and doing stuff that should be impossible for a new band to do.

On the way to school today, I was listening to the worship set on CD to try to learn some of the stuff that we didn't practice. I had such a strong sense of God's presence there in my car. He has been fairly silent with me for some time (probably because of my rebellion and refusal to surrender fully), but today He spoke again. As I was praying for the block party and the preview service, I had such a strong sense of the hugeness of what we are doing. God showed me that he is doing the loaves and fishes thing with us. In many ways - there's food in my freezer, my crockpot seems bottomless when company arrives, we have a new band that is doing incredible things, and a church plant that is about to launch. Today God showed me the scope of the future of that plant. I am so overwhelmed and humbled that my life gets to be intertwined with this great and mighty venture.
Then on a much more personal note, I began to beg God to free me from some stuff in my life that is keeping me from being fully surrendered to Him. That's when He spoke. (Not out loud, though I did look at the passenger seat just to make sure, it was that clear in my head.) "My beautiful, beautiful baby, when will you understand that I have made you weak so that I can be your strength! I LOVE YOU!" I did not like that answer. I want to be set free, but I loved that God finally explained why I am not free. There in that moment on Mantua Road this morning, I gave up fighting and rebelling (at least for today) and surrendered all. I had to spend some time in the car pulling myself back together again to be able to go to work today. God is doing great things and I am amazed that he is willing to use me. I can't wait to see the rest of the adventure. Who wants to come along for the ride?