Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Two years and counting in the church plant, and I still love serving at The Crossroads. The first year was exciting. Everything was brand new, we were just getting off the ground. The hardest part of the first year was the labor intensive set up and tear down every weekend with a small team of workers. The second year has been intense in other ways. While the set up and take down is significantly easier at the elementary school, other challenges have arisen. We have dealt with a lot of pain this year, whether broken marriages, difficulty raising kids, or relationship problems with other adults. I have many times wished that I had experience as a counselor and much greater wisdom than I currently possess. The second year has been more exhausting as we try to lead multiple journey groups and create meaningful relationships with new people, all while maintaining a strong marriage and raising 4 kids. The time that we put into the church plant is much greater than it was the first year.
But every Sunday morning when I step up onto the stage, I am grateful for every late night, every early morning, and every weekend dedicated to ministry. When I stand on the stage and watch our people worship, I am awed that I get to be a part of changing lives. It is exciting and rewarding. I love that God has done bigger and better things at The Crossroads than I imagined. My dreams were awesome, but God is bigger than my dreams!
Shawn brought it today as he preached his second sermon in the "God at the Movies" series. He preached about choices, using the movie "Twilight:Eclipse". He talked about the importance of making wise choices based on things like unselfish love and eternal value. He also talked about the importance of recognizing that Christ is the ultimate love of your life. You cannot find complete fulfillment in another being - even a vampire.
Tonight marks the close my busiest summer on record. I am disappointed that I did not have more time with my family, but the money from teaching summer school has definitely come in handy. I had a long list of goals to accomplish, that never happened - learning to play blues, learning to play the guitar, upping my mileage on my runs, writing a couple of Bible studies, painting the living room ..... Nevertheless, school is here, ready or not. I have to get my mind in gear and get prepped for my 22 students! I'd appreciate your prayers as we face a new year, still commuting. Pray that I would use that time wisely to pray with my children and grow them spiritually, to listen to their hearts, and to love them beyond their highest expectations. I would also appreciate your prayers as I go to see a neurologist on Thursday about the nasty bad migraines. I am hopeful that we will find relief, and my life will greatly improve!
I appreciate my readers who make this post a regular stop on their Monday morning. I know that you are busy people with big things to accomplish. However, I am deeply moved that you choose to read my rambling randomness and pray for our family and our ministry. Thank you!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Back to School
Today I officially registered for classes as a graduate student at Dallas Baptist University. I am excited to finally be moving forward after spending nearly 2 years waiting on God to point me in the right direction. I will be pursuing a MAWL - funny degree for a girl who doesn't even like to shop. (sorry, couldn't resist)
MAWL = Master of Arts in Worship Leadership, with a concentration in media/journalism. Let's just dispel all of the rumors up front. This is not a singing, lead the band, and direct the choir kind of degree, but a writing, publicity, media, public relations type of degree. I have no idea exactly how I am going to use it in the future, but I decided that I will worry about that when the time comes. Going part time, I will have plenty of years to decide what type of career I might be interested in pursuing.
I have appreciated the dean of the department, Dr. Brooks, walking me through each step of this process. I met him at the National Worship Leader Conference, but I didn't realize he was the dean of the Worship Leadership department. When my application came across his desk, he remembered me, called me up to touch base, and since then has worked hard to make sure that my return to school goes smoothly.
I am nervous about doing well in school. It has been a long time since I was a student, and my brain doesn't function quite as well as it once did. I am also nervous about financial stuff. My financial aid application is on hold because I am missing a college transcript from a school where I took one correspondence class back in 1993. (For my younger readers, this is how we took classes at other universities before the internet. The instructor mailed us questions, we wrote down the answers and mailed them back. In an envelope. With stamps. At the post office.) I am hoping to have all my paperwork in place within the next few days. I had to make a huge downpayment today....don't know where the rest is coming from.
However, I am certain that God has a plan. I would appreciate your prayers as I prep for a new school year with a new team, work diligently alongside my husband in the church plant, parent four kids, and now go back to school. I want to make sure that I use my time wisely, that I don't have a lot of regrets about how I spend the hours of the day this next year. I tend to be scattered, and I need to find focus. So here I go, both arms up, ready for the roller coaster ride of my life!
MAWL = Master of Arts in Worship Leadership, with a concentration in media/journalism. Let's just dispel all of the rumors up front. This is not a singing, lead the band, and direct the choir kind of degree, but a writing, publicity, media, public relations type of degree. I have no idea exactly how I am going to use it in the future, but I decided that I will worry about that when the time comes. Going part time, I will have plenty of years to decide what type of career I might be interested in pursuing.
I have appreciated the dean of the department, Dr. Brooks, walking me through each step of this process. I met him at the National Worship Leader Conference, but I didn't realize he was the dean of the Worship Leadership department. When my application came across his desk, he remembered me, called me up to touch base, and since then has worked hard to make sure that my return to school goes smoothly.
I am nervous about doing well in school. It has been a long time since I was a student, and my brain doesn't function quite as well as it once did. I am also nervous about financial stuff. My financial aid application is on hold because I am missing a college transcript from a school where I took one correspondence class back in 1993. (For my younger readers, this is how we took classes at other universities before the internet. The instructor mailed us questions, we wrote down the answers and mailed them back. In an envelope. With stamps. At the post office.) I am hoping to have all my paperwork in place within the next few days. I had to make a huge downpayment today....don't know where the rest is coming from.
However, I am certain that God has a plan. I would appreciate your prayers as I prep for a new school year with a new team, work diligently alongside my husband in the church plant, parent four kids, and now go back to school. I want to make sure that I use my time wisely, that I don't have a lot of regrets about how I spend the hours of the day this next year. I tend to be scattered, and I need to find focus. So here I go, both arms up, ready for the roller coaster ride of my life!
Monday, August 9, 2010
I like wrinkles and gray hair, too
I like my husband's snoring. Wrote about that in the last post. But there are other strange things that I really like about my husband. The list is quite longer than any of you want to read, but here are two of my favorites.
Wrinkles. Shawn has fewer than I do, but he does have some. I love to catch him when he's watching tv and check out the lines that have started forming on his face.
The beautiful thing is that he is getting laugh lines around his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. This is beautiful because it means we laugh a lot in our home. Our voices are almost never raised in anger, and overwhelming joy is prevalent more days than not. As I see those laugh lines forming, I know that the kids and I have had a large part of making those fun memories with him.
My other favorite thing is his graying hair. He hates it and has been known to sneak down the just for men aisle and look longingly at hair dye. But for me the gray hair reminds me of all the water under the bridge. I am reminded that while we once were children watching Saturday morning cartoons together, we are now adults facing down teenagers together. (thus the gray)
In the gray, I see forever. It reminds me of how long we have been together, and that we still have a lifetime left to share. It reminds me that we've stuck it through some tough times together, endured great loss and pain, and come out okay on the other side.
I guess the wrinkles and gray hair bring back good memories from our past, but they also reminds me that we can face whatever the future holds. I know that even tough times can lead to joy if you just hang in there long enough.
That's it - that's what I see in the wrinkles and gray hair - victory. We've fought some tough issues and come out still on the same team. That's why those are two of my favorite things.
Wrinkles. Shawn has fewer than I do, but he does have some. I love to catch him when he's watching tv and check out the lines that have started forming on his face.
The beautiful thing is that he is getting laugh lines around his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. This is beautiful because it means we laugh a lot in our home. Our voices are almost never raised in anger, and overwhelming joy is prevalent more days than not. As I see those laugh lines forming, I know that the kids and I have had a large part of making those fun memories with him.
My other favorite thing is his graying hair. He hates it and has been known to sneak down the just for men aisle and look longingly at hair dye. But for me the gray hair reminds me of all the water under the bridge. I am reminded that while we once were children watching Saturday morning cartoons together, we are now adults facing down teenagers together. (thus the gray)
In the gray, I see forever. It reminds me of how long we have been together, and that we still have a lifetime left to share. It reminds me that we've stuck it through some tough times together, endured great loss and pain, and come out okay on the other side.
I guess the wrinkles and gray hair bring back good memories from our past, but they also reminds me that we can face whatever the future holds. I know that even tough times can lead to joy if you just hang in there long enough.
That's it - that's what I see in the wrinkles and gray hair - victory. We've fought some tough issues and come out still on the same team. That's why those are two of my favorite things.
I love a good snore
As I lie awake late tonight, unable to sleep, I am reminded how blessed I truly am. Next to me, snuggled up under our old worn out comforter, is a giant snoring lump of man.
I know lots of women complain about their husband's snoring, but it is one of my favorite things. There is something beautiful about being awake late at night and hearing Shawn's contented snoring. For me it is the sound of happiness.
When Shawn isn't snoring, it means he isn't sleeping. He rarely struggles with insomnia, so if he's not sleeping there's a crisis. When I hear that chainsaw buzzing sound in my bed at night, it's a sound of security. It means that my husband went to bed a happy man.
For me, it is a reminder that God has richly blessed me with family. I have heard many great love stories over the years, but I don't know that many rival my own. I am grateful that God has given this to me.
That's what I hear tonight as I listen to the rumbling in my bed. I hear that I am blessed.
I know lots of women complain about their husband's snoring, but it is one of my favorite things. There is something beautiful about being awake late at night and hearing Shawn's contented snoring. For me it is the sound of happiness.
When Shawn isn't snoring, it means he isn't sleeping. He rarely struggles with insomnia, so if he's not sleeping there's a crisis. When I hear that chainsaw buzzing sound in my bed at night, it's a sound of security. It means that my husband went to bed a happy man.
For me, it is a reminder that God has richly blessed me with family. I have heard many great love stories over the years, but I don't know that many rival my own. I am grateful that God has given this to me.
That's what I hear tonight as I listen to the rumbling in my bed. I hear that I am blessed.
Monday Morning Update 8-9-10 (postscript)
I had the sudden brilliant idea to go to a Sunday night service. Lots of churches still have those! I could slip in, worship, meet with God, and be ready to face a new week. I looked online to see where I could attend, and decided that I would really like to try The Village, where Matt Chandler pastors. It is an hour's drive to Denton, but off I went. I had the idea to go at 3:44, I was sitting in worship at 5:00.
I could talk about the technical aspects of their service, discussing what could be improved, and also what could help take our services at The Crossroads to another level. However, since the original update focused on my heart, I think it is fitting that the postscript does as well.
The worship band played one song, "The Wondrous Cross." I was just beginning to worship, but then we sat down and the sermon began to play on the screen. I was surprised and very disappointed that I didn't get to really release in worship. But God knew what my heart needed to hear. Matt Chandler spoke from Col. 4:2-4. He talked about prayer and about obstacles to praying. He talked at great length about spiritual warfare and about being alert. He reminded us to live like we are at war against evil, and to not be lulled into sleepy apathy. I also loved his statement that God is not waiting for us to be good enough to love us. He loves us today, right where we are. There was lots of great stuff in his message that just washed over me and filled up my hungry soul.
Then after the message, the band came back on stage and played about 5 more songs. It was a great opportunity to worship with a full and grateful heart after the message. I don't know that I have ever done a worship set after the message before, but it was amazing. I had heard from God and was ready to lift up some praise. Instead of the music making me ready to hear from God, hearing from God made me ready to worship with music. I especially enjoyed the opportunity to take communion. I needed that moment to remember what Christ has done - that his righteousness now covers my sin.
As a staff member who is always involved in ministry, I would highly recommend to other ministers finding a service occasionally where you don't have to carry any responsibility so that you can be still and hear from God. I love being active in my church. I love ministering to others. I am very thankful that God uses me. But it was amazing to be invisible, and to be refilled and refreshed. Not only did I come away with new ideas that we might be able to use, but I came away ready to face down the dragons. I am ready to face the work week, and I am ready to pour out my life again in ministry. It was a great end to a rough day.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Summer Vacation
Another summer vacation has ended, all too soon. I enjoyed an unplugged week of relaxation in Missouri. The cabin at The Brook of Bethpage was incredible. I am excited that several couples in Southern Missouri saw the need for a free respite for pastors and worked together to create this beautiful retreat. I read through the stories in the guest book in our cabin and was moved to tears. So many pastors and their wives have slept in that gorgeous cabin, desperately seeking God's face after terrible hurt and burnout in the ministry. Many of them left renewed and refreshed. What an incredible ministry! I am touched that people saw the need to minister to pastors in such a practical way!
The retreat was created for pastors to be able to spend hours in quiet reflection and meditation. While it would be a perfect place to go as a couple to seek God's face, especially when facing a big decision, or even alone to be able to just sit and write, it was a little boring for the kids. They enjoyed reading, watching some movies, and swimming in the pool. However, we were in the middle of poison ivy season, so we were unable to do any hiking.
We drove the hour and a half over to Branson one day, did a little school shopping and watched the Noah's Ark Musical. Our four year old, Abby, loved the musical. She was excited to see the animals and hear the story of Noah. She was curious about why God was living in the big flashlights. (The spotlights were used to represent God speaking to Noah.) The older kids tolerated the show, but it was a little over dramatic for them. They have some hysterically funny impressions of the actors, however. (No offense if any of them are your relatives or friends)
Thursday was probably the kids' favorite day. We found a river a short drive from the cabin and took them swimming in the icy cold water. If we ever have the opportunity to return to the cabin, now we know where to find better hiking and outdoor activities. It was a beautiful state park, with great fishing and hiking.
I would say that Thursday was my favorite day as well. Thursday morning I was sitting in a rocking chair on the back porch having my quiet time. I was meditating in Ps. 150, 149, 148, and 147. I don't know why I randomly started reading from the back of Psalms, but as I was reading thunder began to boom in the distance. I continued to read about the God who forms the rain clouds and waters the thirsty earth as clouds rolled across the valley. I read about the God who controls the lightening as it began to flash over the hills in the distance. As the drops of rain hit the porch roof, I was captivated by the language of the Psalms and began to just sing those words back to my Creator.
Yep, it was probably a cheesy song. Most of you would have laughed at my off key voice belting out the melody over the booming thunder. But I was absolutely in God's presence Thursday morning. I enjoyed the time of worship, just me and God hanging out in the storm. I enjoyed a moment alone, to remember just how mighty a God it is that I serve.
Who blankets the heavens with the clouds
Sends down the rain to the thirsty earth
Who counts all the stars within his hands
Fixes their number and gives them names
Our God is great with mighty power
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise
Let the music begin
praise his name
Open up your mouth
give him thanks
Sing praises to the eternal one
Our Lord is great
Let's give Him praise
He binds our wounds and heals our hearts
Hears our cries and brings us peace
He raises us up and gives us strength
The Eternal One is listening
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise.
I would say that one of the other highlights of vacation was starting devotionals with our kids. We spent time every night around the dinner table talking about a Scripture and taking turns praying for each other. I loved hearing the kids' ideas and thoughts and prayers. My other favorite thing was visiting with my cousin today. It is good to rediscover family after many years of being away from home.
I am excited about what's next for The Crossroads and what's next for our family. I know that life is about to hit us hard and fast, but I am thankful to have had a week to catch my breath before the race begins. I am praying that God will use me this year in ways bigger than I can imagine for His glory and his kingdom. I am praying that our family will be guarded from evil and that we will find the time to create memories, laugh, and love each other.
The retreat was created for pastors to be able to spend hours in quiet reflection and meditation. While it would be a perfect place to go as a couple to seek God's face, especially when facing a big decision, or even alone to be able to just sit and write, it was a little boring for the kids. They enjoyed reading, watching some movies, and swimming in the pool. However, we were in the middle of poison ivy season, so we were unable to do any hiking.
We drove the hour and a half over to Branson one day, did a little school shopping and watched the Noah's Ark Musical. Our four year old, Abby, loved the musical. She was excited to see the animals and hear the story of Noah. She was curious about why God was living in the big flashlights. (The spotlights were used to represent God speaking to Noah.) The older kids tolerated the show, but it was a little over dramatic for them. They have some hysterically funny impressions of the actors, however. (No offense if any of them are your relatives or friends)
Thursday was probably the kids' favorite day. We found a river a short drive from the cabin and took them swimming in the icy cold water. If we ever have the opportunity to return to the cabin, now we know where to find better hiking and outdoor activities. It was a beautiful state park, with great fishing and hiking.
I would say that Thursday was my favorite day as well. Thursday morning I was sitting in a rocking chair on the back porch having my quiet time. I was meditating in Ps. 150, 149, 148, and 147. I don't know why I randomly started reading from the back of Psalms, but as I was reading thunder began to boom in the distance. I continued to read about the God who forms the rain clouds and waters the thirsty earth as clouds rolled across the valley. I read about the God who controls the lightening as it began to flash over the hills in the distance. As the drops of rain hit the porch roof, I was captivated by the language of the Psalms and began to just sing those words back to my Creator.
Yep, it was probably a cheesy song. Most of you would have laughed at my off key voice belting out the melody over the booming thunder. But I was absolutely in God's presence Thursday morning. I enjoyed the time of worship, just me and God hanging out in the storm. I enjoyed a moment alone, to remember just how mighty a God it is that I serve.
Who blankets the heavens with the clouds
Sends down the rain to the thirsty earth
Who counts all the stars within his hands
Fixes their number and gives them names
Our God is great with mighty power
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise
Let the music begin
praise his name
Open up your mouth
give him thanks
Sing praises to the eternal one
Our Lord is great
Let's give Him praise
He binds our wounds and heals our hearts
Hears our cries and brings us peace
He raises us up and gives us strength
The Eternal One is listening
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise.
I would say that one of the other highlights of vacation was starting devotionals with our kids. We spent time every night around the dinner table talking about a Scripture and taking turns praying for each other. I loved hearing the kids' ideas and thoughts and prayers. My other favorite thing was visiting with my cousin today. It is good to rediscover family after many years of being away from home.
I am excited about what's next for The Crossroads and what's next for our family. I know that life is about to hit us hard and fast, but I am thankful to have had a week to catch my breath before the race begins. I am praying that God will use me this year in ways bigger than I can imagine for His glory and his kingdom. I am praying that our family will be guarded from evil and that we will find the time to create memories, laugh, and love each other.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Why Vacation?
Until recently I have never questioned the tradition of a summer vacation. Since I was a child, my family always took off a week or two and headed out on the open road. We primarily took destination vacations - seeing lots of sights and spending tons of hours on the road. As adults, Shawn and I have continued that tradition. We have taken the kids to Disney World and Disney Land. We have seen the Grand Canyon and the Sequoia National Forest. We have been to Sea World and multiple destinations in Arkansas, our home state.
This year, with finances a little tighter than usual and much to do with our home, school, and the church plant, I questioned that tradition of the family vacation pretty hard. Is it really that necessary for our survival as a family? I think that answer may vary from family to family, but I think for us, that answer is "YES!"
A few years ago we stopped doing the majorly busy, go, go, go vacation. A slower economy, a bigger family, and a smaller salary forced us to rethink how we vacationed. The turning point for us was 2006, the year Abby was born. Under great duress, we felt that we needed time away from the ministry, but Abby was too little to travel far. We rented an inexpensive Condo in Hot Springs, Arkansas, for a week. Our only agenda was to eat ice cream every day and go swimming. It was the best vacation of our lives. We relaxed, there was no rushing, no early mornings, no stress. I could sit and feed the baby without feeling like I was holding up the rest of the family. We returned to what was a difficult time in our ministry refreshed, renewed, and enabled to continue for another season.
Since that time we have stayed in a cabin in the Ozark mountains, road tripped to California with family, and camped in a variety of beautiful locations in Arkansas. We have amazing memories of lazily laying in cold mountain rivers and letting the water rush over us. We have great stories about the crazy stuff that happens to us when we are camping. We have spent many late nights roasting marshmallows over the campfire and laughing at our feeble attempts at ghost stories. We have hiked amazing trails to beautiful locations, using the opportunity to show our children the beauty of God's creation. We have invested long days and late nights into loving our kids and just being with them, without any distractions. Our kids love to tell our vacation stories, creating a sense of tradition for them. A tradition of magically beautiful moments.
This summer it would have been easy to stay home. We had originally planned a massive roadtrip across the West to Yellowstone, but our schedule didn't work out for the extended time away from home this year. With only two weeks left before I start back to work, I have tons to do here at the house, and many reasons why it would be more practical to just stay home.
However, I know from experience that on August 23, our lives will crank up to an entirely new level of crazy chaos with sports, school, fall church events and small group launchings. I know that I will not have a single extra minute to breathe for the next several months. So that is what this next week will be. An opportunity to breathe. We are staying in a cabin in Southern Missouri. We plan to swim, hike, lay in hammocks, read, strum the guitar, and play board games. It sounds boring - no amusement parks, no shopping trips - but it is an opportunity for our family to just breathe. It allows us to regroup, recharge, and return to ministry with the energy and focus that is necessary for success. It is possible for us to pour out our lives for others when we have spent time as a family getting filled up. We will spend this week doing lots of laughing, but we will also spend time praying together, reading God's word together, reflecting on the year past, and looking forward to the future. This week is one week that is just about us and our family and our God. I can't wait!
This year, with finances a little tighter than usual and much to do with our home, school, and the church plant, I questioned that tradition of the family vacation pretty hard. Is it really that necessary for our survival as a family? I think that answer may vary from family to family, but I think for us, that answer is "YES!"
A few years ago we stopped doing the majorly busy, go, go, go vacation. A slower economy, a bigger family, and a smaller salary forced us to rethink how we vacationed. The turning point for us was 2006, the year Abby was born. Under great duress, we felt that we needed time away from the ministry, but Abby was too little to travel far. We rented an inexpensive Condo in Hot Springs, Arkansas, for a week. Our only agenda was to eat ice cream every day and go swimming. It was the best vacation of our lives. We relaxed, there was no rushing, no early mornings, no stress. I could sit and feed the baby without feeling like I was holding up the rest of the family. We returned to what was a difficult time in our ministry refreshed, renewed, and enabled to continue for another season.
Since that time we have stayed in a cabin in the Ozark mountains, road tripped to California with family, and camped in a variety of beautiful locations in Arkansas. We have amazing memories of lazily laying in cold mountain rivers and letting the water rush over us. We have great stories about the crazy stuff that happens to us when we are camping. We have spent many late nights roasting marshmallows over the campfire and laughing at our feeble attempts at ghost stories. We have hiked amazing trails to beautiful locations, using the opportunity to show our children the beauty of God's creation. We have invested long days and late nights into loving our kids and just being with them, without any distractions. Our kids love to tell our vacation stories, creating a sense of tradition for them. A tradition of magically beautiful moments.
This summer it would have been easy to stay home. We had originally planned a massive roadtrip across the West to Yellowstone, but our schedule didn't work out for the extended time away from home this year. With only two weeks left before I start back to work, I have tons to do here at the house, and many reasons why it would be more practical to just stay home.
However, I know from experience that on August 23, our lives will crank up to an entirely new level of crazy chaos with sports, school, fall church events and small group launchings. I know that I will not have a single extra minute to breathe for the next several months. So that is what this next week will be. An opportunity to breathe. We are staying in a cabin in Southern Missouri. We plan to swim, hike, lay in hammocks, read, strum the guitar, and play board games. It sounds boring - no amusement parks, no shopping trips - but it is an opportunity for our family to just breathe. It allows us to regroup, recharge, and return to ministry with the energy and focus that is necessary for success. It is possible for us to pour out our lives for others when we have spent time as a family getting filled up. We will spend this week doing lots of laughing, but we will also spend time praying together, reading God's word together, reflecting on the year past, and looking forward to the future. This week is one week that is just about us and our family and our God. I can't wait!
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