37 and counting

37. Wow. I remember as a kid when my parents turned 37. I thought they were ANCIENT. Now here I am, quickly approaching 40. The day passed me by with very little fanfare. December is a busy month in the ministry, and Sunday is the busiest day of our week. Even though we missed out on our typical big family dinner and celebration because of our hectic schedule today, it was still a beautiful birthday.

I spent today doing on of my favorite things- helping to lead worship at The Crossroads. Every week I am amazed by how God is growing the musicians in the band. They just keep improving! I pulled out a couple of pretty tough selections last night at practice, with a plan B in the back of my head just in case. But instead, they nailed both new songs! But the coolest part of today wasn't how well the band did, but how involved the congregation was. There was this one moment during worship where I could hear all this beautiful singing, but it wasn't coming from my monitor. That's when I realized that I could hear the congregation loud and clear over the vocalists in my speaker on stage. I can still remember a time early in our church plant when our congregation was very uncomfortable with singing, and it is cool to see that they have come to embrace worship.

This afternoon we went to our teen girls' band concert. The beginning band did very well, especially considering most of them had never played an instrument until just a few months ago. I admit that the squeaks and honks that naturally happen in beginning band concerts kind of crack me up. The symphonic band was truly very good. I was impressed by how far they have come since the last time I heard them play.

Then this evening was spent at one last meeting for Operation Care. My team tried to make sure that we have everything ready for the big day and to see what still needs to be done. God has certainly blessed us with the right contacts. I am amazed to look at all the full slots for the outdoor stage which were empty slots two weeks ago.

Shawn and I finished out the night with dinner at Carraba's. I enjoyed the good Italian food, and ate way too much. I am excited to have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

So there it is - my 37th birthday, low key, but pretty awesome.

Coming Home

Three years. Three long years of a house on the market. Three years of riding my kids and family to maintain perfection. Three years of commuting to work, staying in my classroom for long, late hours while we waited on the teens to finish their sports and other extracurricular activities. After 3 long years, the house finally sold. We moved two big Uhauls of junk, plus many assorted vans, trucks, and suburbans loaded to the brim. I am sure that has to be sin that I have so much junk!

God blessed us with an amazing home in Anna. Paying more than we had anticipated, when we went to finance the larger amount of money, the interest rates were at a historic low - so the payment is less each month. The floor plan is perfect for our family. The kitchen has many of the features Shawn wanted, the girls have walk-in closets, James gets a bedroom with a door AND a closet, and I get not one - but two - window seats.

While I expected to experience a relief of stress and a sense of rest when we moved, I was surprised by the overwhelming sense of coming home. I knew it would be a relief to be able to leave a pile of clean laundry on the couch, or a single dirty cup in the sink if the dishwasher happened to be full. But I did not fully realize the extent to which we have moved our lives to Anna in the last three years, so much so that finally living here provides a sense of belonging that I can only explain as "coming home". My children are already hanging out with friends, we are entertaining in our home, and enjoying shopping at the local grocery store.

I am looking forward to what feels like a new era in our ministry at The Crossroads. A great moment where God can use our home to further the ministry of The Crossroads. A moment in time where we can live among our people and see God at work in our city. Change is in the wind. I see big things ahead for The Crossroads. Get ready for the ride!

Anna here we come!

3 years ago, we began trying to sell our home in Sherman, Texas in order to move to Anna where we were going to plant a church. This week, we finally had an offer on our home. I am a nervous wreck about the 14 day option period where the buyers get an inspection and have the chance to back out. The great news is that they plan to pay cash in full, so we don't have to worry about their financing falling through. In faith, we have started packing in preparation to move to Anna.

Today Shawn and I picked out a house we liked in the Westfield neighborhood. It was ideal for our family, even to one of the kid's bedrooms having a very large closet for my little girls who share a room. We looked at several homes, but this was really the only one close to our price range that had the space we need to host journey groups and generally use our home for ministry. We submitted an offer today and are waiting to hear back from the seller. Our financing has been approved and so now we simply wait.

I cannot begin to say how excited I am about being close to work. I can't even fathom going home between work and James's football games. Feeding my kids supper in our own kitchen instead of sandwiches in my classroom on game night will be great! Having the opportunity to host a journey group in our home makes me giddy excited. Shawn and I are already discussing doing an intensive care marriage group in the fall. We are trying to decide whether to call it Firey Friday Nights or Smokin hot Saturdays. I love the idea of being able to finally have friends over for dinner, and being able to open my home up to my kids' friends! I am also anxious to be able to invite the other area ministers and wives into my home for coffee and prayer for our city.

But whether this all goes through this time or not, I have been greatly blessed in the last 24 hours just by the response from our people. Typically in a church, the honeymoon period lasts 18 months -2 years. After that, the congregation may still love you, but the excitement has dimmed. Instead, our people are more excited now than they were three years ago. Their overwhelming desire to have us in their neighborhoods has touched my heart. I am blessed that God placed us into a situation where we are greatly loved. While I am nervous and apprehensive about the sale of our home, and buying another, I am grateful today that we are blessed to serve in an awesome community with amazing people!

An Unsold House

Our house has been on the market for nearly three years. We have remodeled and dropped the price repeatedly. My kids have had their stuff in boxes in the attic for so long we no longer remember what we even own. In spite of our best efforts, we are still in this same house. We have cycled through many seasons of discouragement and disappointment. Recently I have remembered 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

Thankful, in all things. Well, hmmm....that's not always my strong point. Why could I be thankful that my house hasn't sold and we continue to live in Anna, but sleep in Sherman? Well, let's dig a little deeper -

1. 3 years of commuting helps me to understand clearly the issues our congregation of commuters is dealing with. The lack of time with the family, the strain on the marriage, the rush to get homework finished, the exhaustion that engulfs you. Living through this helps me to understand the pressure that our people are under and offer them understanding and love.

2. I have spent many hours trapped in the car with my children. These hours are usually spent laughing and talking. I would say that because of commuting my children are forced to spend a greater amount of time communicating with me, which has been critical in these early teen years.

3. Our people are learning to practice hospitality. This summer while we were displaced between Sunday morning and Sunday night services different families hosted us in their homes for lunch and let us hang out. Even now various families are making arrangements in their homes so that in the fall we can have a place to sleep after late night football games, or when we have a late counseling session, or if we need a place to hang out in the afternoon while the kids are at practices. As a result, we are getting to know and love these families on a whole new level. I am certain that God is going to pour out blessings on them. After all, hospitality is one of his primary gifts (I go to prepare a place for you....).

There are other positive things I can say about still living in our house - things like the band has a place to practice, we have room to entertain large crowds, we have room to have a long term guest, and a great place to go running.

I am desperate for my house to sell so that I can live locally in Anna. Commuting is tough, and I definitely dread it this fall. However, I want to focus on the good things that have come from this experience and be patient as I wait on God's timing for the sale.

Beautiful Worship

I am finally home after a week in Kansas City at the National Worship Leader Conference. At the last minute, we had an extra ticket that we couldn't get refunded that was going to be wasted, so my thirteen year old daughter agreed to attend with me. She primarily went out of concern for my safety. I have complex migraines, so she was worried that I might have problems while traveling alone.

Even though she attended out of concern, God simply poured out his blessing and presence in our lives last week. Some of you readers know the back story on Grace. This last fall she was struggling pretty hard with depression. Her mind was confused, her soul despaired, and she felt hopeless. When she reached the point that she felt life was unbearable, God showed her hope for her future.

The first night of worship at the concert, my daughter stood beside me in her well worn Mexico mission T-shirt while a bilingual group sang on stage. We worshiped through familiar songs in English, and then in Spanish. I watched her lift her hands in abandon as she sang along in English and broken Spanish. As I drank in the beautiful moment of worship, I was extremely grateful for second chances. I was glad that God had given my daughter hope, and that our week of worship began with a reminder of the country she loves. I guess I fully realized the greatness of God's work in her life this year. God took her confusion and replaced it with passion; he took her despair and replaced it with faith; and he took her hopelessness and replaced it with purpose.

As I looked back at what was probably one of the toughest years our family has faced, I see how God was faithful. He provided, he comforted, he healed, he redeemed, he forgave, he strengthened, he rescued, and he restored. I was reminded in that beautiful moment of worship of the stunning glory of our God, his character, and his love. He is good.

18 ways to stay married 18 years

Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.

1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.

2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.

3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.

4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.

5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.

6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.

7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.

8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.

9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.

10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.

11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.

12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!

13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.

14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.

15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.

16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.

17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.

18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.

18 ways to stay married 18 years

Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.

1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.

2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.

3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.

4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.

5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.

6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.

7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.

8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.

9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.

10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.

11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.

12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!

13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.

14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.

15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.

16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.

17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.

18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.

What's Up with The Kemps?

It's been a busy season in our lives. I have had many thoughts about writing over the past month, but it seems that exhaustion wins out over the words. I am certainly looking forward to summer break! While I have a bit of time tonight, I'm going to catch up to the present moment, so that my readers at least have an idea of what's up with the Kemps.

Work

I am thrilled to only have 10 more days of school left. This particular group of first graders has been a little unique. Typically I have a high percentage of children who seemingly were born reading. This year my students have had to work hard to get to the magic level 16 text that is required by the end of first grade. I am excited that almost all of my students have far exceeded these expectations. I have seen students move mountains this year in order to read.

I have experimented a great deal this year with new teaching strategies. It seems that children are struggling more with memory loss and attention issues than I have seen in the past. The kids rarely retain anything that is taught in a whole group setting, and little taught in small groups. They have needed more individualized instruction than ever before. I have brought in tons of hands on, kinesthetic approaches. We have sang, clapped, cheered, jumped, hopped, and written our own songs, stories, and poems to remember stuff. I leave work everyday completely spent. However, in the end, the hard work has paid off. Every one of my students now reads well enough to be successful in second grade. I am still hopeful that someday God will lead me into a different career, but in the meantime I am attempting to be faithful where I am. There is definitely something to be said for having a job in tough economic times. I am certainly grateful that I have a means of providing for my family.

Family

Abby turned 5 last week. It seems like such a short time ago I was laying on my couch praying for her safety through long months of bedrest. She had a fabulous birthday. Shawn's mom and my dad and stepmom came out for her party. I was surprised that she wanted to have an exclusively family party. I expected her to want to invite everyone she knew. I finally realized that by not inviting friends, she was guaranteed all the undivided attention of her family. I guess that's pretty awesome for a 5 year old.

Grace enjoyed her theatrical production of 'The Wizard of Oz." She played a variety of supporting roles: a poppy, munchkin, oz citizen, tree, monkey, and crow. Her main night she played the role of the coroner, with a short solo. She was excited to stay on key for the entire performance. The grandparents were also able to attend the play. It meant a great deal to have family at her event.

Katie is working on her solo for the talent show. She plans to sing Addison Road's song, "What do I know of Holy." I am looking forward to her performance on Friday. She is staying busy loving on Abby and playing hard.

James is patiently waiting on a neurology appointment at Children's. Well, patiently may not be the right word. James had some complications with a migraine headache last week, and the doctor pulled him from athletics until he is able to see a specialist. His coaches are more than ready for him to be back in the swing of things. We are currently reviewing his schedule for his freshman year of high school. How can my baby boy be headed to high school in the fall? It seems strange that he is nearly grown. His 8th grade graduation is next week!

Shawn is working like a dog trying to balance two jobs. I admire his commitment to our family so very much. He is determined to do what is best for the church plant financially, and so he will be returning to his position of teacher's aide again in the fall. I know that right now it is pretty tough to be at work ready to work with kids by 7:15 and then still be working hard at church stuff late into the night. But he maintains a positive attitude, grateful that God has blessed him with the ability to work with me, to be involved with the families in the community, and to be in a position to minister to the teachers.

So how about me? I am missing my workouts! Over spring break, I did some trail running in old shoes. I came home with what is probably plantar fasciitis. This means that I have not been able to run at all. One of the best ways to help those feet heal is to sleep with them in a completely flexed position. Since I am too cheap to go to the doctor, I have used my brilliant Arkansas ingenuity to rig up a way to tie my feet into the correct position at night. I will confess that last night Shawn just couldn't contains the laughter any more, finally busting out with, "That is just too ghetto." Not exercising has added 7 pounds back onto my behind. I will have to get serious soon about returning to the gym! I have been sick for a couple of weeks and as soon as my cold clears up, I'll be ready to hit it hard.

I did well in my second semester of college. This semester I took a class titled, "Spiritual Formation and Worship." I learned much about spiritual discipline, and how lacking my spiritual growth tends to be. I enjoyed getting to research the discipline of worship, learning more about what it means to offer up praise and how God inhabits the praises of his people. I learned about praise being sacrificial, and about how to be thankful in all things. It was an amazing journey. This summer I will be continuing to work on my degree, taking "Christian History and Heritage." The title of this class seems a bit daunting. Then I have one more theology class left to take in the fall before I dive full fledged into my worship media concentration. I get crazy with excitement whenever I think about getting to study something about which I am so passionate.

Ministry

Last week our church participated in an awesome ministry opportunity. We had the chance to completely furnish a transitional apartment for a single mom and her 3 kids. I loved getting to hand her the key and show her around her new home. It was amazing to see how everything came together. If you are interested in reading more about this incredible project, check out Shawn's blog: blazingthetrail.blogspot.com.

The other big news at The Crossroads is our relaunch of the youth program. Our youth minister had to step down last year due to work commitments, and God has not yet raised up a replacement. We waited and waited, until finally Shawn and I decided that we would lead the youth. I mean, what's little youth ministry thrown into the rest of our crazy life, right? A small church in town, Calvary Baptist, is renting us their facilities on Sunday night, which has been a super location for working with the youth. The first week we brought in a young band. That was tons of fun. The next week we played games and Shawn talked about guarding your words. Then last week we took the kids to see "Soul Surfer" and eat pizza. I am enjoying getting to know the teens. I am especially looking forward to youth camp this summer! It has been nearly 10 years since I last went to youth camp. How cool will it be to go with my own teens and see God at work? I can't wait.

I hope this fills in some gaps about where I've been, and what God has been doing. I appreciate your prayers as we chase after God and seek to learn to love him more every day.

LaRissa

A new friend for Abby

My youngest daughter, Abby, is a full blown sanguine personality. She loves people, thrives on crowds, and is devastated to spend time alone. Last night her big sister, Katie, was at a sleep over and the rest of the family was watching a grown-up movie. She cried and cried about watching Mulan alone without a friend.

When she woke up this morning, she was devastated to realize that James was sick, Katie was gone, and I had to take Grace to Anna for her trip to Six Flags. She was not happy to be facing a day of alone time.

I returned home today around 3, expecting to be greeted with cheers. Instead I found a stranger sitting in the playroom with Abby cheerfully playing wii. While playing in the yard this morning, Abby met a little neighbor girl and invited her home. Her parents said yes, and the little girl is still at our house nearly 8 hours later. Her dad has been by to check on her, and she's run home for a few minutes off and on, but most of the day she and Abby have been having a ball.

I think it is neat that today, God saw my little sanguine daughter's distress and brought her a new friend.

Happy birthday Katie

My middle daughter, Katie, turned 11 this week. We celebrated with a brief birthday dinner on Wednesday night at Genghis Grill in McKinney. The real fun, however, took place last night. For many years, I planned elaborate parties for my children at which they were generally miserable. I finally figured out a few years ago that going low key and opening up our home is what makes the kids happier.

Katie invited several friends to spend the night, but only two were able to come. Her three things that she desperately wanted to do at her party were: have a water gun fight, bob for apples, and glamorize teddy bears. So that's exactly what we did. As the night progressed I tried hard to freeze frame the moments in my memories. There were many magical moments to process and having a bad memory means that I have to work hard to store information for later.

Early in the afternoon, I stood on our deck and watched the girls spring into the air on the trampoline, squealing as they squirted one another with the water guns. Apparently for preteen girls squealing is their trademark sound. Then the bobbing for apples made me laugh till I cried. The girls finally started sticking their entire bodies into the tub of water to chase down the apples. As they raised up dripping like drowned rats with apples hanging from their teeth, I couldn't stop giggling.

Glamorizing the teddy bears was a much larger project than I anticipated. I spent most of the evening cutting open bears and sewing on tummy patches, paw patches, and large flowers. Imaginations bloomed as they picked out jewels and fabrics. We giggled lots trying to decorate the bears to the girls' satisfaction.

After darkness fell, Shawn built a small fire down by the creek to roast smores. We used the super-sized marshmallows for the smores. The girls couldn't even get the smores into their mouths. The magic of the evening was complete as we laid on the trampoline with sticky faces and fingers watching the trees blow in the wind and the stars twinkle in the distance.

Katie is a beautiful gift to our family. God blessed her with a kind heart and a gentle, loving spirit. It was an amazing treat to get to be a part of her party and hang out with her friends. What a magical night!

Starfield in Concert

I had a great time last night at Dallas Baptist University at the Starfield concert. Having the opportunity to worship with my daughter Grace was a beautiful thing. I enjoyed spending the evening hanging out with her - eating at Chick-Fil-A, doing homework together at the college library, then waiting in line and enjoying the concert. Her heart for worship is amazing. The fun part is that as a drummer, when she gets totally lost in worship she moves from lifted hands to drumming on the seats and stomping on the floor to create funky beats. A more thorough review of the concert itself can be found on my worship blog: larissasworshipthoughts.blogspot.com

Monday Morning Update 2.8.10

Another week gone, as life continues to speed by. Although I will say that this past week life came to an abrupt halt. Texas, the land of eternal summer, seems to be going through an identity crisis. One minute it was a balmy 70+, the next the temperature plummeted into the teens. We received enough sleet and snow last Monday night to cancel school for three days. Then on Friday, the skies dumped another 6 inches, closing every school in the area.

The snow was beautiful. My kids enjoyed grabbing my pizza pan, spraying the bottom with nonstick cooking spray, and taking off down the back slope. James hit a couple of trees, but swears he walked away injury free. Katie and Abby delighted in making their own snow cones - except we didn't have any flavored syrup, so it was just plain snow.

I used the time off to do laundry, clean house, write my first paper of the semester, finish one of the textbooks, and begin my second paper. It sounds much more productive than it really was. In real life it looked like I spent at least three of the four days glued to my iphone trying to beat the game, "Angry Birds." In hindsight, I wish that I had used the time off more wisely to write and save several blog posts, or maybe an article or two, or practice playing my guitar. However, I enjoyed the time of just chilling out and relaxing with the family.

Sunday the weather cleared up enough for us to hold services as usual at The Crossroads. I saw lots of thankful faces in the audience. Everyone was glad to return to civilization after being trapped for many days at home. We had a super morning, followed by a fun evening watching the Super Bowl with friends.

Believe it or not, the weatherman predicts more snow tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday Morning Update - 1.9.11

It's snowing in Texas! A rare event, causing mass chaos and panic. We abbreviated services at The Crossroads today in an attempt to get people home before the bad weather rolled in. By the time we loaded everything back into the big truck and returned it to storage, the roads were a bit slippery. We made it home just fine, after a short trip into the insanity of the grocery store.

The kids had a great time playing in the snow this afternoon. The girls were bundled up in thick sweatshirts, coats, and hats, reminding me of the little boy on The Christmas Story. They took my cookie sheets and experimented with sledding down the hill in the back yard. The snow was a little too slushy for sledding. After an hour or so, Abby came stumbling back into the house crying. Her little hands were red and frozen, a result of discarding her gloves during the sledding experiment. A few minutes later, Katie came in laughing. On her last attempt down the slope, she tumbled face first into the snow. She was in so many layers that she couldn't roll over, finding herself stranded in her precarious position. James finally realized she wasn't pretending and rolled her over so she could stand up.

We spent the rest of the evening sipping hot chocolate and watching movies. I am conflicted, hoping to be off school tomorrow so I can finish up some chores at the house, but knowing that I will not want to have to make up the day later.

I'd appreciate prayers as my new semester of school begins tomorrow. I am only taking one class this semester. Hopefully that will leave me a little more spare time.

Women are Warriors

Warrior - the image that comes to mind is that of a brilliantly painted Native American, astride a proud horse, headed into battle. Or maybe a knight clad in shiny armor, riding away to slay the threatening dragon. However, strange as it may seem, recently I have recognized within my own heart, and the heart of other women, the heart of a warrior.

With great weariness one night, I complained in prayer about the amount of time in my life that I have spent struggling to improve relationships, attempting to vanquish evil from my home, and fighting uphill battles against impossible odds so that others can know success. It was a moment of selfishness in my prayer time, a moment of weakness, I confess.

God answered me in two ways: the first with a gentle reminder from scripture. Galatians 6:9, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." In a strange way I felt relief - obviously God knew that we would grow weary doing good and would need encouragement to persevere.

But the second answer was incredible: I saw that women are made to be warriors. God put within us the heart to knit our family together. We have the vision for unity and peace in our home. God has given us the perseverance to hold tight to our family and friends when they need stability. Women are brave. We leave fear and trembling behind to face down the wolves that come into our home and into our children's hearts.

I thought of women that I know, women that have sacrificed much so that their families could be whole. I thought of Biblical examples of women with warrior hearts - Abigail, Esther, Deborah, and Ruth. I realized that God designed us to desire the best for those closest to us. We see them not as they are, but as God intends them to be. This is not the same as wanting to change our mates or children (a recipe for disaster). This is encouraging, strengthening, loving, and supporting our family in a quest for God's heart.

When the nights are long, and my faith is weak, I want to remember that God designed me to be a warrior.

What woman has been a warrior in your life?

36 and counting

In fifth grade, I had this thing for paper dolls. I played obsessively long games of pretend, you know the type - the princess is rescued by the prince and lives happily ever after. In all these games of pretend, the princess was 16 or so. After all, 20 was just soooo old to find true love.

Last week, I celebrated my 36th birthday. Maybe I should feel old. After all, my natural hair color isn't red anymore and the laugh lines around my eyes don't fade when I stop laughing and rollover doesn't refer to minutes on my phone. But instead, I feel as though I've just begun to live. Don't get me wrong, the 20's were cool - having babies is a blast. But in my thirties, I've found new acceptance with myself. I like the person I'm becoming, and enjoy my marriage.

There are nights when I lie awake and doubt myself. I wonder about my crazy decision to pursue a ministry degree this late in life and try to launch a new career. But most of the time, I am excited that I am comfortable in my own skin, laugh way too hard, and love way too big. I wish that I could pause the clock and spend a few extra minutes enjoying this phase of life.

I am excited to see what surprises, challenges, and blessings this year will hold. Happy Birthday to Me!

14 years of motherhood

James, my oldest, celebrated his 14th birthday today. He is a low key kind of guy. It's been years since his last party. I tried to convince him to invite his buddies over to hang out, or to go to a movie, but he answered, "UHUUNUH." I think in 14 year old grunting, this translates to, "No thanks, mom." When asked what he wanted for his birthday, he responded, "UHNU." I think in 14 year old male grunting, that translates to "I'm not sure what I want, mom."

Finally after much discussion (I used words, he grunted), we bought him a new video game, and added a phone to the family plan so he no longer has to share with his sister, since sharing isn't really how I would describe their phone arrangement. She typically keeps the phone and allows him to make calls while she stares at him and waits. James was thrilled to get his own phone.

We gave him the choice of anywhere he wanted to eat, and the boy chose CiCi's pizza. I am not a fan. James however loved the idea of unlimited pizza and soft drinks. We came back home to an amazing Reese's peanut butter cup cake that Shawn made from scratch. YUMMY!

As we ate cake, we shared our favorite James moments. There are so many - the little boy memories of mudpies, imaginary friends, and sweet kisses. There's also the memories of him finding himself as a teen. We have had a lot of laughs the last few years on our commute to school and back.

It all made me think about how blessed I am to celebrate 14 years of motherhood today. It's not always an easy road, parenting four children. However, I love this crazy life. As I sit on the couch tonight and watch them play rockband, I remember the overwhelming love that I felt as each of them was laid into my arms. The years have flown by and I no longer kiss scraped knees and sing lullabies at night. Instead I mentor them through life impacting decisions and try hard to be their biggest fan. I am looking forward to our future as a family and am incredibly thankful to have the opportunity to be a mom.

Do Over

As a kid, when something went wrong during a game at recess, somebody would holler, "Do over." That meant you got a second try at the game. In playground law, it was assumed that you deserved second chances.

As an adult, it seems that do overs are few and far between. It seems that our choices are weightier with tougher, more long term consequences. Maybe that's why getting a second chance is such a beautiful thing.

We have recently had deep, dark times with our teens. Without betraying their trust, I will simply say that it's easily been one of the hardest months of my life. However, the light at the end of the tunnel is that God handed me a do over. So many times with teens you don't have the opportunity to repair what is broken, therefore I am very grateful for a second chance.

The catch of second chances is that they don't come easily or without sacrifice. For this season in our life, our children have expressed their primary need is more time at home - lots of time with our family. This means that I have given up journey groups, ministry opportunities, and friendships. For this season in our lives, I am digging in deeply and investing into my children. While I desperately miss my friends and getting to minister alongside Shawn, I am already seeing changes at our home.

Tonight I skipped James' game to bring the girls home. We picked up a few groceries at the store, turned on some music and danced, sang, and cooked supper together. As we laughed together at the dinner table, I realized that the lights are shining again in my girls' eyes. They are starting to feel loved and valued again. I have to say that the sparkles in their eyes make the sacrifices easy.

Tonight I was thankful that God is still a God of second chances. And that He gives us the good sense to seize them!

My son's fashion mandate

Riding in the car, merging into traffic on 82, my 13 year old son randomly announces his latest fashion mandate. "Men should NOT wear anything that has to have the word 'man' inserted in front of it. That means it's really girly, but they just want to wear it." I snickered, but didn't start snorting with laughter until he began the monologue list.

"Like a kilt. It's a MAN skirt. It doesn't matter if it has the word man in front, it's still a SKIRT!"

"Or a Man thong. That's just weird. There is NOTHING manly about a thong. Who even invented a man thong? Who wears that?"

"Or Manpris. They're still girly short pants, no matter what you call them. Unless you're in the British army. Then it's okay."

"Or a MAN purse. That's just a purse. Men carry backpacks. Women carry purses. Definitely leather over the shoulder screams, 'I'm a girl.' Maybe a big brown bag with lots of pockets for your computer is okay."

"Or MANscara. That's just wrong."

I thought you all might enjoy just a slice of life in the Kemp car on a random Monday afternoon. Supper was even better. We started with conversation, but somehow it degenerated to all the different noises and faces they could make. Such is our crazy life.

Summer Vacation

Another summer vacation has ended, all too soon. I enjoyed an unplugged week of relaxation in Missouri. The cabin at The Brook of Bethpage was incredible. I am excited that several couples in Southern Missouri saw the need for a free respite for pastors and worked together to create this beautiful retreat. I read through the stories in the guest book in our cabin and was moved to tears. So many pastors and their wives have slept in that gorgeous cabin, desperately seeking God's face after terrible hurt and burnout in the ministry. Many of them left renewed and refreshed. What an incredible ministry! I am touched that people saw the need to minister to pastors in such a practical way!

The retreat was created for pastors to be able to spend hours in quiet reflection and meditation. While it would be a perfect place to go as a couple to seek God's face, especially when facing a big decision, or even alone to be able to just sit and write, it was a little boring for the kids. They enjoyed reading, watching some movies, and swimming in the pool. However, we were in the middle of poison ivy season, so we were unable to do any hiking.

We drove the hour and a half over to Branson one day, did a little school shopping and watched the Noah's Ark Musical. Our four year old, Abby, loved the musical. She was excited to see the animals and hear the story of Noah. She was curious about why God was living in the big flashlights. (The spotlights were used to represent God speaking to Noah.) The older kids tolerated the show, but it was a little over dramatic for them. They have some hysterically funny impressions of the actors, however. (No offense if any of them are your relatives or friends)

Thursday was probably the kids' favorite day. We found a river a short drive from the cabin and took them swimming in the icy cold water. If we ever have the opportunity to return to the cabin, now we know where to find better hiking and outdoor activities. It was a beautiful state park, with great fishing and hiking.

I would say that Thursday was my favorite day as well. Thursday morning I was sitting in a rocking chair on the back porch having my quiet time. I was meditating in Ps. 150, 149, 148, and 147. I don't know why I randomly started reading from the back of Psalms, but as I was reading thunder began to boom in the distance. I continued to read about the God who forms the rain clouds and waters the thirsty earth as clouds rolled across the valley. I read about the God who controls the lightening as it began to flash over the hills in the distance. As the drops of rain hit the porch roof, I was captivated by the language of the Psalms and began to just sing those words back to my Creator.

Yep, it was probably a cheesy song. Most of you would have laughed at my off key voice belting out the melody over the booming thunder. But I was absolutely in God's presence Thursday morning. I enjoyed the time of worship, just me and God hanging out in the storm. I enjoyed a moment alone, to remember just how mighty a God it is that I serve.

Who blankets the heavens with the clouds
Sends down the rain to the thirsty earth
Who counts all the stars within his hands
Fixes their number and gives them names
Our God is great with mighty power
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise

Let the music begin
praise his name
Open up your mouth
give him thanks
Sing praises to the eternal one
Our Lord is great
Let's give Him praise

He binds our wounds and heals our hearts
Hears our cries and brings us peace
He raises us up and gives us strength
The Eternal One is listening
Let's sing to Him our joyful praise.

I would say that one of the other highlights of vacation was starting devotionals with our kids. We spent time every night around the dinner table talking about a Scripture and taking turns praying for each other. I loved hearing the kids' ideas and thoughts and prayers. My other favorite thing was visiting with my cousin today. It is good to rediscover family after many years of being away from home.

I am excited about what's next for The Crossroads and what's next for our family. I know that life is about to hit us hard and fast, but I am thankful to have had a week to catch my breath before the race begins. I am praying that God will use me this year in ways bigger than I can imagine for His glory and his kingdom. I am praying that our family will be guarded from evil and that we will find the time to create memories, laugh, and love each other.

Why Vacation?

Until recently I have never questioned the tradition of a summer vacation. Since I was a child, my family always took off a week or two and headed out on the open road. We primarily took destination vacations - seeing lots of sights and spending tons of hours on the road. As adults, Shawn and I have continued that tradition. We have taken the kids to Disney World and Disney Land. We have seen the Grand Canyon and the Sequoia National Forest. We have been to Sea World and multiple destinations in Arkansas, our home state.

This year, with finances a little tighter than usual and much to do with our home, school, and the church plant, I questioned that tradition of the family vacation pretty hard. Is it really that necessary for our survival as a family? I think that answer may vary from family to family, but I think for us, that answer is "YES!"

A few years ago we stopped doing the majorly busy, go, go, go vacation. A slower economy, a bigger family, and a smaller salary forced us to rethink how we vacationed. The turning point for us was 2006, the year Abby was born. Under great duress, we felt that we needed time away from the ministry, but Abby was too little to travel far. We rented an inexpensive Condo in Hot Springs, Arkansas, for a week. Our only agenda was to eat ice cream every day and go swimming. It was the best vacation of our lives. We relaxed, there was no rushing, no early mornings, no stress. I could sit and feed the baby without feeling like I was holding up the rest of the family. We returned to what was a difficult time in our ministry refreshed, renewed, and enabled to continue for another season.

Since that time we have stayed in a cabin in the Ozark mountains, road tripped to California with family, and camped in a variety of beautiful locations in Arkansas. We have amazing memories of lazily laying in cold mountain rivers and letting the water rush over us. We have great stories about the crazy stuff that happens to us when we are camping. We have spent many late nights roasting marshmallows over the campfire and laughing at our feeble attempts at ghost stories. We have hiked amazing trails to beautiful locations, using the opportunity to show our children the beauty of God's creation. We have invested long days and late nights into loving our kids and just being with them, without any distractions. Our kids love to tell our vacation stories, creating a sense of tradition for them. A tradition of magically beautiful moments.

This summer it would have been easy to stay home. We had originally planned a massive roadtrip across the West to Yellowstone, but our schedule didn't work out for the extended time away from home this year. With only two weeks left before I start back to work, I have tons to do here at the house, and many reasons why it would be more practical to just stay home.

However, I know from experience that on August 23, our lives will crank up to an entirely new level of crazy chaos with sports, school, fall church events and small group launchings. I know that I will not have a single extra minute to breathe for the next several months. So that is what this next week will be. An opportunity to breathe. We are staying in a cabin in Southern Missouri. We plan to swim, hike, lay in hammocks, read, strum the guitar, and play board games. It sounds boring - no amusement parks, no shopping trips - but it is an opportunity for our family to just breathe. It allows us to regroup, recharge, and return to ministry with the energy and focus that is necessary for success. It is possible for us to pour out our lives for others when we have spent time as a family getting filled up. We will spend this week doing lots of laughing, but we will also spend time praying together, reading God's word together, reflecting on the year past, and looking forward to the future. This week is one week that is just about us and our family and our God. I can't wait!