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Saturday, November 29, 2008

All I want for Christmas

Last blog tonight...I promise! I'll save the rest for later. This is a list of the hottest new Christmas gifts as seen in the Sky Mall catalog my brother-in-law brought me from off the plane. Thought it might make good blog material. Seems that he is a faithful reader as well.

My top ten favorites.

1. For the sexy woman in your life (me)
Wonder woman metal wristbands - just like the real ones! 'Cause those are awesome fashion accessories. Comes with invisible jet! (Get it ....the jet's would you know if you had one or not)

2. For the red-blooded males in your life (all of them)
Remember the leg lamp on Christmas Story? It would seem that you can now order it in full size. Or just for about Christmas lights with tiny leg lamps instead of bulbs. Because wives would let their husbands hang those on the tree?

3. For the middle-aged women in your life (moms)
Full sized, life-like head and shoulder sculpture of Elvis that sits on your desktop and sings and moves. The fantasies live on. Creepy. And nobody really cared about how his head moved anyway....

4. For the hunter in your life
Antlers that attach to each side window of the vehicle. Because we are trying to fool the deer into thinking your vehicle is another deer? Or so that you can honestly say, "I brought home a big one"?

5. Also For the hunter in your life
Moving deer trailer hitch cover. It lights up and dances randomly while you are driving in traffic. Really? Can you say REDNECK?

6. For the serious tailgater
double hammock style chairs that attach to your tailgate so that you and a buddy can party in style. My question - do you really want to spend hours attaching these huge incredibly complicated things to your truck when you could throw open your lawn chairs in seconds and be ready to party?

7. For the napper
An adult size blankie. I'm serious. Here's the description. "The moment your skin touches our exclusive Napsoft material, you'll feel your whole body begin to relax. It's the perfect size for napping, snuggling or cuddling." Oh I had a good time making fun of this one. Imagine your napper friend dragging their adult-sized blankie everywhere they go.

8. For the spa goer
3 piece lavender aromatherapy kit. "Get your zen on." What does that even mean? for 100 bucks I could go to a real spa!

9. For the edge piece only brownie eater (my husband)
An m-shaped pan. Now every piece is an edge piece. This one was actually one of those "why didn't I think of that" things.

10. For the gamer
Your own personal "claw" machine. You know the one...You put in a dollar and maneuver the claw over the stuffed animal you want to pick up. But for your own home? Why? Because that's a great place to store all your child's stuffed animals?

I'm only sorry that I can't import pictures. This may have been one of those you had to be there kind of blogs. My brother-in-law and I laughed pretty hard about the cheesy, yet extraordinarily expensive gifts. Hope you do too.

Thanksgiving blurbs

It's been a week since I had internet service and blogged, so did you miss me? That's the burning egocentric question in my head :)

So while I was missing in action here's what happened.

*Monday and Tuesday - Finished up the last couple of days at school. The Thanksgiving program was precious. My kids did an awesome job! I was very proud of them. Just as a side note - I suck as a single parent. I was very stressed and overwhelmed and emotionally unstable as I tried to clean the house to show, pack, and deal with sick kids. We survived, but the kids were really glad to get out of town.

*Wednesday - Picked up my 15 year old nephew in Greenville and delivered him to deer camp in Arkansas. I had such an awesome time traveling with him. It's been many years since I have had the opportunity to spend any time with my nephews and niece. He's one cool kid and I'm proud to be his aunt.

*Wednesday - Deer camp - picked up the mighty hunters - Shawn and James both got deer :) The other guys were not so lucky, but seemed to have survived hanging out with my family in the backwoods of Arkansas. While I was there, I had a few hours to kill so I took Katie and Abby and went walking. We went down to the old pond where I used to help Pops feed the fish. I looked for the old dock a long time. The beach had changed so much and was covered with lots of small trees that did not used to be there. When I finally found it, I saw that the dock had all but fallen into the pond....definitely not safe enough for me to wander out onto it with my babies. We also checked out the old well, the path to the gate, the deer stand I fell out of when I went hunting with Jon when I was about 3, the old outhouse, and the barns. Dad outed me on my favorite childhood song....It was an awesome moment .....One that I am certainly not confessing online!

*Thursday - Thanksgiving Day - We were at Shawn' s parents. My mother-in-law needed the car moved and suggested that James do it. He's 11. What the heck? So my father-in-law bravely crawled into the passenger seat. James slid the car into gear, slipped his foot off the brake, and crashed into the flowerpot in front of him. He was in drive instead of reverse. He did manage to stop the car before he totally crashed into the house. He backed up, then practiced driving across the yard. My brother-in-law and I sat on the couch laughing at his braking attempts. He would drive. Stop suddenly. Drive. Stop suddenly. Drive. Stop suddenly. Finally he parked and got out. I have officially survived my son's first driving attempt. We had a great time with the extended family. Ate tons of great food. Slept lots. Read "Twilight" and "New Moon". I'll review them in a future blog.

*Friday - Got up at 4 to go to Wal-mart. Desperately wanted the Barbie car on sale. I didn't realize that since Wal-mart was open all night that if I wanted the Barbie car, I needed to be there at three. I was checking out the $2 movies when I felt a shopping cart connect firmly with my butt. I glanced behind me to see what the problem was. A little old lady apparently wanted my spot by the DVDs and was willing to ram me with her cart to get it. As I looked at her, she pulled her cart back, and rammed by butt harder the second time. Really! To buy cheap movies! I moved rather than get into a fight with an old woman.....In case you wondered, I am still sore! I have never had a basket-patterned bruise before. I also went with Shawn to see the movie, "Twilight". I'll review it when I do the books. The date time was nice.

*Saturday - Packed up and headed to Texarkana. Ate lunch with Daddy and Lynelle. Picked up my nephew and returned him to Greenville to meet his dad. Got home. Unpacked. Began reading "Eclipse." Blogging. You are now caught up with my life.

I have tons of new material. I'll try to restrain myself and not do it all at once.

Monday Morning Updates - a little late

Last Sunday marked an incredible milestone in the history of The Crossroads Community Church. We baptized our first three people. It was beautiful. In the beginning, when we talked about planting a new church, I tried to imagine the first baptisms and really couldn't picture it very well. After all, how do you baptize anyone in a cheer gym?

But the reality was incredible. We rolled in a portable baptistery (think big bathtub on wheels)... Filled it with water... and baptized three new believers. The emotions that raced through me at that moment defy description. I have at many times along the journey lost my focus of why we are doing what we are doing. I have at many times confused my desires with God's will. I have at many times been more concerned about details and stuff and the show than the purpose and the mission. Wrapping my arms around those dripping women as they came out of the water reminded me of what we are doing and why. We are seeking to reach and then disciple as many people as we possibly can for as long as we have breath in our bodies.

As I reflected on the amazement and the beauty of watching these women make a public commitment to follow Christ, I heard that little voice in my head say, "You ain't seen nothing yet." So I am giving praise for the lives that are already changed, but I am also looking forward to the lives that are going to be changed.