Let's laugh

Our first grade program was today. It's a high stress time of year anyway, and getting one hundred 6 year olds to perform in sync, on cue is crazy. I was an absolute witch all day long. It was one of those days where you look back and realize that maybe you were the meanest you've ever been kind of days. I don't want to end my day regretting all the things I did and said, so I thought maybe we could laugh together at some of the funny moments.

Like there was this moment when one of my students was rushing to get something off my desk and knocked over my cup of water. As I was frantically grabbing papers and spreading them out to dry, I neglected to notice the water had trickled down into my chair. I found the puddle with my butt when I sat down. Teaching with a dripping wet booty is interesting. I considered going down to the hand dryers and grabbing my ankles so I could dry my pants, but decided that would be a little weird. But it made me laugh.

Or there was the moment when I picked Abby (age 3) up after school. We were skipping across the parking lot when she abruptly stopped, grabbed herself and said, "Mommy, my weiner hurts."

Then there was this moment when a kid left part of his costume back stage. I tried to unobtrusively hand it to him before his speaking part, but managed to time it so that I was directly in front of him as he began to speak. His parents were videoing. Instead of getting their kid on video doing his part, they got my butt. That will be an interesting video to show the kid someday. "and this is you doing your speaking part. You're right behind that teacher's butt."

This isn't funny, but it still made me feel good. Tonight I easily slid into a skirt that I last wore (miserably tight) to a wedding 8 years ago. Made me feel really good.

In spite of the toughness of today, there was still lots to giggle about. I am, however, thankful that I get to start over again tomorrow. The best part is that tomorrow is a new day, one without any mistakes in it yet. It will have plenty, I'm sure, but at least not yet.

Silence

I'm sitting at the computer, trying to decide what to write tonight. As I search my head for the words that create the blogs, it is empty and silent. It is a dark room, filled with cobwebs and dust. The doors are creaky, and it is damp and musty.

Women's heads are never silent. We usually have more voices speaking than we can listen to at one time. But for me, tonight, there is no new story to tell, no new truth to share, no funny story to make me giggle. Just silence.

It is slightly unnerving to have quiet in my brain. Even the music that constantly plays underneath my thoughts is still tonight.

There is an excited, unexplainable, expectancy that accompanies the emptiness tonight. This rush of pure emotion doesn't make sense. I am simply waiting tonight. Waiting to see what's next.

The charger

Tonight's run was grueling.  I was determined to run two miles. I did it - in short intervals - and by the end of my 3 mile route, I had run a total of two out of the three. But it hurt and it was hard and I wanted to give up and go home.

I was about halfway done, frustrated and even angry that it's so hard for me to get fit, when I saw the car. I've seen it before, on blocks in a neighbors garage. It's an old charger, beat up, faded paint job, windowless, in rough shape. But it has potential for beauty.

Tonight the guy had it running. He was driving around the neighborhood off and on during my entire run. I could hear the engine, roaring loudly over my iPOD. Then I would see him pull over, get out, lift the hood and tweak. All the while, he was grinning from ear to ear. It might not be in mint condition, and it might run ragged, but it was off the blocks and going.

I saw some parallels between me and that car. I spent way too many years up on blocks - sitting on the couch with my remote. I'm finally out the door and running. I may not run smooth and fast, and my body may not be in mint condition, but I'm moving. I'm pretty sure that's worth a big grin.

Monday morning update 3/22/10

We awoke this morning to several inches of snow on the ground. We headed to Anna thinking, "How bad could it be?" However, the further south we went, the worse the roads became. We intended to go ahead with services for anyone who could attend since we were there anyway.

Then when we went to the storage place to get the truck with all our stuff, the keypad for the gate code was frozen over with ice and wouldn't work. After slipping and sliding to the school to check out the building, we finally decided to cancel services. Instead we gathered at a friend's house for coffee, worship, and prayer.

We spent the rest of the day shampooing carpets. I am so ready to be done cleaning. It's very much not my favorite. I have blisters on my hands from dragging the carpet shampooer back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. But the hard work will be worth it when the house sells and we get moved to Anna.