A Sticky Situation

I was mercilessly attacked tonight by soft drinks. It began innocently enough. My family was eating pizza for supper in my classroom. Because apparently we live there now. Abby bumped the pizza box which bumped my just poured glass of Dr. Pepper, which dumped upside down all over me, my chair, and the floor. So now I am sticky and wet. Baby wipes helped slightly with the sticky, but I was still wet and we were soon departing to go to the football game. I had the bright idea that I would run down to the restroom and blow dry my jeans - I couldn't go to the game looking like I had peed all over myself - seriously!

So imagine with me if you will, I am on my way to dry myself, when the school librarian enters the scene. She spots the full extent of the damage, and laughs hysterically and offers to go get her camera to make photos of the damage. I declined, and pursued my efforts of drying off my sticky self. It was as I was standing precariously on one foot with my other leg shoved up into the hand dryer mounted on the wall, that I realized she might be serious since she has disappeared from the hall. I immediately abandoned my quest for dryness and simply waddled back to class, determined to endure the stickiness for the remainder of the evening.

So, in case you wondered, after Dr. Pepper dries, it is no longer terribly sticky. Therefore, I was still able to attend and enjoy the football game. Until the third quarter. That was when I borrowed Katie's red gatorade. I went to take a small sip, completely missed and poured most of the bottle on and down my shirt. Now being red, wet, and sticky it was time to depart. (Did I mention that Katie also was soaked at the game by an exploding Dr. Pepper and had to purchase a new shirt?)

Oh, but no.....It's still not over. On the way home, I was very thirsty. Seeing as how most of my attempts at drinking this afternoon did not work out well for me. I grabbed a Dr. Pepper, twisted the cap, and - you guessed it - the darn (edited at shawn's request) thing exploded all over me in the car! What are the chances! Shawn at this point is about to burst from his efforts to restrain his laughter. Torn between his desire to laugh at an impossibly funny situation and to stay out of the doghouse for laughing at me being in a really sticky situation. I really thought for a moment that he might pass out from holding his breath trying not to laugh. It finally got the better of him, and we both laughed.

So now I am going to bed, still thirsty. This could be a cheesy horror flick ....revenge of the soft drinks.....