I am almost finished with Matthew. The last few days, I've been reading about the final days and hours leading up to the crucifixion. I've read this countless times before, but this time, I really tried to focus in on the roller coaster of emotions that Jesus must have felt. In other words...explore the human side of the God of the Universe.
I may totally off on some of this, but here are my thoughts anyway for whatever they're worth. So way back in chapter 21, Jesus is headed to Jerusalem for the last time. It never occurred to me to look at these events in light of Jesus was facing certain betrayal and death. In other words....Had a bad day...... First he is escorted into the city with a royal procession. Must have been bitter sweet, knowing that those very people would be killing him soon. On his way into Jerusalem, Jesus fried the fig tree, turned over the tables in the temple, and blasted the Pharisees. Seems like he might be experiencing some frustration over the hard hearts of humans. Not that he sinned in any of these instances....just wondering about his emotions as all this was going on. Frustration? Anger? Why couldn't Eve have just said no?
Then he spent time teaching his friends. These last few stories must have been pretty important. After all, when you know you are dying, you try hard to make every moment count. I wondered a little in chapter 26 where the woman anointed him with perfume. I wondered how awkward it was to be in the room at that moment. I wondered how the tension crackled in the air as the men watched for Jesus's reaction to the suggestive gesture. I wondered if Judas justified his actions of betrayal...."what kind of Messiah would allow a woman to do that?"
The last meal...then off to pray while his three favorites waited with him. In the hour of all eternity when he needed, wanted companionship, humans let him down again. What Jesus faced, he faced alone. God of the Universe...lonely. That's hard to comprehend.
What must it have been like as creator, to stand before your creation and be mocked and misjudged and ridiculed and beaten and killed. To endure it so that you could redeem your creation. So that they could have eternity with you. Why not just blast us all and start over? Why be willing to endure the cross for me? Why would an awesome, powerful, mighty God stand before men and allow himself to be treated as common, as trash, as unworthy? And how could we not see who he really was?
Some heavy thoughts there.....Just trying to contemplate God in all his holiness and all his humanness all at the same time is mind boggling to me. All I know is that I am forever thankful that God was willing to do what it took to redeem me. I am not worthy. But I am redeemed.