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Monday, June 28, 2010

New Beginnings

Today dawned like most. I hit snooze a couple of times before dragging my butt out of bed. 4:15 is just way too early for me! I decided to skip P90X in favor of a good, long run. I sprinted out the door in my white t-shirt and gray shorts. I made great time for the first half mile. The rain fell gently at first, then turned into a downpour. I was glad it was dark so that my now drenched white t-shirt did not draw attention from passing motorists on their way to work.

As my run progressed into the second mile, my pace slowed against my will. I tried to speed up. Then my feet were walking. No matter what I tried, I could not make them run. By the time I could get home, I was stumbling. I was confused by the weakness in my legs, but dismissed it to working out too hard.

I made it to the shower, having to pause from dizziness. Shaking with chills, I wobbled into the shower. As the hot spray rolled over my chilled body, I opened my eyes, only to discover a large hairy spider by my feet. There's just something about being naked in a confined space with a big spider! I went all ninja on it with my super sized shampoo bottle. Creeped out, I hurried through my shower and headed back to my room to get ready.

That's when it hit. I made it to my bathroom before the nausea overtook my body. Then it all made sense to me why the run was so tough. My body was sick, I just didn't know it yet.

This is a long explanation of why I was laying flat on my back today with nothing to do but think. As I moved from couch to big chair and back today, feeling atrocious, I had the opportunity to take a really good look at my house. On the market less than a week, we came closer to terms with a buyer today. They have not decided for sure yet, but it made the sale of our home much more of a reality to me.

Living here now for over four years, this house holds a lot of incredible memories. Since our marriage, Shawn and I have moved often as we upgraded from apartments to a trailer, to a duplex, to our own home. In 17 years of marriage, this is the longest we have lived in one house.

As I looked around me, the kitchen table caught my eye. Memory after memory of amazing dinners came flooding back. We have laughed with the kids, we have played silly games, planned important events for The Crossroads, we have eaten gourmet romantic dinners, and entertained countless friends around my table in that kitchen. We have squished more people into that kitchen around the table than fire codes would allow, I'm sure!

Our kitchen has been a magic place. I often sit on a stool at the counter chatting with my husband, my best friend, while he cooks. We frequently laugh as I attempt to chop veggies for his latest creations. We taught our children to cook in this kitchen. We have danced many a night to some Norah and Buble while we cook dinner together. I have yelled, cried, laughed and danced with my children in that kitchen as well.

There are memories in every room in this house. Abby learning to crawl and then taking her first toddling steps, late nights of Shawn and I sipping coffee on the couch and dreaming big dreams of trying to reach a new community, and long hours at the piano talking and listening to God. In this home I discovered new passions and found my soul that was lost for a very, very long time. I rediscovered my love for writing, then branched out into a new hobby - running. In both of these hobbies, I reconnected with God and discovered rain for my soul after a long stay in the desert.

As selling became more of a reality today, I realized that I am yet again moving out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. I am excited about a new beginning in a new place. I hope that we are blessed with many years in our next home as well. I can't wait to be living with my tribe - our people in Anna. I know God has great and beautiful things in store. Today I used the time on my back to reflect, and I was extremely thankful for how God has blessed our family in the last four years. However, I am looking forward to a new beginning.

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