It was summer. 1992. My dad was preaching a revIval (make sure you emphasize the I), in Center Point, a small town in Southern Arkansas. When my dad came home he found me and said, "I've met the man you're going to marry." I thought he was joking, and laughed pretty hard. Fresh out of a long term relationship, I wasn't really seeking a new one. I was graduating a year early from high school and had tough decisions to quickly make about college. Marriage was nowhere on my radar.
I met Shawn the following night at the revIval. He was leading music. He didn't talk much. Actually, he was painfully shy with girls and didn't talk at all to me for the next 2 nights. He was stealing glances at me during the services, but I wasn't paying too much attention. What I did not know until later was that his mom was also trying to set us up. Along about Thursday night, our parents decided we were not ever going to get together on our own and helped us along a little. My dad asked Shawn to sing an old hymn, "Love of God." When Shawn replied that he did not know that song, Dad said that his daughter would be more than happy to teach it to him.
Well, that got Shawn on my piano bench. Most of my friends know that if you want to really connect with me and get to know my heart, that's where it happens. We sang for a long time that night. He finally started making small talk with me. The night ended, without either of us even exchanging numbers. Just idle chit-chat. On the final night of the revIval, I truly expected him to ask me out. I mean, seriously, by Thursday night the boy was showing up nearly an hour before services so he could pick out songs. That translates to page turning while he was stealing glances at me.
Services came and went. We ate supper together at the potluck after church. We were still just making small talk. I was finally walking to my car when Shawn got enough courage to ask me on a date. We set up the date and exchanged numbers. I was excited. I liked him, and it had been a long time since I had been out with a guy. I never dreamed where it would take me.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A Late Bloomer
Today in my classroom, my children needed a reminder that we all bloom at different paces. I reminded them of where they started, barely reading, and how they have been blooming into chapter book readers slowly and at different paces. Some children were still discouraged by their progress, so I decided that it was time for a personal story.
"Boys and girls, recently I decided to try to learn to dance. I've been attending dance classes at a gym." (zumba, but go with me here) "I have learned that I am a late bloomer. My friends are able to keep up and go the right direction. They look elegant and get the steps all right. But me, not so much. But do I give up?"
In unison, "No, Mrs. Kemp you don't give up."
"I keep trying, thinking that I will bloom soon. Every time I get a little better, but I still have not bloomed." (My demonstrations of my dancing mistakes made them giggle) "Some of you are like me. You are not reading as well as your friends, and that makes you feel embarrassed and frustrated. But you have to keep trying."
We'll see if it hits home with my little friends. Discouragement can be the greatest weight that prevents learning from happening with small children. It struck me today that this is true with adults as well. Sometimes our discouragement and fear of failure can keep us from doing the hard and the great things in life.
I set out to teach my students, but I think that today they taught me.
"Boys and girls, recently I decided to try to learn to dance. I've been attending dance classes at a gym." (zumba, but go with me here) "I have learned that I am a late bloomer. My friends are able to keep up and go the right direction. They look elegant and get the steps all right. But me, not so much. But do I give up?"
In unison, "No, Mrs. Kemp you don't give up."
"I keep trying, thinking that I will bloom soon. Every time I get a little better, but I still have not bloomed." (My demonstrations of my dancing mistakes made them giggle) "Some of you are like me. You are not reading as well as your friends, and that makes you feel embarrassed and frustrated. But you have to keep trying."
We'll see if it hits home with my little friends. Discouragement can be the greatest weight that prevents learning from happening with small children. It struck me today that this is true with adults as well. Sometimes our discouragement and fear of failure can keep us from doing the hard and the great things in life.
I set out to teach my students, but I think that today they taught me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Monday Morning Update 2/22/10
I've checked my facebook, twitter, and played several rounds of words with friends on my phone while I've been staring at the cursor trying to decide what to write tonight. Sometimes words cannot adequately express life experiences.
Today, Shawn and I shared the story on stage of how God redeemed our marriage. It was rough. It was painful, but also beautiful to be able to finally share about God's grace, mercy, love, power, and healing. We felt as though it was time to share bluntly and honestly about how God can redeem marriages. I debated all day about whether to share our story here as well. I may soon, but to be honest, tonight I am too wiped out emotionally to walk through it all over again. I have cried almost nonstop for the past 48 hours as Shawn and I pieced together today's message. I cried primarily not about the pain, but about how great God has been. Until we took the time to really look back at our past, I had forgotten just how great the healing has been.
I have never seen a response from a crowd like we did today. Pretty much everybody cried. I'm pretty sure I used a whole box of kleenexes all by myself. But what amazed me was the outpouring of love, and the outpouring of relief, and the outpouring of thankfulness that people expressed that we were honest from the stage. I guess I was the most shocked by how grateful people were that we have hurt in our life as well, and that no sin is secret or too big or too bad or too ugly to confess. Our phones have rang all day as people have called to ask us to pray with them about similar issues in their marriages and families. I am excited to see how God will use this in the future of The Crossroads.
I am privileged to be in a church like The Crossroads where we can be real, without condemnation. I am thankful every day of my life that God is letting me be a part of this great adventure. What an incredibly beautiful day!
Today, Shawn and I shared the story on stage of how God redeemed our marriage. It was rough. It was painful, but also beautiful to be able to finally share about God's grace, mercy, love, power, and healing. We felt as though it was time to share bluntly and honestly about how God can redeem marriages. I debated all day about whether to share our story here as well. I may soon, but to be honest, tonight I am too wiped out emotionally to walk through it all over again. I have cried almost nonstop for the past 48 hours as Shawn and I pieced together today's message. I cried primarily not about the pain, but about how great God has been. Until we took the time to really look back at our past, I had forgotten just how great the healing has been.
I have never seen a response from a crowd like we did today. Pretty much everybody cried. I'm pretty sure I used a whole box of kleenexes all by myself. But what amazed me was the outpouring of love, and the outpouring of relief, and the outpouring of thankfulness that people expressed that we were honest from the stage. I guess I was the most shocked by how grateful people were that we have hurt in our life as well, and that no sin is secret or too big or too bad or too ugly to confess. Our phones have rang all day as people have called to ask us to pray with them about similar issues in their marriages and families. I am excited to see how God will use this in the future of The Crossroads.
I am privileged to be in a church like The Crossroads where we can be real, without condemnation. I am thankful every day of my life that God is letting me be a part of this great adventure. What an incredibly beautiful day!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday Morning Update 2/15/10
The room looked as though it had vomited pink and red. Balloons covered the floor and corsages were heaped on tables. Food filled three tables and the pink lemonade never ran dry. But most importantly, there were beautiful girls everywhere, cradled in the arms of the most important men in their life. Their daddies.
The Crossroads hosted the Daddy daughter dance Saturday night as an opportunity for dads to demonstrate to their daughters what real love looks like. Statistics about women who end up in abusive relationships are staggering. By encouraging dads to create special memories for their daughters, we are encouraging them to teach their daughters what to look for in a husband someday.
I will say that by the time clean up was done, and I found my bed on Saturday night, I was exhausted. Sunday morning came way too early. I hit snooze at least twice.
Every week we are seeing several new families. It is almost impossible now to touch base with everyone before they leave. I love seeing how God is working in Anna through The Crossroads. I wish that I had more time available for ministry. The harvest is plentiful......
We had a missionary from Tula, Mexico, come speak. He was visiting family in the States and trying to raise support. We will be traveling to Tula this summer to do some missionary work. I am looking forward to getting to know his family better then and being a part of what God is doing there. He said that he and his family hated Tula when God called them there. It is ugly and in the desert. However, God has used him to plant five churches in the region and to see many people accept Christ. He has found that being where God wants him is better than what he had planned out for himself.
That's a lesson that is a hard one to apply.
The Crossroads hosted the Daddy daughter dance Saturday night as an opportunity for dads to demonstrate to their daughters what real love looks like. Statistics about women who end up in abusive relationships are staggering. By encouraging dads to create special memories for their daughters, we are encouraging them to teach their daughters what to look for in a husband someday.
I will say that by the time clean up was done, and I found my bed on Saturday night, I was exhausted. Sunday morning came way too early. I hit snooze at least twice.
Every week we are seeing several new families. It is almost impossible now to touch base with everyone before they leave. I love seeing how God is working in Anna through The Crossroads. I wish that I had more time available for ministry. The harvest is plentiful......
We had a missionary from Tula, Mexico, come speak. He was visiting family in the States and trying to raise support. We will be traveling to Tula this summer to do some missionary work. I am looking forward to getting to know his family better then and being a part of what God is doing there. He said that he and his family hated Tula when God called them there. It is ugly and in the desert. However, God has used him to plant five churches in the region and to see many people accept Christ. He has found that being where God wants him is better than what he had planned out for himself.
That's a lesson that is a hard one to apply.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Valentine's Get-Away
Giddy. Excited. Butterflies. Primping. I remember those feelings as a teenager getting ready for a big date. Friday afternoon as I was showering, I was thankful to realize that I still feel all of those things when I am getting ready for a date with my husband of nearly 17 years. I still get excited about going away with him. I am still giddy, even knowing that I got the guy.
Our evening began with a less than stellar event. We were about two blocks from the house when we heard a very loud, "Kerthump," and the car stalled out. I have been through this twice before, both times alone in a mini van full of children on a major highway in Fort Worth. So I say, "Transmission. Crap." My husband throws it into reverse, the only way the suburban would still drive. We returned home by backing down the street, circling the cul-de-sac, and backing into the driveway. I couldn't help laughing about driving in reverse. It struck me as funny. I didn't see Shawn laughing.
We grabbed the keys to the other car and headed out again, determined not to be side tracked from our amazing evening. As we neared Dallas, Shawn let me choose where to eat. I debated about Olive Garden, but finally suggested The Magic Time Machine. We had heard such good things about it from friends. My bad!
1. They seated us in a narrow walkway so that people couldn't get past Shawn, so we had to ask for a different table. Hello- don't seat large people in tiny thorough-fares. It's embarrassing to have to say, "I'm too big to sit here."
2. Our waiter, Prince Charming, was less than charming. He repeatedly told us he was paid crap, his job was crap, and he didn't bother refilling our drinks.
3. The food sucked. My chicken parmesan was rubbery - you know how chicken is when it's been microwaved too long. I had a better chicken parmesan last week in a Lean Cuisine meal. For less than $3. Shawn's shrimp was tough and slightly freezer burnt. The food was bad enough that we could not even manage to finish our food.
4. Shawn mentioned the bad food to our waiter. He rolled his eyes and said, "I get that alot." REALLY!
To fully understand this experience, you have to know that Shawn loves good food. As in, he absolutely adores it. When he eats really good food, he makes rather loud happy noises. (Think "When Harry Met Sally") When he eats bad food, well, it's not pretty. His evening was pretty much ruined at that point. His favorite part of Valentine's Day, by far, is the good food. There was no redemption of the evening for him.
We spent the night at The Westin, a really nice hotel in Dallas. I was excited that it was an improvement over last year's microtel. They were even playing Norah over the speakers in the lobby. I enjoyed staying in the nice hotel, and we had a great breakfast from Panera on the way home this morning. Over all, it was not one of our best getaways (transmission and bad food kind of sucked it up). However, it was still better than last year's WinStar and Microtel. It was good to spend time alone with my husband.
Maybe next year we should just send the kids away and eat our own really good food cooked in our own kitchen and sleep in our own bed.
Our evening began with a less than stellar event. We were about two blocks from the house when we heard a very loud, "Kerthump," and the car stalled out. I have been through this twice before, both times alone in a mini van full of children on a major highway in Fort Worth. So I say, "Transmission. Crap." My husband throws it into reverse, the only way the suburban would still drive. We returned home by backing down the street, circling the cul-de-sac, and backing into the driveway. I couldn't help laughing about driving in reverse. It struck me as funny. I didn't see Shawn laughing.
We grabbed the keys to the other car and headed out again, determined not to be side tracked from our amazing evening. As we neared Dallas, Shawn let me choose where to eat. I debated about Olive Garden, but finally suggested The Magic Time Machine. We had heard such good things about it from friends. My bad!
1. They seated us in a narrow walkway so that people couldn't get past Shawn, so we had to ask for a different table. Hello- don't seat large people in tiny thorough-fares. It's embarrassing to have to say, "I'm too big to sit here."
2. Our waiter, Prince Charming, was less than charming. He repeatedly told us he was paid crap, his job was crap, and he didn't bother refilling our drinks.
3. The food sucked. My chicken parmesan was rubbery - you know how chicken is when it's been microwaved too long. I had a better chicken parmesan last week in a Lean Cuisine meal. For less than $3. Shawn's shrimp was tough and slightly freezer burnt. The food was bad enough that we could not even manage to finish our food.
4. Shawn mentioned the bad food to our waiter. He rolled his eyes and said, "I get that alot." REALLY!
To fully understand this experience, you have to know that Shawn loves good food. As in, he absolutely adores it. When he eats really good food, he makes rather loud happy noises. (Think "When Harry Met Sally") When he eats bad food, well, it's not pretty. His evening was pretty much ruined at that point. His favorite part of Valentine's Day, by far, is the good food. There was no redemption of the evening for him.
We spent the night at The Westin, a really nice hotel in Dallas. I was excited that it was an improvement over last year's microtel. They were even playing Norah over the speakers in the lobby. I enjoyed staying in the nice hotel, and we had a great breakfast from Panera on the way home this morning. Over all, it was not one of our best getaways (transmission and bad food kind of sucked it up). However, it was still better than last year's WinStar and Microtel. It was good to spend time alone with my husband.
Maybe next year we should just send the kids away and eat our own really good food cooked in our own kitchen and sleep in our own bed.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Valentine's Week
"What? You wanted a card? Why didn't you say so? You could have picked one up at the store. I would have signed it for you." Meet my husband - about 7 years ago on Valentine's Day. He was not romantic. He wasn't necessarily unloving, he just didn't "get it" about how to love a woman. He assumed that I knew he loved me just because he had married me many years ago. For example, on our 10th anniversary he offered to swing by the drive-through at Taco Bell.
Expectations can destroy a relationship. I had huge expectations about getting swept off my feet. I believed the Hollywood and Disney version of marriage. I absolutely expected "Happily Ever After." When I married, I expected to get blown away by romance. I thought my husband would always gaze at me with goo goo eyes. I thought he would wow me daily with romantic gestures. Then real life hit pretty hard. We were swamped with ministry, we had kids, and life was busy.
My husband had huge expectations as well. He expected "Leave it to Beaver." He thought that a loving wife always had supper on the table. She kept a perfect house, handled the children patiently, and allowed her hard-working husband to come home at night to his castle, prop his feet up in his favorite chair and watch T.V. in silence. Was he in for a shock! I stunk at all those things. I am well known for kitchen fires when I cook, I hate to clean, and I was not cool with my husband disengaging in the evening and ignoring me and the kids.
For many years we were both extremely dissatisfied with our relationship. I will say that my husband was the first to make an effort to change. My husband has learned in recent years how to love me. The way that I understand love is not necessarily the way that he naturally expresses love. It takes hard work on his part. That's what makes it so beautiful. For example, he now does Valentine's week instead of just Valentine's Day. I look forward to this holiday all year.
This year Shawn has written me a love letter every day. He has spent each day writing to me about why he finds me beautiful. The letters have addressed physical traits, personality traits, and spiritual traits. As with most women, I struggle with my self worth. It is refreshing and touching to know that my husband dwells on my beauty and thinks about me during the day. (Read - I cried a lot when I read the letters)
There have been gifts and special meals and candy, but I think the most touching gift was a music download. After I was asleep the other night, Shawn stole my phone and added new music. Some was just fun, but he added a song that he thinks describes who I have become. I didn't know what to expect when I listened, but I was honored beyond words. You see, he downloaded Leeland's "Tears of the Saints". It's a song about doing whatever it takes to reach the hurting and the damaged and the lost.
Tonight we celebrate Valentine's Day. He has arranged the baby sitter, made the reservations, and all I have to do is pack my suitcase and show up. This is a man who is living proof that you can learn how to be romantic. It can be an acquired skill if you are willing to work hard to love your wife.
I work much harder now as well at loving my husband. It is still true that I rarely cook, but I do try a little harder to clean the house. But I have also learned to build my husband up with my words. I have learned that he needs me to be impressed with him and to express that openly. I have learned about unconditionally respecting him in public, and also when we are alone. I have learned to speak to him in ways that communicate my needs and desires, without yelling, or being accusatory.
I firmly believe that with a lot of hard work and a lot of God's grace, we have discovered a love that is much better, deeper, and stronger than the "happily ever after" I was looking for.
Expectations can destroy a relationship. I had huge expectations about getting swept off my feet. I believed the Hollywood and Disney version of marriage. I absolutely expected "Happily Ever After." When I married, I expected to get blown away by romance. I thought my husband would always gaze at me with goo goo eyes. I thought he would wow me daily with romantic gestures. Then real life hit pretty hard. We were swamped with ministry, we had kids, and life was busy.
My husband had huge expectations as well. He expected "Leave it to Beaver." He thought that a loving wife always had supper on the table. She kept a perfect house, handled the children patiently, and allowed her hard-working husband to come home at night to his castle, prop his feet up in his favorite chair and watch T.V. in silence. Was he in for a shock! I stunk at all those things. I am well known for kitchen fires when I cook, I hate to clean, and I was not cool with my husband disengaging in the evening and ignoring me and the kids.
For many years we were both extremely dissatisfied with our relationship. I will say that my husband was the first to make an effort to change. My husband has learned in recent years how to love me. The way that I understand love is not necessarily the way that he naturally expresses love. It takes hard work on his part. That's what makes it so beautiful. For example, he now does Valentine's week instead of just Valentine's Day. I look forward to this holiday all year.
This year Shawn has written me a love letter every day. He has spent each day writing to me about why he finds me beautiful. The letters have addressed physical traits, personality traits, and spiritual traits. As with most women, I struggle with my self worth. It is refreshing and touching to know that my husband dwells on my beauty and thinks about me during the day. (Read - I cried a lot when I read the letters)
There have been gifts and special meals and candy, but I think the most touching gift was a music download. After I was asleep the other night, Shawn stole my phone and added new music. Some was just fun, but he added a song that he thinks describes who I have become. I didn't know what to expect when I listened, but I was honored beyond words. You see, he downloaded Leeland's "Tears of the Saints". It's a song about doing whatever it takes to reach the hurting and the damaged and the lost.
Tonight we celebrate Valentine's Day. He has arranged the baby sitter, made the reservations, and all I have to do is pack my suitcase and show up. This is a man who is living proof that you can learn how to be romantic. It can be an acquired skill if you are willing to work hard to love your wife.
I work much harder now as well at loving my husband. It is still true that I rarely cook, but I do try a little harder to clean the house. But I have also learned to build my husband up with my words. I have learned that he needs me to be impressed with him and to express that openly. I have learned about unconditionally respecting him in public, and also when we are alone. I have learned to speak to him in ways that communicate my needs and desires, without yelling, or being accusatory.
I firmly believe that with a lot of hard work and a lot of God's grace, we have discovered a love that is much better, deeper, and stronger than the "happily ever after" I was looking for.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday Morning Update 2.8.10
God was certainly present at The Crossroads yesterday. I am blown away every week as more and more people pour in. Families continue to come who have never been to church, or who were burned badly years ago, or who have simply fallen out of the habit of attending since they have moved to Anna. This week we hit another record attendance. We had 66 people just in children's! That number has doubled since September.
Shawn did a great job with a sermon on tithing. I love how he focuses on how tithing is an opportunity to be a part of God's plan. He doesn't discuss budget shortfalls, or try to guilt people into giving. I liked that he met people where they were on giving. Many people that we are reaching have maxed out their credit cards, bought a home they cannot afford, drive vehicles out of their price range, and are drowning in debt. Shawn told people that he thinks they can give 10 percent, but if they just absolutely can't do that to begin with a smaller number. If you think you can give 1 percent, then stretch yourself and give 2. Then at the end of the year, raise that number. Don't not give just because you can't give 10 percent.
Of course, I bawled like a baby. Shawn shared one of the many amazing stories of God's provision from our early marriage. We were in school full time, paying our own way. He was on staff at a church that was paying a very small part time salary. One week we ran out of food. I'm sure there were a few staples in the cabinet, but we did not have anything left to cook for a meal. We could not go to the store until payday, but we thought "people fast for 3 days all the time, we are not going to starve." We went to a meeting at church that night and Butch Sorters, a man that was not a close friend at the time, approached us at the end of the meeting and invited us home for supper. His wife was furious with him when we showed up. Her house wasn't clean, and they were just eating hamburger helper, or something similar. She enjoyed visiting with us, but she was bothered by not having prepared for company.
After we ate, Butch offered us some food from their freezer. We saw God very literally meet our need. Butch had no idea that we had run out of money and had no food left to eat. He had never invited us over and actually never invited us again. But on that night, he was obedient when God told him to invite us to eat. Even though he knew the house wasn't clean. Because he obeyed, we were not hungry. It makes me wonder how often I miss out on meeting other people's needs when I refuse to be hospitable because my house is messy. That night, we did not care that their house wasn't perfect. We were grateful beyond words that God was feeding his hungry children.
Worship was beautiful this week. God spoke volumes to me as we worshiped. It is beyond my comprehension that the God who created the oceans, the mountains, and the stars, wants and values a very intimate and personal relationship with me.
As you read this, spend a few minutes in prayer for The Crossroads. We have several families who have been hit hard this week. Spiritual warfare is a very real thing. I am burdened heavily this morning for a family in a major crisis. Pray that God will protect them from evil, and that He will bring peace and protection to their household.
Shawn did a great job with a sermon on tithing. I love how he focuses on how tithing is an opportunity to be a part of God's plan. He doesn't discuss budget shortfalls, or try to guilt people into giving. I liked that he met people where they were on giving. Many people that we are reaching have maxed out their credit cards, bought a home they cannot afford, drive vehicles out of their price range, and are drowning in debt. Shawn told people that he thinks they can give 10 percent, but if they just absolutely can't do that to begin with a smaller number. If you think you can give 1 percent, then stretch yourself and give 2. Then at the end of the year, raise that number. Don't not give just because you can't give 10 percent.
Of course, I bawled like a baby. Shawn shared one of the many amazing stories of God's provision from our early marriage. We were in school full time, paying our own way. He was on staff at a church that was paying a very small part time salary. One week we ran out of food. I'm sure there were a few staples in the cabinet, but we did not have anything left to cook for a meal. We could not go to the store until payday, but we thought "people fast for 3 days all the time, we are not going to starve." We went to a meeting at church that night and Butch Sorters, a man that was not a close friend at the time, approached us at the end of the meeting and invited us home for supper. His wife was furious with him when we showed up. Her house wasn't clean, and they were just eating hamburger helper, or something similar. She enjoyed visiting with us, but she was bothered by not having prepared for company.
After we ate, Butch offered us some food from their freezer. We saw God very literally meet our need. Butch had no idea that we had run out of money and had no food left to eat. He had never invited us over and actually never invited us again. But on that night, he was obedient when God told him to invite us to eat. Even though he knew the house wasn't clean. Because he obeyed, we were not hungry. It makes me wonder how often I miss out on meeting other people's needs when I refuse to be hospitable because my house is messy. That night, we did not care that their house wasn't perfect. We were grateful beyond words that God was feeding his hungry children.
Worship was beautiful this week. God spoke volumes to me as we worshiped. It is beyond my comprehension that the God who created the oceans, the mountains, and the stars, wants and values a very intimate and personal relationship with me.
As you read this, spend a few minutes in prayer for The Crossroads. We have several families who have been hit hard this week. Spiritual warfare is a very real thing. I am burdened heavily this morning for a family in a major crisis. Pray that God will protect them from evil, and that He will bring peace and protection to their household.
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