This week Shawn worked in children's ministry. I know, what senior pastor steps out of the pulpit to take a turn as an ordinary volunteer in kid's ministry? Shawn decided that since we have had a hard time filling slots, he would lead by example. Nothing says children's ministry is important more than the senior pastor taking the time to volunteer. It also gives the children the opportunity to get to know their pastor, to trust him enough to share their problems, and to be comfortable asking him about how to follow Jesus.
Since Shawn was volunteering in the children's area, I spoke to our congregation on the topic of international justice - specifically targeting the widespread problem of slave trading. Slave trafficking is currently the 2nd largest crime industry in the world, with an estimated worth of 32 BILLION dollars. There are at least 27 million people who are currently enslaved around the world.
I shared several scriptures that tell us that as believers we should seek justice for those who are oppressed. I thought I would post two of my favorites.
The first was Isaiah 1:17, "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows."
I love that first statements "learn to do good." There is so much I do not know about how to become involved in the battle against slave trafficking, but I can learn how to do good.
The second is Amos 5:23-24, "Away with your noisy hymns of praise! I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living."
I love that picture of becoming a part of a mighty flood of justice. Alone I am just a raindrop, but I can join with others under God's direction to become more. I had wanted to share this video yesterday, but wasn't able to get it to download to my computer. After watching this video about slave trafficking, you can look at the following websites for more information and ways to get involved: www.ijm.org or www.thea21campaign.org
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
18 ways to stay married 18 years
Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.
1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.
2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.
3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.
4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.
5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.
6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.
7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.
8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.
9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.
10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.
11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.
12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!
13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.
14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.
15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.
16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.
17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.
18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.
1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.
2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.
3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.
4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.
5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.
6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.
7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.
8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.
9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.
10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.
11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.
12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!
13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.
14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.
15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.
16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.
17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.
18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
18 ways to stay married 18 years
Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.
1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.
2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.
3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.
4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.
5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.
6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.
7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.
8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.
9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.
10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.
11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.
12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!
13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.
14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.
15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.
16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.
17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.
18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.
1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.
2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.
3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.
4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.
5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.
6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.
7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.
8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.
9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.
10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.
11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.
12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!
13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.
14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.
15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.
16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.
17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.
18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
What's Up with The Kemps?
It's been a busy season in our lives. I have had many thoughts about writing over the past month, but it seems that exhaustion wins out over the words. I am certainly looking forward to summer break! While I have a bit of time tonight, I'm going to catch up to the present moment, so that my readers at least have an idea of what's up with the Kemps.
Work
I am thrilled to only have 10 more days of school left. This particular group of first graders has been a little unique. Typically I have a high percentage of children who seemingly were born reading. This year my students have had to work hard to get to the magic level 16 text that is required by the end of first grade. I am excited that almost all of my students have far exceeded these expectations. I have seen students move mountains this year in order to read.
I have experimented a great deal this year with new teaching strategies. It seems that children are struggling more with memory loss and attention issues than I have seen in the past. The kids rarely retain anything that is taught in a whole group setting, and little taught in small groups. They have needed more individualized instruction than ever before. I have brought in tons of hands on, kinesthetic approaches. We have sang, clapped, cheered, jumped, hopped, and written our own songs, stories, and poems to remember stuff. I leave work everyday completely spent. However, in the end, the hard work has paid off. Every one of my students now reads well enough to be successful in second grade. I am still hopeful that someday God will lead me into a different career, but in the meantime I am attempting to be faithful where I am. There is definitely something to be said for having a job in tough economic times. I am certainly grateful that I have a means of providing for my family.
Family
Abby turned 5 last week. It seems like such a short time ago I was laying on my couch praying for her safety through long months of bedrest. She had a fabulous birthday. Shawn's mom and my dad and stepmom came out for her party. I was surprised that she wanted to have an exclusively family party. I expected her to want to invite everyone she knew. I finally realized that by not inviting friends, she was guaranteed all the undivided attention of her family. I guess that's pretty awesome for a 5 year old.
Grace enjoyed her theatrical production of 'The Wizard of Oz." She played a variety of supporting roles: a poppy, munchkin, oz citizen, tree, monkey, and crow. Her main night she played the role of the coroner, with a short solo. She was excited to stay on key for the entire performance. The grandparents were also able to attend the play. It meant a great deal to have family at her event.
Katie is working on her solo for the talent show. She plans to sing Addison Road's song, "What do I know of Holy." I am looking forward to her performance on Friday. She is staying busy loving on Abby and playing hard.
James is patiently waiting on a neurology appointment at Children's. Well, patiently may not be the right word. James had some complications with a migraine headache last week, and the doctor pulled him from athletics until he is able to see a specialist. His coaches are more than ready for him to be back in the swing of things. We are currently reviewing his schedule for his freshman year of high school. How can my baby boy be headed to high school in the fall? It seems strange that he is nearly grown. His 8th grade graduation is next week!
Shawn is working like a dog trying to balance two jobs. I admire his commitment to our family so very much. He is determined to do what is best for the church plant financially, and so he will be returning to his position of teacher's aide again in the fall. I know that right now it is pretty tough to be at work ready to work with kids by 7:15 and then still be working hard at church stuff late into the night. But he maintains a positive attitude, grateful that God has blessed him with the ability to work with me, to be involved with the families in the community, and to be in a position to minister to the teachers.
So how about me? I am missing my workouts! Over spring break, I did some trail running in old shoes. I came home with what is probably plantar fasciitis. This means that I have not been able to run at all. One of the best ways to help those feet heal is to sleep with them in a completely flexed position. Since I am too cheap to go to the doctor, I have used my brilliant Arkansas ingenuity to rig up a way to tie my feet into the correct position at night. I will confess that last night Shawn just couldn't contains the laughter any more, finally busting out with, "That is just too ghetto." Not exercising has added 7 pounds back onto my behind. I will have to get serious soon about returning to the gym! I have been sick for a couple of weeks and as soon as my cold clears up, I'll be ready to hit it hard.
I did well in my second semester of college. This semester I took a class titled, "Spiritual Formation and Worship." I learned much about spiritual discipline, and how lacking my spiritual growth tends to be. I enjoyed getting to research the discipline of worship, learning more about what it means to offer up praise and how God inhabits the praises of his people. I learned about praise being sacrificial, and about how to be thankful in all things. It was an amazing journey. This summer I will be continuing to work on my degree, taking "Christian History and Heritage." The title of this class seems a bit daunting. Then I have one more theology class left to take in the fall before I dive full fledged into my worship media concentration. I get crazy with excitement whenever I think about getting to study something about which I am so passionate.
Ministry
Last week our church participated in an awesome ministry opportunity. We had the chance to completely furnish a transitional apartment for a single mom and her 3 kids. I loved getting to hand her the key and show her around her new home. It was amazing to see how everything came together. If you are interested in reading more about this incredible project, check out Shawn's blog: blazingthetrail.blogspot.com.
The other big news at The Crossroads is our relaunch of the youth program. Our youth minister had to step down last year due to work commitments, and God has not yet raised up a replacement. We waited and waited, until finally Shawn and I decided that we would lead the youth. I mean, what's little youth ministry thrown into the rest of our crazy life, right? A small church in town, Calvary Baptist, is renting us their facilities on Sunday night, which has been a super location for working with the youth. The first week we brought in a young band. That was tons of fun. The next week we played games and Shawn talked about guarding your words. Then last week we took the kids to see "Soul Surfer" and eat pizza. I am enjoying getting to know the teens. I am especially looking forward to youth camp this summer! It has been nearly 10 years since I last went to youth camp. How cool will it be to go with my own teens and see God at work? I can't wait.
I hope this fills in some gaps about where I've been, and what God has been doing. I appreciate your prayers as we chase after God and seek to learn to love him more every day.
LaRissa
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A new friend for Abby
My youngest daughter, Abby, is a full blown sanguine personality. She loves people, thrives on crowds, and is devastated to spend time alone. Last night her big sister, Katie, was at a sleep over and the rest of the family was watching a grown-up movie. She cried and cried about watching Mulan alone without a friend.
When she woke up this morning, she was devastated to realize that James was sick, Katie was gone, and I had to take Grace to Anna for her trip to Six Flags. She was not happy to be facing a day of alone time.
I returned home today around 3, expecting to be greeted with cheers. Instead I found a stranger sitting in the playroom with Abby cheerfully playing wii. While playing in the yard this morning, Abby met a little neighbor girl and invited her home. Her parents said yes, and the little girl is still at our house nearly 8 hours later. Her dad has been by to check on her, and she's run home for a few minutes off and on, but most of the day she and Abby have been having a ball.
I think it is neat that today, God saw my little sanguine daughter's distress and brought her a new friend.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
tornado warning
It's been a stormy spring in North Texas. We have been inundated with thunderstorms and tornado warnings. Fortunately, the worst of the weather missed us this year. After a lifetime of storm warnings, I find that I am no longer easily scared. Unless there has been a tornado spotted within a short distance of my home, I continue life as usual.
This week as the tornado sirens went off and I continued calmly baking pies (after checking the radar and seeing that we were not in immediate danger), I wished that my faith in times of spiritual storms was that calm. When storms hit in life, I struggle so much with doubt and discouragement. I look forward to a day when my faith grows to the point that I am able to calmly and peacefully continue life no matter what kind of difficulties rage around me.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Don't Burn the Meringue
I have a long standing history of cooking disasters. Since the onset of severe migraines a few years ago, I have lost my ability to multi task. When cooking, this tends to lead to minor mishaps. A while back, I was baking a coconut cream pie for Shawn. This is his favorite pie, and can be used as a bribe to get me out of trouble and back into his good standing if necessary.
Proverbs 4:27 says, "Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil." I have great intentions about loving God more and seeking after him, but next thing I know I'm sidetracked again by my busy life. And when I lose my focus on God, then next thing I know I end up thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that are not glorifying to God.
So the moral from this? Don't Burn the Meringue! Stay focused on who is important and be vigilant in guarding your heart against evil.
After I put the pie into the oven to brown the meringue, I heard a nifty little tune playing in my mind. I sat down at the piano and all was lost. After several minutes I smelled delicious roasting marshmallows. I wondered which neighbors were having a cookout and thought about how much fun that would be with our kids. As the smell of roasting marshmallows grew stronger, I finally remembered my pies and ran to the oven. It would seem that meringue is quite flammable.
Since this was not an isolated instance, this Easter, I was determined to not catch my pies on fire. While the meringue was browning, I sat on a stool with my face pressed against the glass window. As soon as the meringue began to brown, I cracked the oven door to watch more closely. As I sat with my face stinging from the heat of the oven, I thought of a parallel between burning meringue and sin.
Proverbs 4:23 says,
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." As I thought about how carefully I was guarding against burning the meringue I thought about the need to guard my heart. I frequently find myself deep in sin without realizing that I have even stumbled off the right path. It's kind of like when I get distracted while cooking and next thing I know I have a small fire on top of my pie. I realized as I sat watching my pie that I need to work harder at being alert to temptation and seek to avoid that first step down the wrong path. Being vigilant is important in growing spiritually.Proverbs 4:27 says, "Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil." I have great intentions about loving God more and seeking after him, but next thing I know I'm sidetracked again by my busy life. And when I lose my focus on God, then next thing I know I end up thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that are not glorifying to God.
So the moral from this? Don't Burn the Meringue! Stay focused on who is important and be vigilant in guarding your heart against evil.
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