Last night our band from The Crossroads got together to practice for our launch service on Sept. 7. The worship set this time starts off with a really alternative, grungy guitar thing and frankly, I was not sure we could pull it off. In fact, I had the music for plan B with me just in case. We were trying this particular song just because the preacher wanted us too. I even rolled my eyes at him when he suggested it. That's my level of faith - right there - eye rolling at the preacher.
So we listened to the CD a couple of times and then the electric guitar kid takes off with the intro and the other guitar guys found their grooves and the organ sound that worship dude made me attempt on the keyboard slid into the gaps and WOW! One of those musical quantum leaps occurred. Suddenly the band was doing stuff that made no logical sense and could only be explained by God. At one point late in the worship set I very literally had an almost out-of body experience. I was playing the keys and watching my left hand cross over my right hand and play some cool thing up in the high register. I remember thinking - where is that hand going - what are those notes- this is really a little weird? I don't know what God has in store for The Crossroads, but He sure is taking care of the music and doing stuff that should be impossible for a new band to do.
On the way to school today, I was listening to the worship set on CD to try to learn some of the stuff that we didn't practice. I had such a strong sense of God's presence there in my car. He has been fairly silent with me for some time (probably because of my rebellion and refusal to surrender fully), but today He spoke again. As I was praying for the block party and the preview service, I had such a strong sense of the hugeness of what we are doing. God showed me that he is doing the loaves and fishes thing with us. In many ways - there's food in my freezer, my crockpot seems bottomless when company arrives, we have a new band that is doing incredible things, and a church plant that is about to launch. Today God showed me the scope of the future of that plant. I am so overwhelmed and humbled that my life gets to be intertwined with this great and mighty venture.
Then on a much more personal note, I began to beg God to free me from some stuff in my life that is keeping me from being fully surrendered to Him. That's when He spoke. (Not out loud, though I did look at the passenger seat just to make sure, it was that clear in my head.) "My beautiful, beautiful baby, when will you understand that I have made you weak so that I can be your strength! I LOVE YOU!" I did not like that answer. I want to be set free, but I loved that God finally explained why I am not free. There in that moment on Mantua Road this morning, I gave up fighting and rebelling (at least for today) and surrendered all. I had to spend some time in the car pulling myself back together again to be able to go to work today. God is doing great things and I am amazed that he is willing to use me. I can't wait to see the rest of the adventure. Who wants to come along for the ride?