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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

sippee cups and God

I hate cleaning house. Detest. Despise. Dread. I don't have enough negative adjectives in my repertoire to adequately describe my nasty emotions about cleaning. I do it because it must be done and I do it as well as possible because that's the right way to do it. However, anytime that I am cleaning, I am battling a particularly foul attitude. It's just how I am and haven't been able to change it in spite of many attempts to view cleaning in a more positive light.

Because of the foul attitude, I spend a lot of time praying while I'm cleaning. To confess and try to overcome the guilt associated with the negative attitude. Because of all the time I spend praying while cleaning multiplied by all the cleaning time involved in showing a house, God often speaks to me through the mundane tasks.

This week it was a sippee cup. NO JOKE! I was washing dishes....which I hate less than I used to so I guess that's progress. I was dumping and rinsing sippee cups....no big deal and tossing them in the dishwasher. Then I came to a long lost sippee cup. You parents out there know what I found inside...chunky, stinky, white, moldy cheese. So then I had to hold my breath and work for quite some time on cleaning up the cup so that it could be usable. That's when God got my attention and taught me a little lesson about sin.

You see, daily confession is like washing the fresh dishes. We confess our sins, get rinsed off and are good to go. Very quick, easy, and fairly painless. But the sin that we allow to fester and grow and hide becomes the stinky cheese. It is harder to totally rinse away, and it is a chore to completely remove it and become usable again. God desires a daily confession and cleansing from us so that we are constantly yielded and usable. When we allow sin to overtake us, it is much harder for God to use us.

There it is....a lesson about sin from a nasty, stinky, gross sippee cup.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Funny story from the Mexico Trip

I promised some funny stories from the trip. I'm pretty sure this is number 1.

Knowing that we might have to wait as long as two hours to cross back into the states, our missionary guide stopped at a gas station in Matamoras for us to all use the restroom. Now restroom accommodations are not quite the same in Mexico. In the ladies' restroom were two toilets, close by each other. My friend and I suddenly got to know each other a whole lot better as we were up close and personal using the restroom. When I finished, I did the typical public restroom flush - you know - push the handle down with your foot while standing as far away as possible. That is the only thing that saved me from a total drenching.

As soon as I flushed, water began spraying (gushing) up from the pipes behind the toilet. I choose to believe that it was clean water coming in, not pee water going out. The water sprayed up over my head, onto the ceiling, and back down all over me. I responded in a typical woman fashion - Screaming loudly while jumping up and down. (Freaking out) I was trying to escape the shower without opening the door to the restroom which would expose my friend to the parking lot. Finally, I could stand it no longer. I exited the restroom, still screeching, holding my arms out so they could begin dripping dry, and warning my waiting friends to avoid flushing.

Fortunately we had some wipees in the van and I was able to clean up a bit.

And the missionary....He stopped at the same restroom again the next day just for fun. But I stayed dry....knew not to flush:)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Monday Morning Update

This week, Shawn's coach, Sam Douglass, came in to preach since Shawn can't speak. I heard that he did an excellent job. I did not have the opportunity to hear him speak since I was in the children's area this week.

The band sounded awesome. You know - my readers might believe me more if just once I could honestly say that the worship set stunk or that it was riddled with mistakes. But every week is absolutely fantastic. We are definitely blessed with good musicians and a phenomenal worship dude. (I say that every week, too)

The children's lesson was rather interesting. Due to remodeling in the gym, I had to set up in a new location. It worked out fine, but it was more challenging than usual to capture the children's attention. My students this week were very young. All preschoolers. The lesson was about loyalty - an advanced abstract concept. Ummmm......pretty lame (my delivery, not the curriculum). We had fun, and I tried hard to help the children understand the concept, but my honest evaluation is that my lesson just pretty much stunk for this young age group. Oh well...better luck next time, right!

After the service everybody hung around to pack up - awesome to have so many helping hands! Then several of us ate at a new restaurant in Anna - cool that two Anna families ate with us - those are the friends we started praying for before we went into the church plant! It is so exciting to see the circle expanding!

I can't express my excitement about the church plant and all that God seems to have in store. I am blessed to get to be a part of this!

Mexico Mission Trip

This will be really long - I want to cover the trip thoroughly to have a complete record of the event. Feel free to skim if you are not terribly interested in the details.

For several years, we have traveled to Juarez to give away blankets at Christmas time. Because of border violence, our Juarez contacts discouraged us from coming there. So instead we stepped out on faith, made some new contacts and planned a trip to Matamoras - a border town south of Brownsville.

The adventure began Wednesday morning - early. We left from my house before daylight. Everybody threw their stuff into a trailer that was already loaded with nearly 700 blankets, tons of stuffed animals, and other miscellaneous items that God provided for the trip. About a mile from the house, Shawn flipped on the light in the van and began writing on his markerboard. (Because he has a cyst on his vocal chords and can't speak). He wrote, "Did anybody lock the trailer?" We stopped and checked and realized not only was the trailer not locked, it was not even closed. So we turned around and trekked back to the house, picking up the few items that had fallen out along the way.

We headed back out again and made the trip to Anna to pick up two more people, bringing the total number of travelers up to 11. Roadtripping with friends is always one of my favorite activities and this trip was no exception. We had a blast. I laughed hard and long. (However, it seemed that people were laughing more at me than with me.)

Van dogs were a disaster. We stopped at my brother's store in Saledo to tie the dogs on under the van to heat up. It was interesting to watch Robby and Shawn crawling around trying to find a good place to tie on the hot dogs. My brother laughed and laughed about the two rednecks. (He's one to talk) Unfortunately, the hot dogs fell off during the drive, and when we stopped to eat, we had none. Instead we ate Subway.

We arrived at the dorm in Brownsville only to find out that all the blankets that we had carefully packed in boxes would have to be taken out of the boxes and repacked in the trailer. We spent the evening unloading and reloading the trailer, preparing to cross the border the next morning. I was so impressed by the attitudes of the people I was working with. It was late. We had traveled many long hours. We were exhausted. But I heard no complaints. Everyone pitched in and worked hard to get the job done. This great attitude was characteristic throughout the entire trip. Attitudes make such a difference on mission trips. Being with so many positive people made the trip a pleasure.

The next morning we headed over with the trailer but were turned back at the border. So then we packed blankets in the van - under the seats - in every crevice and even in the seats so that we sat cross-legged on top of them as we crossed the border. We were blessed both days with green lights - which means that we were not stopped and inspected.

The missions pastor, Dwayne Spearman, from FBC Brownsville took us not to Matamoras but instead changed our plans and took us to a coastal fishing village - Las Higuerillas. That was the best decision on the trip! We rode about 60 kilometers down a bumpy, pot-holed highway to the village. As we approached our destination, the sea crept up close to the road on both sides. It was such an incredibly beautiful scene to see the ocean and the sand dunes. However, the poverty in the village was overwhelming. The homes were tiny, simple shacks thrown together with old lumber and driftwood. Some homes were not even entirely closed in on all four sides.

We stopped at the local mission and meet Pastor Keen and his beautiful wife Juana. Pastor Keen has been in the village for many years, coming originally from North Carolina. He is an elderly gentleman in failing health, with a very thick southern accent. At times I was not sure who was harder to understand, Pastor Keen with his thick southern accent or Juana speaking spanish. He was quite the interesting character - I'll have to save my Pastor Keen stories for another time.

At the mission, they have begun construction on dorms in hopes that mission teams will begin coming and staying on the peninsula to do mission work. There is no electricity in the village, but Pastor Keen has a generator for the mission. There is also no running water, but the outhouses at the mission were pretty nice as far as outhouses go. It was a new experience for some on the team.

We also met another missionary, a young man named Aaron. He was staying in the village with his fiance's family for a few weeks. He dedicated both days to helping us with our mission work and translating for us.

We handed out blankets and gospels of John in the village on the first day. One gentleman accepted Christ, and we made lots of positive contacts. Hopefully soon many of these people will visit the village mission. We quickly ran out of blankets and returned to the mission to eat a fresh seafood dinner prepared by Juana. Then we went down to the beach for awhile.

The next day we returned to the same village, but also had the opportunity to take a fishing boat over to one of the islands where there has been little mission work. When we arrived at the island, we realized that all of our translators were still back at the dock waiting for the second boat ride - about 45 minutes behind us. Shawn decided to take a brief reprieve from his silence in order to translate for us, and I'm pretty sure he did some unnecessary talking just out of relief to be able to speak. I was invited to stay on the island by a man who apparently was fascinated by my red hair.

That evening Aaron's future mother-in-law fed our team supper in her home. We all crowded into a tiny room probably about the size of my dining room - squashed on top of each other - and enjoyed a wonderful meal of fish, spaghetti, and oysters. This family had to borrow a generator so they would have electricity for us. I was moved by their generosity and hospitality. They gave up an entire day to prepare a meal and sacrificed to create comfortable accommodations for us.

On our way out, Dwayne stopped by the town square in Matamoras for us to see the Christmas decorations. The white lights were so beautiful, almost magical. Then we spent a couple of hours waiting in line to get back into the states.

We roadtripped back home and the great adventure was over. Before, I have been ready to get back home, but this trip was different for me. I could have stayed. I regretted having to leave before we formed strong relationships and before we were really able to deeply minister to the population there in Las Higuerillas.

I think I've done a pretty good job of recounting the events of the trip - minus a few funny stories due to time - but I just don't seem to be able to capture the overwhelming emotion that accompanied the event. It was not pity for the people's poverty that consumed me, but I was overwhelmed by the great need and hunger for the gospel. Many times as we handed out the gospel, the people stopped what they were doing to read. I realized that for many of them it was probably their very first time to own a part of the Bible. For many of them, they were reading the gospel of John for the very first time.

Every year I realize more deeply God's call to go to the nations. If we do not go, how will they hear? There are still languages that God created that have never been used to worship Him. Nations where there is no one who knows Jesus Christ. Who will go?

I'll have to take time some other day to share all the funny events - my friend Joel summed them up well as lessons we all learned- "Melody needs to perfect her spanish, Rachel needs to learn sign language, LaRissa discovered that in Mexico redheads have more fun, and Liz found out that next time she needs to dye her hair red."

To my friends from the trip who are reading - it was a memory of a lifetime - going to Las Higuerillas with all of you. I enjoyed every single moment! Even the ones where you were all laughing at me! I love you all. Thanks for being part of my family.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I lied

Yeah, I lied. Last night I said I was finished with the Crazy Love book, but this morning I woke up still meditating on some of the stuff in the last chapter that I decided to share. These are a few of my favorite quotes with a wee bit of commentary from me. Then I really am done with this book. First person to ask gets to borrow it :)

"We often have "aha!" moments but don't act; in fact, we're famous for it in the church." I laughed out loud at this one. He so nailed me with this. I have tons of great intentions but somehow not so much follow through. It's not "getting it" until you are doing it!!!!

"Is this the most loving way to do life? Am I loving my neighbor and my God by living where I live, by driving what I drive, by talking how I talk? I urge you to consider and actually live as though each person you come into contact with is Christ." UMMM....ooops......I don't really see the people I come into contact with in this way. Even though scripture clearly teaches the principle that whatever we do for those in need we do for Christ.

"We say things like, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through." I'm growing in this area....but I do still tend to want to have a plan B just in case God doesn't show up.

"Christians are like manure: spread them out and they help everything grow better, but keep them in on big pile and they stink horribly." OHHHH! HAAAAA! Do any names come to your mind??????? Are you growing stuff or stinking horribly? I didn't really like that thought!

"Most of us use, "I'm waiting for God to reveal His calling on my life" as a means of avoiding action. Did you hear God calling you to sit in front of the television yesterday? Or exercise this morning? We are quick to rationalize our entertainment and priorities yet are slow to commit to serving God." I'd never really thought about it this way before. I always thought waiting on God was - well- godly. But I could definitely be putting into more practice some of the explicit ministry commands in scripture. Such as loving my neighbor, caring for the poor, ministering to those in need, etc.

"Our view of the Holy Spirit is too small. The Holy Spirit is the one who changes the church, but we have to remember that the Holy Spirit lives in us. It is individual people living Spirit-filled lives that will change the church." We often pray for God to change churches. But the Holy Spirit lives in people. You and Me. We are the ones who have to be changed before the church will change. One believer at a time.

"The world needs Christians who won't tolerate the complacency of their own lives." Yeah...and it needs to begin with me.

I am excited about the changes ahead for the church. I am reading lots of authors who are advocating living scripture. Literally. These men are leading believers to practice genuine faith. I can't wait to see what God is going to do as we begin to seek Him in this way. When pew sitting is no longer enough for any of us. When we become hungry to change the world. When we are desperate for intimacy with Christ. When we love like Jesus commanded us to love. Hopefully the world will never be the same again. Praying that I will begin listening, obeying, and living Christ. Today.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Crazy Love, the end

I know some of you were wondering if I would ever finish this book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I had great intentions of reading a couple of chapters a week and reviewing them in some sort of organized manner. But then life got really busy, and I didn't. This blog is long and rambles some, but hang in there. I'll close with my favorite quote from the book. Remember that yesterday I warned you that this was an uncomfortable chapter.

Until recently I thought I had a pretty decent grasp on what a Christian looks like, talks like, acts like, smells like....after all, I've been in church since 9 months before I was born. I've even been in the ministry my entire life. But gradually over the last five years as I read the Bible all the way through for the first time (yes, I'm slow...leave me alone), I began to see so many new things about following Christ. And then in the last year or so, God has just taken everything that I thought I knew, tossed it out, and pretty much started over again.

Crazy Love is one of the books that I've read this year that really challenged me about the reality of my faith. Is my faith something I proclaim or is it something that I live? Do I read the Bible for knowledge or do I read the Bible as an instruction manual? Do I really take God seriously when He gives instructions for life or do I think that some verses just don't really apply to me - especially living here in America? Are there verses that I've skimmed without even attempting to apply?

Chapter 8 - "profile of the obsessed" is the chapter that even if you do not plan to purchase the book, you should run by Lifeway, grab a copy and speed read this chapter and evaluate yourself. I was really uncomfortable with all this stuff. And prior to the read, I would've said that I was obsessed with God.

I was especially challenged about money and the poor. Jesus talked a whole lot about the poor and taking care of the poor and oppressed. He talked a whole lot about financial responsibility and good stewardship. Now, before I prayed this through, I thought I was in pretty good shape here. I tithe regularly - which money goes to the church - which in turn is funneled into appropriate people-helping channels. I even occasionally - a least a couple of times a year - do some special missions projects to help the poor. I gave up my dream home and downsized to an older home for financial reasons. I drive reasonable vehicles, and most of the time spend within my means. But then I prayed and kind of wish that I hadn't. I feel really convicted about how much of my budget I spend on me and how little I spend on others. I began to feel pretty convicted about how much stuff I own, and how much time it takes me to manage it all - time that could be better spent in ministry maybe? I feel pretty convicted about how often I swipe my credit card to buy things that I want but can't really afford. Then, I felt even more convicted about not having relationships with any genuinely poor people. NONE!!!!!

Luke 14:12-14, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers, or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." BOOM!!!! talk about conviction - IT HAS NEVER - EVER OCCURRED TO ME TO TAKE THIS VERSE LITERALLY!!!! So I began to contemplate who I could invite to such a dinner party and realized NOBODY - I Don't know anybody who really fits into this verse.

Like most Americans, I surround myself with people of comfortable means. People with good health. People who return favors and who love me in return. Good people. Nice people. And not that I should not spend time with any of these people - but something is wrong that I do not have any way of literally living out Jesus' commands about caring for the poor.

There was so much more in this chapter - stuff about service with a good attitude, humility in the face of various forms of pride, being consumed with safety at the expense of being used by God, and developing an intimate walk with Christ. Definitely worth taking 30 minutes and reading. Or just read the big print about characteristics of an obsessed person (10 minutes)!

Chapter 9 is a series of case studies about people who lived lives characterized by their Crazy Love for God. And the final chapter is simply a wrap-up of the entire book.

This book was not what I expected at all. I expected a warm fuzzy book about loving God and learning how to worship Him. Instead I feel like I just got the band-aid ripped off a large oozing wound. This was a painful read for me as I entered into it open and willing for God to change me. I feel a little overwhelmed by how far I have left to go and stunned by how far off the mark my Christian walk was for so very long. It's like getting lost in the woods at sundown and trying to find your way back to the highway.

Now, don't misunderstand me here. This was also one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I am excited about the journey that Crazy Love has inspired in my heart. A journey to find the Christianity that Jesus invented instead of the Christianity that I learned in the American Church. To sort through all the stuff that I "know" to see what is real and what needs to be left behind.

Here's a quote from chapter 8 that just absolutely sums this all up for me. Especially in light of heading out on a mission trip on Wednesday. "Jesus is asking you to love as you would want to be loved if it were your child who was blind from drinking contaminated water; to love the way you would want to be loved if you were the homeless woman sitting outside the cafe; to love as though it were your family living in the shack slapped together from cardboard and scrap metal."

Picturing that? Your child in desperate need? And how would you want somebody to love them. Praying for us all to learn to love like Jesus.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Monday Morning Update

Is it Monday again already? Christmas has come and gone. One week of Christmas break is already over and I haven't done any of the projects that I had intended to take care of over the break.

So for what has become the traditional Monday Morning Update - I really am excited to begin seeing several families start to grow some roots with the Crossroads. It's neat to see people catching the vision and wanting to be a part of the family. In my limited wisdom, I wish that we were growing a little faster. But in God's infinite wisdom we seem to be growing deeper. Of course 3 baptisms, a few more professions of faith, one guy licensed to the ministry, and several families starting to get plugged in are not exactly poor results for a church that is not quite yet 6 months old.

Speaking of licensing to the ministry. I was really sad to say goodbye to my good friend and church planting intern, Brad, today. He was such a strong reminder of God's timely provision for our church. However, it is awesome to see people pursuing God with all that they are and chasing after their dreams. Even when their dreams take them on a new journey. Brad will be attending seminary in Waco and preparing for a lead role in ministry.

Shawn's sermon series about the real Jesus has been so incredible. It is amazing as his wife to see God take him and use him to speak such truth. He has always been a gifted speaker, but it seems that maybe now God is going even beyond Shawn's own ability to discern truth and to communicate it effectively. God seems to be doing some supernatural stuff in my husband's life. I am excited to see him being surrendered to God and to see just how God is using him.

Loved the worship set this week. (do I sound like a broken record?) Seems like I always say that. I did, however, really miss two of our guitar guys this week who were unavailable to play with us. We are praying for some more musicians so that we can cover for each other when we have to be out. Yet, God's spirit is not bound up in how many guitar players we have or whether the keyboard player is hitting all the right notes to be able to move in a service. God moves among people who are hungry for his presence and so we are very blessed every week to experience amazing worship.

This afternoon we loaded 638 blankets and tons of stuffed animals to prepare for The Crossroad's first mission trip to Mexico. We will be leaving Wednesday. We will be going door to door handing out blankets and gospels of John as we lay groundwork for a church plant that is being started. How incredible is it that a baby church is already going to help out another church!

Today I was eating buttermilk pie and visiting with a family that's been with us since the very beginning. We were talking about how exciting it is to be in church planting. Very low pressure, but very focused energy on making our lives count. I just don't think I could ever go back to just sitting in a pew ever again. I love the active, passionate, hands on, hard work of planting. I was made for this mission.

Just a confession: Way back in the day when we were doing 40 days of purpose at Hagerman, God began to speak to me about getting ready physically for a mission that he had in store for me. I giggled and dismissed Him. (Always a bad idea, by the way) Today I remembered what He said as I was helping to move the countless heavy boxes of blankets. It may be time to schedule some workouts into my busy schedule.

Warning - I have just about finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This last bit of the book really nailed me hard and challenged me about my ideas of Christianity. Tomorrow I'm planning to share that - so if you don't like the heavy, convicting blogs you have been warned.