Every Day

I awoke this morning giddy with excitement about going into mexico to do mission work. I am always anxious to see God's hand. Already I have seen Him at work and I can't wait to see more

As I looked into the mirror, trying to blowdry my hair in a big hurry, God spoke.

"Every Day"

Me - "what?"

God "Every Day"

Me - "what are you talking about?"

God "You are on mission for me EVERY DAY. Be this giddy and excited EVERY DAY. I am ALWAYS at work around you. LOOK for me. Be this hungry for my presence EVERY DAY. This day is not unique because you are crossing a border. This day is unique because you are living expectantly."

Me - "wow"

Mexico December 30 2009

We left north Texas last night to beat the bad weather. Fortunately, roads were clear all the way in to Austin where we spent the night in the family life center of Anderson Mills Baptist Church. We appreciated our good friend, Aaron Franklin, making arrangements for us at the last minute.

This morning, I had the chance to run 3 miles before we pulled out. We were blessed at McDonalds. The manager gave us 50 percent off our meals and let the drivers eat for free.

After many hours in the car, we finally arrived at our dorms in Brownsville where we will be staying. For me, it is a beautiful sight to see the 200 shoeboxes all together for the first time stacked high along the tables. We have tons of extra items to take in as well and probably a small blanket for each orphan.

It was a beautiful moment as we were sorting to be able to look at my 11 yer old daughter and say, "I need you to sort and organize all the girl boxes," then to turn around and see that she had worked with some other ladies to "make it so."

I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds. God's love for the nations is incredible to behold.

OH I'M ANGRY NOW!

My body stores fat like a grizzly bear preparing for hibernation. I don't know why, but at 25, my metabolism curled up and absolutely died. The good news is that in the last ten years, it's not gotten much worse, but I still gain weight like crazy. For me, losing weight is like prying a lollipop from my 3 year old daughter's mouth. Good luck! For the last 10 years, I've used this metabolism issue as an excuse for toting around about 50 extra pounds. I had come to peace with the fact that God did not create all of us to be skinny people.

Knowing my family's history of diabetes and heart disease, I started working out about 6 months ago. I lost about 10 pounds, bringing my two year weight loss total up to around 25 pounds. That's great, right? Except that now I'm just plain mad. Ticked off. Hacked.

I went home for the holidays for 3 days. I ate anything I wanted, taking in approximately 2500 calories a day (Yes, I count my calories in my head subconsciously - too many years of eating issues, I guess). I came home with a new jacket for running at night, an armband to store my ipod, and 4 extra pounds.

At first, I was horribly upset. Then I was defeated. Why work hard if I can't even maintain the results? Is it really worth all the effort? I liked being lazy.

This morning I forced myself onto the weight machine. It is important to understand that I hate lifting weights. I can't listen to music while lifting because the bad words in my head are too loud for me to hear the music. I was about halfway through when I began to figure how many calories the average person has to consume to gain one pound. And then I gained 4 on what I ate? Oh, I got mad! I was slamming weights like nobody's business in the playroom.

I am done being owned and controlled by my body. I will not roll over and give up just because it works in strange and mysterious ways. I will not give up working out, and I will lose those 4 pounds.

Now nobody panic, I am not attempting purging or anything else unhealthy. I did workout 3 times today, attempting to shock my body into dumping the pounds. Sometimes when I hit a wall, I can push through it by putting my body into overdrive on working out.

My intention is that I will be healthy. I will not give in to defeat and discouragement. I will have my body fit and healthy and ready for whatever and wherever God takes me next.

Monday Morning Update 12.28.09

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband? You see, he has struggled hard with materialism over the years. (I did too, I'm just talking about him because it's less intrusive into my own issues.) I remember when he wanted the biggest, nicest, best stuff. I remember how deprived and frustrated he felt when we spent years in absolute poverty. I was there when he wanted the nicer house, and thought success was at least partially measured in dollars.

Today that man stood in church and preached about rethinking materialism at Christmas. He talked about giving our children less stuff so that we can have more resources left for serving the "least of these" as commanded in scripture. Last fall, we had a scare when we thought our house was on fire, and we both realized, "It's just stuff." Ever since then we have been trying hard to ditch as much of our stuff as possible so that we will have more free time and resources for ministry. As I listened to him speak emotionally about the need to change our habits so that we are not teaching our children to worship stuff, I was so humbled by how God has changed his life. I love how God is using mission work to teach him about what exactly is important in life. Today, I was proud to be that man's wife. A man who shares my heart and passion for serving God.

At the very end of the service, the children came in to share about their secret mission project they've worked on all month. They have collected money for the orphanage in Mexico and made gifts for all 200 orphans. It was cool to hear them talk about what they were doing and why. I love that even our children have a part of the vision of The Crossroads to Love God, Love People, and Reach the World. (yes, I know Shawn says rock. I like reach, and it's my blog.)

After church we had lunch with several other families at a new member's house in Anna. I love seeing our church members extend hospitality to each other. It is beautiful to watch God at work. I am blown away by how well God is making this church plant thing work, as long as I am obedient and just go along for the ride. I love reaching new people and seeing God change their lives. It's exciting. I am glad that excitement is the best adjective for my ministry. Or maybe awed.

Our mission team will be leaving a day early to miss out on winter weather. Remember to pray for our team while we are traveling Tuesday and Wednesday and while we are in Mexico on Thursday and Friday.

Beautiful family

This morning as I stumbled through my mother-in-law's house, I was struck by how beautiful family truly is. Her home is about 1200 square feet, so when we descend on her it's a bit crowded.

Every bed was full, there were people sleeping on couches,in the floor, and in the recliner. There was an air mattress in the kitchen piled high with little girls. My brother in law fled the madness by sleeping on a pallet in the beauty shop.

Seeing the crowd reminded me that many years ago, I thought we would never have any children. Instead God has greatly blessed us with chaos and beauty.

Seeing all the sleeping bodies this morning - literally on every surface availablle - struck me this morning as stunningly beautiful. It made me remember how good God has been to me.

Christmas rethought

As a child, my family ceased celebrating Christmas when I was 8. When I had children of my own, I overcompensated just a little. For example, it wasn't uncommon for the kids to ask, "Are we done yet?" while opening their gifts. There were many years where the only time a toy was touched was on Christmas. The kids got so many new things that they couldn't even remember all they had.

This year we made a very drastic and deliberate decision to rethink gifting. We bought a PS3 for the whole family, then each kid got about 4 gifts under the tree. We made this decision for several reasons. We wanted to stay within our cash budget so that January would not bring any additional credit card bondage. We also wanted to practice moderation so that we could free up more funds for helping others. We also realized that our consummerism is causing unfair workig conditions in other countries.

I was concerned by this shift, and honestly at the last minute I added a few extra items. However, one of our main shipments of items from Amazon did not arrive on time. The kids had less to open than I had anticipated.

So what were the results? My children appreciated every single item. They were not overwhelmed. They couldn't wait to try out their new stuff. They had more time to focus on hanging out together and playing.

I would say that they did not miss the lost in the mail items AT ALL. This made me realize just how seriously I have misjudged the amount of stuff needed to create a great Christmas for my children.

I have bought into the lie that kids need tons of toys for Christmas to be successful and that you suck as a parent if you don't get them as much as their friends. I am beginning to understand that the truth is that less can be more. The kids can dig in and enjoy their new stuff more when they don't get quite as much.

We are enjoying our time as a family. May your Christmas be blessed with love, laughter, and peace.

Monday Morning Update 12.21.09

I have to say that on this Monday morning I am beyond exhausted. We have been running hard, working late into the night, and getting up at crazy early hours to pull off our weekend event, "Your Hometown Christmas." The drive through lighting display had lots of plywood cutouts - all painstakingly painted by hand. The band played, we gave away cookies and hot cocoa, and made pictures with Santa. The event came together well, after a few minor issues with lighting on the first night. We met lots of new families and enjoyed being out in our community yet again. I will say that I am voting that our next band event should be in warmer weather. The frost forming on my keyboard as I played was quite chilly on my bare fingers.

Services at the Crossroads yesterday were great. I love to see our people loving on each other. We gathered up our shoeboxes of gifts for the Mexico orphanage. Funny story - I checked my paper at least three times before I went shopping. I would have sworn that it said I was shopping for a 2 year old little girl. $70 later, I had a shoebox full of really adorable stuff. I got ready to attach my label and it said "2 year old BOY" What? Oh no! I had to laugh, it's such a me thing to do. I packed my girl box anyway for an extra just in case we need it, and then I will need to make a box for my little boy.

Shawn brought it with the message this week. He did a great job of clearly explaining why Jesus was born, and why He had to be sacrificed for our sins. He talked plainly about the difference between being nice and being set free from your sin. I love how he makes God's Word plain and easy to understand - even for our congregation who has never been in church before.

After church we attended a welcome home party for one of our friends who has been away at basic training. He and his family will be stationed in upstate New York after the first of the year. I had a great time meeting all the new people at that event. At one point, Shawn realized I had disappeared. He knew to go find the largest group of strangers, and that's where I would be. He's even starting to accept that as normal - that his crazily shy and self-conscious wife is now in the middle of the crowd meeting new people. I am still insecure and lack self-confidence, but I love the diversity and uniqueness of God's greatest creation - people. I am fascinated by how different and yet still beautiful God has made us all.

Last night, a large group of ladies went down to Allen to do some Christmas shopping. I will say up front that shopping is not my favorite. I am a total goal-oriented shopper, and so shopping with large groups is really not something that I tend to do. However, I really did enjoy the night with the ladies. It was good to connect with them and to watch my old friends getting to know some of my newer friends. Another funny thing last night - I walked alone down to the Gamestop store to do a little shopping. The ladies came to pick me up for dinner, and they laughed about having to wait a long time. When they arrived, no one in the store was shopping, they were all gathered around the cash register visiting with me about their children and families and what games they felt were appropriate for what ages. In the 15 minutes I was in the store, I had met all of them and found out about their children and families! (I'm laughing at this - who does that?) Yet again I took a step back and was shocked by how God has changed my personality. Sometimes it's a little freaky, even for me. No wonder it's a little weird to my friends and family.

I enjoyed dinner with the ladies at Uncle Julio's. It was a first time for me. It was good - a little pricey, but good. The bummer is that I had a gift card - at home on the counter! Our last stop of the night was Target. I was surprised that they are putting out bikinis already. It's weird enough for Christmas stuff to be out in October, but I have gotten used to that. But to have swimsuits out in December? That's just really, really weird. The good news is that my bikini boot camp video is coming in the mail from Netflix. I'll be ready! (Not really, y'all this is a joke, my four baby, glow in the dark white body does not belong in a bikini) And yes, I finished most of my Christmas shopping, I just have a few small things left to get today and tomorrow.

Bottom line? It was a great, but busy weekend.