Crowder/Tomlin Concert

Saturday morning began way too early. I was out late Friday night watching "Wolverine"! (Sorry, I have to pause for just a minute to yell WOOOOO!!!!) So when my body woke up a little before 5, I ignored it and stayed in bed till 6. I had to run some errands at Wal-mart, work on stuff for children's ministry, and do a bit of housework before we left at 10:30.

The concert was an outdoor event. Most of the day, the rain was a fairly light drizzle. Drizzle doesn't really bother me. I was just vain enough to be disturbed by my hair getting messed up and having to wear ugly rain panchos. Yes, I know, God is still working with me on my vanity. However, three times the storm sirens sounded and we had to evacuate into nearby buildings. The first two evacuations were fairly short lived, and we were able to quickly return to the concert.

Sanctus Real really rocked the place. I had not seen them live. Loved them! I wasn't as crazy about Flyleaf. I like their stuff on the radio, but they did lots of screaming at this concert and that's hard for me to understand. However, I was very interested in her story of how she became a follower of Jesus Christ, but then we were evacuated again because of storm sirens and were unable to hear the rest of her story.

By the third evacuation, I was just ticked. Not at the concert people. They were doing their best to keep the crowd safe, but I was just a little ticked at the weather maker. Yes, God. I mean, come on....I spent big bucks on these tickets and was not getting to worship! Was God really going to let all that money go to waste? Yes, it's embarrassing to admit.... I was frustrated that God let us have bad weather when all I wanted to do was to worship Him!

So I am trying to hide my frustration with God that I know is way so not cool. It's embarrassing to be with your church friends and be ticked at God. I finally got out my iPOD and began listening to all my "rain" songs. I came to Tomlin's "My Chains Are Gone." This line stuck with me, "And like a flood, his mercy rains, unending love, amazing grace." This was about the time rain was moving across the football field in blinding sheets.

God got my attention pretty good at that point.... his mercy rains on us like a flood.... HELLO! ARE YOU NOT WATCHING????? That's when my frustration turned to worship. If God's mercy rains down on me like that rain was pouring in sheets on that field.... that's some pretty amazing mercy. The popping lightning is the only thing that kept me from walking right out into the pouring rain to fully experience the moment. Then God spoke to my frustration, "I AM NOT A GOD WHO CAN BE MANIPULATED, PLANNED, SCHEDULED OR BOUGHT. I DESERVE YOUR WORSHIP EVERY DAY AND EVERY MOMENT. YOU DO NOT NEED A TICKET TO MEET WITH ME." Oh. I was assuming that somehow the money I spent on the tickets made God more likely to show up. God was reminding me that He is available for free. Anytime.

Rain let up and we did get to see Crowder and Tomlin. It was absolutely an incredible night of worship for me. I loved being able just to let go and worship. And in case I ignored God's voice earlier, one of speaker Chan's points was that "God cannot be manipulated." That was pretty wow cause that was precisely the word that God had used with me in dealing with my sinful attitude. Then Tomlin emphasized his line, "Like a flood, his mercy rains" in response to the weather. So I was pretty sure that the moment earlier under the bleachers at the football stadium was no coincidence.

The night ended with fireworks. My friend Liz noticed something pretty spectacular. She said that when the fireworks first went up there was a single light, but then they spread out into a wide-reaching beautiful pattern. She said it's like the gospel. As you share God's love with others and they in turn share with others, it becomes a beautiful light that cannot be contained.

Bottom line? Wet, cold, shivering.....but amazing worship experience. Would not have traded any of it....not even the rain. On the way home got some Starbucks. Nothing like the perfect end to the perfect evening :)

Another Rainy Day

If you're tired of hearing me rattle on about the rain, then feel free to skip this blog. For the rest of you...here it is.

Today I sat in Memaw's living room and watched a big storm roll in. There's something unique about the sound of the wind whipping through the tall pine trees. The sky darkened and the rain pounded the ground outside the open windows. I love the smell of rain just as it begins to fall and especially love the smell of wet pine trees.

As I sat and watched the storm, I began to think of how often I have used rain as an analogy for God's presence this year. Then I thought about how varied rain is. There's drizzly rain that mostly just gives you frizzy hair. There's the slow, steady rain that nourishes the grass and really replenishes the moisture. There's the cold, hard, driving rain that drives you indoors to seek a warm fire. There's the quick summer storms that invoke a touch of fear and a lot of awe with their lightening shows.

The longer I thought about all the different types of rain, the more I was amazed at our Creator. He just never does things exactly the same way twice in nature. It made me wonder a little bit about how He moves among His people. It seems that there is a lot of variety there as well. I have certain expectations about how God is going to move in Anna. Maybe instead I should just hang out and see what God can do and marvel at all the different ways that He rains out His presence on His people.

Looking forward to a superb day at The Crossroads tomorrow. Can't wait to get caught up with everybody and to finalize mission trip plans. It's cool to be really excited to come back home after Christmas and to be filled with anticipation about what God's got in store for the new year.

It was raining again!

Here's a brief update on my week so far for those of you who have texted me asking how it's going. Work, work, and more work. My room is close to ready. Tomorrow we will spend time examining our curriculum and making lesson plans. I have honestly enjoyed hanging out with my new team of teachers. I think we are going to really work well together. I am finally starting to feel some excitement about changing jobs. It has also been fun to have corporate lunch hours this week. We have actually gone to restaurants, ordered, and completely chewed our food. How fun! (For those of you who don't know much about teachers, we typically get about 15 minutes to eat by the time we drop off our students in the cafeteria and get back to our eating spot. I usually have no idea what my food tasted like, and usually I can't even remember later what I ate.)

Now on to deeper, more insightful ponderings. Both days this week, it has rained on me on the way to work. Every time that I feel rain now, I am reminded about God's presence. (see "worship in the dark" if you are a new reader) Today it poured. The closer I got to Anna, the harder it rained. I do tend to be a bit sarcastic in my spiritual walk and mentioned to God that when I asked Him for rain, I did not really mean liquid water falling from the sky.

But seriously, as the rain poured down, my visibility became very limited. I thought about how it is when God is raining down his presence on his people. You have to really focus your vision on God and not allow yourself to become distracted by the "stuff" around you. You become less scattered and more alert to God and what He is doing around you.

Then next thing I knew, my car was sliding around so I had to slow down. Is that not also true when you are experiencing a "wow" God moment? You have to slow down and sometimes even stop in order to fully experience God and His amazing presence. If you keep moving full steam ahead, sometimes you just miss it.

By the time I finally entered the building this morning, I was dripping wet, completely soaked up to my knees from the rain blowing in under my umbrella. Then I thought about that for a while. Sometimes in my walk with Christ I only get soaked up to my knees. I withhold large portions of my life from him and miss out on tons of awesome moments with God. In this church planting stuff, I don't want to just be halfway committed. I want to be all the way in. When God is pouring out his Spirit. I want to get soaked. With His Spirit - not so much with the rain!

More about the rain

This morning the rain was pouring down, and in the early morning quiet I sipped my coffee slowly as I opened my Bible for my quiet time. Zechariah 10:1 , "Ask the Lord for the rain...." Can you believe that? Not only was it raining (if you don't understand my wow, see "worship in the dark") but then I opened up my Bible and the very first verse that I read was about rain. I think God may be trying to tell me something?

I spent the morning praying for God to pour out his presence and his grace and his mercy and his love on Anna like a torrential rain. To flood us with his Spirit. To fill us up completely with His love. I am excited to see how God will move in the services at the Crossroads this weekend. I can't wait to meet God in worship!

Just another note - God has daily reaffirmed my calling to teach in Anna. Every day this week I have had incredible "God encounters" with people that have no explanation other than God has already been at work.

Continue praying for the church plant. Pray for us all to guard our hearts against temptation and to walk in light, carefully following God's footprints.

raindrops are fallin' on my head

This morning, the house is totally silent except for the dripping of the coffee pot. (Thank you God for caffeine for those of us who apparently never sleep!) When I woke up, I walked through the house looking at my sleeping children. James's legs are hanging off the end of the couch. Grace is curled in a ball on top of her comforter (she hates making up her bed). Katie wandered into my bed during the night is hogging my side of the bed. - Which would be why I am up early - Abby is upside down in the middle with her feet across Katie's face. I am reminded that I am so blessed with beautiful children. God has been really good to me.

The other sound that is breaking up the stillness of the morning is the sound of rain hitting the roof and dripping from the eaves. I love to listen to rain on the roof. When I was a little girl, I would go visit my grandparents and listen to rain on the tin roof. There is nothing else quite as relaxing and soothing to me. I used to love to sit on the porch and watch the rain dripping off the roof and making puddles in the yard. I really loved dancing in the rain and splashing in the puddles.

Last night (early this morning - about 1:30 - actually) I fell in to bed exhausted and discouraged. I woke up before 6 and could not go back to sleep and I was tired and whiny. But then I began to listen and heard the rain. It was great to wake up and hear the rain falling. I love rain anyway, but especially since the other day when God got me up to enjoy the storm with Him. (See "worship in the dark" blog) Rain has started to be a sign for me of God's promise of His presence for His people. When I hear rain, I remember God's promise pour out His Spirit on His people. Very specifically, today, in these quiet early morning hours, I absolutely feel God pouring out His presence on me.

Who wants to DANCE with me in the rain?

Worship in the dark.

It was a late night. I went to bed and stared at the ceiling for a couple of hours waiting on my coffee to wear off. I replayed the events of the day in my head, and was reminded by how blessed I am with great friends who love God and desperately want to serve Him. Somewhere around midnight, I finally drifted off to sleep.

At 4:30 God woke me up to pray. My first response is always so spiritual, "Are you kidding, it's dark outside, I should be asleep. Do you really need me to pray right now? I can pray just fine in the morning." My second response was obedience. As I was praying for the close friend who needs God's hand today, I began to meditate on Job 26:7-14, "God stretches the northern sky over empty space and hangs the earth on nothing. He wraps the rain in his thick clouds, and the clouds do not burst with the weight. He shrouds his throne with his clouds. He created the horizon when he separated the waters; he set the boundaries for day and night. The foundations of heaven tremble at his rebuke. By his power the sea grew calm. By his skill he crushed the great sea monster. His Spirit made the heavens beautiful, and his power pierced the gliding serpent. These are some of the minor things he does, merely a whisper of his power. Who can understand the thunder of his power?"

As I was praying, I was contemplating the power of God, His ability to control situations. Some of you know that this is a passage that I have been praying through for a year now in preparation for church planting. As I was contemplating the unfathomable truth that everything that I have ever seen God do in my lifetime is but only a whisper of God's power, thunder began to roll in the distance. As I prayed longer, the thunder grew louder. I began to get excited about "who can understand the thunder of his power". I want to see "the thunder" of God's power. The more I thought about God's power, the louder the thunder became. Worship broke out in the darkness of my bedroom as I began to see God's hand at work in the church plant and in my life, and in the life of the people around me - and realized that "I ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Then the rain began to fall. I heard the first slow drops of rain hitting the roof and rolling down my window. Then the rain began to fall faster and harder. It was as if God was letting me know that He is prepared to "rain down" His presence on His people. I want to be in the middle of that rain. When the drops fall, I want the very first one to splash over me. I can't wait to see how God is going to refresh us, cleanse us, renew us, and make us whole as He begins to work around us. I can't wait to see the people that God is going to redeem, and I am so excited and humbled to be a part of what God is doing.

Gradually as I listened to God and to the rain and the rumbling thunder, I understood that God has great and mighty things in store for my friend. I finally drifted back off to sleep as dawn broke. I can't wait to see what God is going to do next. I am so glad that I did not miss worshipping in the dark this morning as the storm rolled in to illustrate that verse that I love. I'm so glad that God woke me up to share that moment with Him.