Starting with a big disclaimer. I feel like crap, so if what I say does not make sense, that would explain why.
I am currently reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. Several years ago, I heard him speak at a worship event and was enthralled by his authenticity and his passion for worship. I did not know what to expect from his book, but I am pleased to say that I am surprised, delighted, and convicted by his insights into God and worship.
For me, chapter 4 was really convicting. Chan talked about the hallmarks of a lukewarm believer. Although I would say that I have made great strides forward toward loving God with a consuming passion, there are still many areas that I would rank as lukewarm. Chan's statement that, "God is not interested in people who fake it" was especially convicting to me. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be authentic and live out a very real faith that later I look back and go, "oops, that was fake."
Then there's this statement, "Are you satisfied with being 'godly enough'"? I think that lots of times I am. I am satisfied with "godly enough". I try hard to live a good life and be faithful and that should be good enough. But God does not call us to the "good enough" life. He calls us to surrendered lives.
There were pages of examples of painfully familiar characteristics of a lukewarm believer. Way too many to list here. Some areas I felt good about, but some....well.....Let's just say that I guess I've still got lots of growing left to do. If you want the specifics, you'll have to sneak a peek in my book at my notes. There's a limit to how much I want to out myself online.
I did agree with Chan on the goals of the American Church, "I quickly found that the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity. The goals of American Christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously is rarely considered. Most of us want a balanced life that we can control, that is safe, and that does not involve suffering." I want more than a nice life....I want the big adventure, the amazing, the incredible, the beautiful....I want God....even if it's a little bit scary to lose control.