This afternoon while Shawn was in the bank, I grabbed a Bible that was laying in the car. I was flipping pages and landed on the genealogy in the first chapter of Matthew . Honestly, I have read these verses in great detail and even cross referenced each individual listed. I promise, scouts honor. Once. Since then I usually just skip those verses and move on to "more important" stuff. Cause who really cares about a long list of unpronouncable names!
Today I was skimming back through that list of names. Abraham, Isaac, Judah, Rahab, Boaz, Ruth, David, Solomon, the list goes on. Some of these were famous.... icons of the faith, some of the people on the list are mere blips in our history. But they all hold one thing in common. They were the ancestors of Christ.
And another thing they hold in common. None of them were perfect. Abraham fled to Egypt and made some HUGE mistakes while there. Isaac repeated several of his father's lies. Judah slept with his son's widow, Rahab was a whore, Boaz was the son of a whore, Ruth was an unloved foreigner, David was a murderer, Solomon was a womanizer. But God used them all, many of them in great and mighty ways.
I was reminded that my value and my worth to God is not contingent on me becoming perfect. Or good enough. Many times in my life I have postponed following God with the excuse that I am not ready. I am not talented enough. I am not pure enough. I am not wise enough. I do not know enough. Other people are more qualified. But as I was reading through the list of people God used to bring His Son into existence, I was reminded that God is able and willing to use me in the midst of my human failures and struggling. And it is as I am used by God that I will learn to see Him better and love Him more and become more like Him. It is in the surrendering now, that I can become a better person on the journey. It is in obedience that I truly discover my worth.