37 and counting

37. Wow. I remember as a kid when my parents turned 37. I thought they were ANCIENT. Now here I am, quickly approaching 40. The day passed me by with very little fanfare. December is a busy month in the ministry, and Sunday is the busiest day of our week. Even though we missed out on our typical big family dinner and celebration because of our hectic schedule today, it was still a beautiful birthday.

I spent today doing on of my favorite things- helping to lead worship at The Crossroads. Every week I am amazed by how God is growing the musicians in the band. They just keep improving! I pulled out a couple of pretty tough selections last night at practice, with a plan B in the back of my head just in case. But instead, they nailed both new songs! But the coolest part of today wasn't how well the band did, but how involved the congregation was. There was this one moment during worship where I could hear all this beautiful singing, but it wasn't coming from my monitor. That's when I realized that I could hear the congregation loud and clear over the vocalists in my speaker on stage. I can still remember a time early in our church plant when our congregation was very uncomfortable with singing, and it is cool to see that they have come to embrace worship.

This afternoon we went to our teen girls' band concert. The beginning band did very well, especially considering most of them had never played an instrument until just a few months ago. I admit that the squeaks and honks that naturally happen in beginning band concerts kind of crack me up. The symphonic band was truly very good. I was impressed by how far they have come since the last time I heard them play.

Then this evening was spent at one last meeting for Operation Care. My team tried to make sure that we have everything ready for the big day and to see what still needs to be done. God has certainly blessed us with the right contacts. I am amazed to look at all the full slots for the outdoor stage which were empty slots two weeks ago.

Shawn and I finished out the night with dinner at Carraba's. I enjoyed the good Italian food, and ate way too much. I am excited to have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

So there it is - my 37th birthday, low key, but pretty awesome.

Operation Care International

A little over a year ago, I was sitting through yet another professional development seminar when unexpectedly a slide with contact information for Susie Jennings, the founder of Operation Care International, appeared on the screen. The presenter profusely apologized, explaining that this was a slide from a presentation he had done recently at his church, and he was uncertain how it had ended up in his slide show. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “Write that down.” Fortunately I was listening and wrote down Susie’s information. When I checked out Operation Care’s website, I saw an opportunity to minister at The Bridge, a homeless shelter, around Thanksgiving of 2010. While my friends and I enjoyed this opportunity, I had my energies focused elsewhere and moved on with other areas of life and ministry.

With Operation Care a distant memory, I was preparing a worship set for our church service on October 30. As usual, I asked my husband on what topic he would be preaching. He said that actually he wasn’t speaking, but that Susie Jennings would be joining us. I was excited about this, believing that many of our people would be blessed by her testimony and might be able to help with the Christmas event. However, I did not plan to be deeply involved due to a myriad of commitments in my life at this time.

Sometimes God’s plans are not our plans. During the invitation, I prayed a dangerous prayer, “God you know my heart to be more deeply involved in worship ministry, and to be a part of what you are doing with worship around the world, but I do not have any open doors to explore this calling. So whatever you have in store for me next, in advance my answer is yes. I want to serve you in any way that you can use me for your kingdom and your glory.” This was about 12:25. At 12:45, out of the blue, Susie asked me to be a part of planning for the Operation Care Christmas event. So I said yes, and the adventure has begun.

I am excited to see where the journey leads. I still do not know what God has in store for my life, and how he plans to fulfill my calling into worship ministry, or even if this adventure is a part of that, but none of these things are even really very important. After all, it’s not about me! What is important is being used today, right here and now, for God’s kingdom. What is important is making a difference in the lives of the people that I am with each day. This may be in my classroom as a teacher, in our church as a pastor’s wife, in my home as a wife and mother, or in the weeks to come as I minister to the homeless with Operation Care. The important thing is to point to Jesus with every breath, because He alone is worthy.

Ordinary is Okay

As a child in America, we repeatedly hear that we are capable of big things. "You can be the President or an astronaut!" Then as adults, most of us end up living very ordinary lives, working very ordinary jobs. We struggle with a feeling of discontent, because somehow we didn't measure up to the dreams we had for our lives. We keep waiting for the tides to turn and our lives to become extraordinary and for our dreams to come true. We wait for our marriage to magically be like the ones we see on TV, and for our kids to be perfect. We wonder why our house isn't big enough, and our cars rattle and have peeling paint.

Don't get me wrong here, I am not saying that it is wrong to dream. I am simply saying that I have recently been considering that perhaps we have mistaken what is really extraordinary. Somehow we have this idea that it involves the right job and the right house and the right stuff. Maybe it is really found right in the middle of an ordinary life. Maybe the secret to extraordinary is not in pursuing a bigger paycheck, but in pursuing deeper relationships.

Lately I have been watching the people in my life a little closer. I've been thinking about the people that I greatly admire. Most of these people that I would describe as great people are actually very ordinary. They work a nondescript job that pays the bills more months than not. They have families with drama and issues. They slip and fall down along the way, and their names will probably never grace the pages of a history book.

It makes me think that maybe I should focus a little harder on being content with my life and rather than waiting for the "big moment" in life, I should focus on looking for ways to love the people I am with right now. It is time to stop waiting for what's next and time to start living the right now.

Coming Home

Three years. Three long years of a house on the market. Three years of riding my kids and family to maintain perfection. Three years of commuting to work, staying in my classroom for long, late hours while we waited on the teens to finish their sports and other extracurricular activities. After 3 long years, the house finally sold. We moved two big Uhauls of junk, plus many assorted vans, trucks, and suburbans loaded to the brim. I am sure that has to be sin that I have so much junk!

God blessed us with an amazing home in Anna. Paying more than we had anticipated, when we went to finance the larger amount of money, the interest rates were at a historic low - so the payment is less each month. The floor plan is perfect for our family. The kitchen has many of the features Shawn wanted, the girls have walk-in closets, James gets a bedroom with a door AND a closet, and I get not one - but two - window seats.

While I expected to experience a relief of stress and a sense of rest when we moved, I was surprised by the overwhelming sense of coming home. I knew it would be a relief to be able to leave a pile of clean laundry on the couch, or a single dirty cup in the sink if the dishwasher happened to be full. But I did not fully realize the extent to which we have moved our lives to Anna in the last three years, so much so that finally living here provides a sense of belonging that I can only explain as "coming home". My children are already hanging out with friends, we are entertaining in our home, and enjoying shopping at the local grocery store.

I am looking forward to what feels like a new era in our ministry at The Crossroads. A great moment where God can use our home to further the ministry of The Crossroads. A moment in time where we can live among our people and see God at work in our city. Change is in the wind. I see big things ahead for The Crossroads. Get ready for the ride!

Anna here we come!

3 years ago, we began trying to sell our home in Sherman, Texas in order to move to Anna where we were going to plant a church. This week, we finally had an offer on our home. I am a nervous wreck about the 14 day option period where the buyers get an inspection and have the chance to back out. The great news is that they plan to pay cash in full, so we don't have to worry about their financing falling through. In faith, we have started packing in preparation to move to Anna.

Today Shawn and I picked out a house we liked in the Westfield neighborhood. It was ideal for our family, even to one of the kid's bedrooms having a very large closet for my little girls who share a room. We looked at several homes, but this was really the only one close to our price range that had the space we need to host journey groups and generally use our home for ministry. We submitted an offer today and are waiting to hear back from the seller. Our financing has been approved and so now we simply wait.

I cannot begin to say how excited I am about being close to work. I can't even fathom going home between work and James's football games. Feeding my kids supper in our own kitchen instead of sandwiches in my classroom on game night will be great! Having the opportunity to host a journey group in our home makes me giddy excited. Shawn and I are already discussing doing an intensive care marriage group in the fall. We are trying to decide whether to call it Firey Friday Nights or Smokin hot Saturdays. I love the idea of being able to finally have friends over for dinner, and being able to open my home up to my kids' friends! I am also anxious to be able to invite the other area ministers and wives into my home for coffee and prayer for our city.

But whether this all goes through this time or not, I have been greatly blessed in the last 24 hours just by the response from our people. Typically in a church, the honeymoon period lasts 18 months -2 years. After that, the congregation may still love you, but the excitement has dimmed. Instead, our people are more excited now than they were three years ago. Their overwhelming desire to have us in their neighborhoods has touched my heart. I am blessed that God placed us into a situation where we are greatly loved. While I am nervous and apprehensive about the sale of our home, and buying another, I am grateful today that we are blessed to serve in an awesome community with amazing people!

The Great Battle

Fear

blanket of darkness

engulfing

swallowing

smothering.

Hope

glimmering light

lifting

embracing

strengthening.

Fear

Loudly in my head

questioning

doubting

disbelieving.

Hope

Quietly whispering

believing

trusting

waiting.

An Unsold House

Our house has been on the market for nearly three years. We have remodeled and dropped the price repeatedly. My kids have had their stuff in boxes in the attic for so long we no longer remember what we even own. In spite of our best efforts, we are still in this same house. We have cycled through many seasons of discouragement and disappointment. Recently I have remembered 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

Thankful, in all things. Well, hmmm....that's not always my strong point. Why could I be thankful that my house hasn't sold and we continue to live in Anna, but sleep in Sherman? Well, let's dig a little deeper -

1. 3 years of commuting helps me to understand clearly the issues our congregation of commuters is dealing with. The lack of time with the family, the strain on the marriage, the rush to get homework finished, the exhaustion that engulfs you. Living through this helps me to understand the pressure that our people are under and offer them understanding and love.

2. I have spent many hours trapped in the car with my children. These hours are usually spent laughing and talking. I would say that because of commuting my children are forced to spend a greater amount of time communicating with me, which has been critical in these early teen years.

3. Our people are learning to practice hospitality. This summer while we were displaced between Sunday morning and Sunday night services different families hosted us in their homes for lunch and let us hang out. Even now various families are making arrangements in their homes so that in the fall we can have a place to sleep after late night football games, or when we have a late counseling session, or if we need a place to hang out in the afternoon while the kids are at practices. As a result, we are getting to know and love these families on a whole new level. I am certain that God is going to pour out blessings on them. After all, hospitality is one of his primary gifts (I go to prepare a place for you....).

There are other positive things I can say about still living in our house - things like the band has a place to practice, we have room to entertain large crowds, we have room to have a long term guest, and a great place to go running.

I am desperate for my house to sell so that I can live locally in Anna. Commuting is tough, and I definitely dread it this fall. However, I want to focus on the good things that have come from this experience and be patient as I wait on God's timing for the sale.

Beautiful Worship

I am finally home after a week in Kansas City at the National Worship Leader Conference. At the last minute, we had an extra ticket that we couldn't get refunded that was going to be wasted, so my thirteen year old daughter agreed to attend with me. She primarily went out of concern for my safety. I have complex migraines, so she was worried that I might have problems while traveling alone.

Even though she attended out of concern, God simply poured out his blessing and presence in our lives last week. Some of you readers know the back story on Grace. This last fall she was struggling pretty hard with depression. Her mind was confused, her soul despaired, and she felt hopeless. When she reached the point that she felt life was unbearable, God showed her hope for her future.

The first night of worship at the concert, my daughter stood beside me in her well worn Mexico mission T-shirt while a bilingual group sang on stage. We worshiped through familiar songs in English, and then in Spanish. I watched her lift her hands in abandon as she sang along in English and broken Spanish. As I drank in the beautiful moment of worship, I was extremely grateful for second chances. I was glad that God had given my daughter hope, and that our week of worship began with a reminder of the country she loves. I guess I fully realized the greatness of God's work in her life this year. God took her confusion and replaced it with passion; he took her despair and replaced it with faith; and he took her hopelessness and replaced it with purpose.

As I looked back at what was probably one of the toughest years our family has faced, I see how God was faithful. He provided, he comforted, he healed, he redeemed, he forgave, he strengthened, he rescued, and he restored. I was reminded in that beautiful moment of worship of the stunning glory of our God, his character, and his love. He is good.

Don't Faint

Lately everywhere I turn, I see two verses. The first is Is. 40:31, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." The second is Galatians 6:9, "And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

As a church planter, I am clinging tightly to both of these promises. When we launched, I had heard from other planters and read in books that the second and third years of church planting were especially challenging. The church grows to a point that everyone may not be closely connected with every other person, many people may realize that their vision of what the church might become does not match what the church actually is, and still others become impatient on waiting for the church to fully bloom and leave for greener pastures. I knew these things in the back of my mind, but seeing them come to fruition has been painful.

This summer we have lost many families. Some have felt God leading them to be a part of other ministries, some have left for greener pastures, some have been blessed with jobs in other states, and some have simply become relaxed about attending. As a church planter, your congregation is like family. Losing members feels a little like getting divorced. Over and over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for those who are pursuing God's call in their lives and who are experiencing God in other places of worship and who have been blessed with fresh starts. It is only in the darkest moments of the night that I indulge the pain and sorrow of lost relationships for just a little while.

When I am tempted to be discouraged, I review these 2 verses again. There are many times in church planting that it feels like running. We are moving forward quickly, nothing is standing in our way, and it is exciting. In these moments I remember that God promises that I can run and not grow weary. He will provide the energy that is necessary for the ministry. Then there are times when it feels that moving forward is like walking in molasses. Everywhere that I turn I encounter strife and difficulty. In those moments I remember that God has promised that I will have the ability to keep walking, even when I feel like fainting. Then I remember that God has promised that if I will not faint, and will continue in doing the good to which he has called me, that I will see blessings.

In these months of transition, I am reviewing the awesome things that have occurred at The Crossroads in the last 3 years. I can't count how many lives and marriages have been made new as a result of the hope found through Christ at The Crossroads. We have seen over 30 people accept Christ as their savior and follow up with baptism. We have been a part of starting other church plants. We are watching an incredible youth group bloom. We are blessed to enjoy incredible worship. We have an awesome pastor that speaks truth every week. We are meeting in an air-conditioned, large, clean facility. One that was unavailable for religious organizations just 2 years ago!

When I remember back to the first time a small group of people met in my living room to begin praying for Anna, and for the friends we were going to make in Anna, I am awed by what God has done. I know from visiting with many in the congregation in the last week, that many are struggling with hopelessness and discouragement. It seems that many are overwhelmed with finances, marriage problems, job issues, addiction, parenting struggles, and general apathy. I don't know exactly what is going on, and why so many are experiencing what seems to be extraordinary discouragement, but I will say that we can not lose faith. Look back and see God's hand. He has been at work for the last 3 years at The Crossroads. He will continue to be at work in our future. Let's keep walking and not grow faint. Let's run and not grow weary. Let's keeping doing what is right in our relationships with each other, even when it's not easy. Let's believe in our future and live in obedience to God's call.

All Yours - A Confession

Disclaimer: I was awake in the middle of the night, exhausted from a long week at camp, but unable to sleep. I have been earnestly praying for The Crossroads, specifically our season of transition with our worship pastor leaving and several families being transferred out of state or moving to other cities. While I was mid prayer, God smacked me in the face with some sin. I prayed through the sin, accepted forgiveness and thought we were done. As I stared at the ceiling watching the shadows dance in the moonlight, God gently nudged me with a reminder that sometimes sin needs to be confessed publicly. So this is my garbled, late night rambling confession.

I don't remember a time that I was not in love with music. One of my earliest memories is as a tiny child standing on my toy box with my cowboy boots and a cowboy hat singing original compositions at the top of my voice. I daydreamed of growing up to be Dolly Parton or Loretta Lynn. My parents took me to every gospel music show in town, and my mom and I were steady customers at the local Saturday night country music show. When I was about 7, my parents recognized within me some musical talent and allowed me to take piano lessons. I fell completely and totally in love. I worked hard to be excellent, practicing several hours a day as a teen.

I loved to perform on stage. I was in countless recitals and competitions. Somewhere I probably still have an old box of trophies. Every trophy was a symbol of acceptance, feeding my teen appetite for approval. I often had the opportunity to play in church, even as a kid. I thrived on the attention I received after playing well. My soul thrilled when I played an impossibly complicated offertory piece and got applauded when I finished. I was completely and totally consumed with using music for my own glory.

When I accepted Christ at 18, I came empty handed. I realized I had done many good deeds to receive the praise of others. I had nothing at all that had not been done out of selfish motivation. When I looked at my life, I picked out my favorite thing and offered it as a sacrifice. I distinctly remember praying soon after I became a believer, "God, my fingers are yours. I commit to play anytime and anywhere that you will give me an opportunity to be used for your glory." Compared to the great music talents in the world, I gave God loaves and fishes. However, over the years I have done my best to be faithful to my word and God has blessed me in ways I never imagined. On that day that I prayed, I never would have predicted how much God would use my tiny gift to teach me about Himself. I did not know the intimate connection that would happen as I worshiped alone at the piano, or the amazingly beautiful privilege that it would be to have a small part in leading others into God's presence.

Tonight as I was praying, God smacked me in the face with the sin of idolatry. There I was, laying in bed innocently praying for our church that is in a time of transition. As I prayed for the needs of our church, my prayer shifted inward. I asked God to show me anything in my heart that might be keeping me from releasing completely in worship or that might be hindering others around me from worshiping. This is not an easy prayer for me, because I like approval - not necessarily truth.

God showed me that in recent months I have allowed the fact that I am a part of a cool band playing cool songs in a cool church plant to supersede the notion of how privileged I am to worship the God of the universe! I have unknowingly been consumed with how awesome our band is rather than being humbly surrendered to God's plan. This morning we played "Here I am to Worship." This song was a mile marker event in my musical history. Years and years ago, God used this song to miraculously teach me how to play contemporary worship music. Tonight as I was sharing the story with some good friends, I said something along the lines of, "Every time I play that song it is a reminder that everything that I am able to do musically is a straight up gift from God." As I was praying that sentence replayed over and over in my head. I was confronted with the harsh reality that I have been trying to play in my own strength.

So I simply asked for God's forgiveness that I had somehow unknowingly shifted the spotlight off of Him and onto me. I spent some time recommitting that what small talent I have is totally and completely God's. It is for his glory, and his alone. I want to find pleasure in using it to point to God, not to make people think that I am cool, or that my band is cool, or that The Crossroad is cool. Instead I want my music to simply make people notice how cool God is.

A Fond Farewell

Three years ago, God blessed The Crossroads Community Church with an amazing worship pastor. We waited, less than patiently, for God to answer our prayers for a man who would lead us with excellence and integrity. With only a few days left before our first preview service, God abundantly blessed us with Robby Thompson. Our family and our church has been blessed to serve alongside him and his amazing family through an unfathomable amount of beautiful moments. We witnessed the very first service together, the first communion, and the first baptism at The Crossroads. We saw the first small groups launch, families put back together, and a congregation learn the meaning of worship. We saw a miraculous opening of the school system so that we no longer had to meet in a hot cheer gym. We had doors open wide to participate in tons of community events, and even the opportunity to travel to Mexico on a mission trip.

I have attempted writing this blog for almost 6 weeks. I have found it utterly impossible to put into words what the last three years have been like. In the end, I only know to fall on my face before the God of glory who is able to meet needs like no other. This weekend we will baptize our 30th new believer since The Crossroads first opened its doors 3 years ago. At the same time, we will eat cake and say farewell to our beloved Worship Dude. We certainly wish him all the best in whatever it is that God has in store for him next. Although saddened to lose good friends, we are thrilled to see God still at work at The Crossroads. While we expect to miss Robby and his family, we are filled with anticipation to see what God is going to do next. He has more than sufficiently met the needs of our congregation for the last 3 years. I am looking forward to how we are going to be amazed next!

I've gathered a few photos for those of you who would like to take a moment to walk down memory lane. I would encourage you to not shed tears of sadness over losing great friends, but rather to rejoice in what God has done at The Crossroads through the Thompson family. We love you guys!

Turning a few cartwheels at the cheer gym in the heat. Loved the bouncy mats. In the winter the static electricity really gave you a charge!

Praying before service at

the cheer gym. I specifically remember this prayer. We were having severe sound issues. Man, did God show up that day!

Check out those arms! We were excited to watch Tammie pursue and obtain her dream of becoming a personal trainer. She is amazing at what she does. I know God will use her talent for his glory!

Every dad needs a little help from their son when they are putting together a gianormous pirate ship in the middle of the summer for children's ministry! Check out the ever awesome Reid!

Emery loved a good sno cone at a hot sum

mer block party! These events were steamy, but incredible outreaches into the community. We had bounce houses, door prizes, (gave away a wii once!), movies, and concerts!

Unfortunately, Robby only had the opportunity to attend one mission trip to Mexico. His secular job made it challenging for him to get enough time off to travel out of the country. But this trip was a blast! It was cool to see his heart for the underprivileged and poor.

We were thrilled to have the opportunity to do a Father Daughter Sweetheart Dance for Valentine's Day. Here's Robby lovin' on his gorgeous date!

Tammie and Robby at our Sweetheart dance. These guys are beautiful dancers, but their love for each other - in the easy and the tough times, is even more beautiful!

Our last big fun event together was a New Year's Eve murder mystery party. We enjoyed lots of

laughs, and even better food.

Chasing Lions is famous for our willingness to play in the blistering heat of summer at block parties, the wild fall and spring tornadic weather at community events, but most of all for our winter events. We love Jesus enough to even play music outdoors on the coldest day in recent Texas history.

Although the faces in the band have changed over the last three years, one thing remains constant. We are in love with Christ, anxious to see him glorified through our music.

Monday Morning Update 5.29.11

This week Shawn worked in children's ministry. I know, what senior pastor steps out of the pulpit to take a turn as an ordinary volunteer in kid's ministry? Shawn decided that since we have had a hard time filling slots, he would lead by example. Nothing says children's ministry is important more than the senior pastor taking the time to volunteer. It also gives the children the opportunity to get to know their pastor, to trust him enough to share their problems, and to be comfortable asking him about how to follow Jesus.

Since Shawn was volunteering in the children's area, I spoke to our congregation on the topic of international justice - specifically targeting the widespread problem of slave trading. Slave trafficking is currently the 2nd largest crime industry in the world, with an estimated worth of 32 BILLION dollars. There are at least 27 million people who are currently enslaved around the world.

I shared several scriptures that tell us that as believers we should seek justice for those who are oppressed. I thought I would post two of my favorites.

The first was Isaiah 1:17, "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows."

I love that first statements "learn to do good." There is so much I do not know about how to become involved in the battle against slave trafficking, but I can learn how to do good.

The second is Amos 5:23-24, "Away with your noisy hymns of praise! I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living."

I love that picture of becoming a part of a mighty flood of justice. Alone I am just a raindrop, but I can join with others under God's direction to become more. I had wanted to share this video yesterday, but wasn't able to get it to download to my computer. After watching this video about slave trafficking, you can look at the following websites for more information and ways to get involved: www.ijm.org or www.thea21campaign.org

18 ways to stay married 18 years

Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.

1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.

2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.

3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.

4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.

5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.

6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.

7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.

8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.

9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.

10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.

11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.

12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!

13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.

14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.

15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.

16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.

17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.

18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.

18 ways to stay married 18 years

Today marks 18 years of marriage to the amazing Shawn Kemp. Since I was only 18 when I married, this is my milestone anniversary of now being married for as long as I was single. Last night we went out to eat to celebrate. I asked Shawn what he thought the secret to our marriage might be. His immediate answer, "stubbornness." Then he tried to back-track to tell me that I am persistent. But there is great truth in his answer. There have been many times that the primary reason that I am married is because I have been to mule headed to give up. This made me start to think about how we have successfully maintained a healthy marriage, when many others have ended in failure. I decided that surely I could come up with 18 reasons why my marriage is successful. Here is my list - may you find something that speaks hope into your marriage.

1. God Alone. God's love and faithfulness far exceed my own. It is through his power and grace that I have been able to withstand tough times in our marriage. It is in realizing that it is God's job to complete me - not Shawn's - that helps our marriage to be healthy. For too many years, I expected Shawn to fulfill me. The emptiness that is within me is far too great for a human to fill. It was designed to be filled up by God and God alone. In learning to pursue my relationship with God, I have learned to set Shawn free to do the same.

2. Prayer. I can't even explain how many hours I have spent in prayer for my husband and our marriage. I pray with thanksgiving during the good times, and I pray with desperation during the dark times. It is through prayer that I am able to tap into God's power and find the perseverance to continue.

3. Stubbornness. I think Shawn is right - many times in our marriage, the fact that I am just plain mule headed kept me from leaving. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to settle for "just okay." I keep trying, and I keep expecting things to improve.

4. Respect and kindness. I treat Shawn with the respect that I feel human beings deserve as valuable creations. I do not blast him, nag him, or belittle him. When I am angry, I do my best to express my concern over the issue at hand without raising my voice or changing my tone. This is not easy, and it does not provide the immediate satisfaction that yelling might - however, when the issue has been calmly resolved, I am left with very few regrets about unfair things that I might have said during the heat of battle that could never be taken back. I would say that for the most part Shawn tries to treat me in the same way.

5. Remember better days. When times get tough, it helps me to review the past. There are many good memories that I can review to remind myself that this season will pass and the good will return. Having many years in our past helps us to wait out the storms that might be in the present.

6. Honor. Shawn consistently treats me with honor. He attempts to guard his eyes from looking at other women with lust. He wants to guard his heart and eyes so that I am the only person who captivates his heart. I do not have to be afraid that he will embarrass me in public by comparing me to other women and discussing my flaws. EVER. He is never rude about the weight that I have gained, the wrinkles that have found my eyes, or the gray hair I now color. He affirms my beauty and never makes me feel lacking in the presence of others.

7. Time. We try hard to date at least once a month. I will confess that this year we have been more lax in this habit, and to be honest, it has shown. This has been probably one of our toughest years ever of marriage - in large part due to busyness, lack of communication, and teen drama. Dating can be redefined so that it is inexpensive and doesn't always require a sitter - we often "date" in our kitchen late at night. We'll prepare a special dessert, a good cup of coffee, and dance in the candlelight.

8. Communication. We attempt to sit down at the kitchen table a couple of times a month to sync our calendars and make sure we are on the same page with our schedule. Again, this year we have been too busy and have let this slide and arguments have arisen over schedule conflicts and poor communication. We also try to communicate using "I" messages. For example, "I feel special when you..... or I feel neglected because......" I know, it seems cheesy at first, but it helps with the defensiveness that crops up in discussions.

9. Physical touch. I make it a point to sit next to my husband at events if possible. When we walk down the street, I still hold his hand. I want to communicate to him - especially in public - that he is still the man who captured my heart.

10. Great sex. There are many times in a marriage that magic in the bedroom will cover a lot of flaws. There have been times over the last 18 years that I have stayed because contemplating giving up the amazing magic we are fortunate to share made me realize that I could put up with a lot to avoid being single and having to practice celibacy.

11. Good friends. I need friends who can support me with godly advice and prayers. I need friends who can be trusted confidants. These are not easy to find as a pastor's wife. I must be cautious because while I may need a friend to pray with me about a problem in my marriage, I don't need a friend who will gossip and damage my husband's reputation and ministry.

12. Laughter. Learning to laugh at life and to just simply enjoy life together is a huge plus in a marriage. I love when we have the opportunity to laugh long and hard. Having fun together is a must!

13. Mind over matter. This is one of Shawn's favorite sayings. "If you don't mind, it don't matter." In other words, don't sweat the small stuff. We are both human. We both make mistakes. Lots of them. Forgive and move on. Don't get hung up on stuff that is really insignificant in the long run.

14. Our kids. Enjoying our kids together draws us together in our marriage. Attending their events, parenting together, and watching them experience life helps us have common interests. We are fortunate that we are generally on the same page with discipline and parenting philosophy.

15. Common interests. Finding things that we enjoy together strengthens our marriage. We recently built a deck, something we both enjoyed doing together. We cook together. Shawn cooks, and I sit on a stool and watch.

16. Don't take yourself too seriously. Being able to admit my faults and to realize that I am often wrong and to laugh at my mistakes helps our marriage stay healthy. For example, I am easily one of the clumsiest people I know. What's awesome is that Shawn thinks it's adorable when I drop my money in my coffee cup, spill the coffee on myself EVERY morning, trip down the stairs, or get my shirt stuck around my head and fall down trying to get dressed. Being able to laugh about this keeps me from having hurt feelings or feeling self conscious.

17. Work together. Shawn helps me with the housework. This is key to our marriage's success. We both work long hard hours at our jobs. The fact that I know he is going to handle the grocery shopping and the cooking is a huge relief for me. He is great at doing laundry, vacuuming, and his favorite - dusting. I know that if I am cleaning, he will be helping.

18. Forgiveness. There are times in marriage when big offenses are committed. This is because we are human. We can hold onto grudges, anger, and bitterness - or we can forgive. I choose forgiveness. Life is too short to be miserable with anger and filled with contempt and hatred. I can not begin to count the number of times that I have been completely stupid in the last 18 years - I needed forgiveness, not condemnation. I am fortunate to be married to a man who forgives and moves on. For my part, I genuinely struggle with memory loss, so I simply forgive and forget.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but simply 18 things that came to my mind as I sat in front of my computer screen. I am sure there are many other things that are equally as important that I simply didn't remember right this minute. But bottom line - I treat Shawn with respect, he treats me with adoring honor, and we passionately pursue God. I think these three things are really the keys to our success. Marriage is not easy. Disney fairy tales are not reality shows. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person - after all, God does not demand perfection before he loves us.

What's Up with The Kemps?

It's been a busy season in our lives. I have had many thoughts about writing over the past month, but it seems that exhaustion wins out over the words. I am certainly looking forward to summer break! While I have a bit of time tonight, I'm going to catch up to the present moment, so that my readers at least have an idea of what's up with the Kemps.

Work

I am thrilled to only have 10 more days of school left. This particular group of first graders has been a little unique. Typically I have a high percentage of children who seemingly were born reading. This year my students have had to work hard to get to the magic level 16 text that is required by the end of first grade. I am excited that almost all of my students have far exceeded these expectations. I have seen students move mountains this year in order to read.

I have experimented a great deal this year with new teaching strategies. It seems that children are struggling more with memory loss and attention issues than I have seen in the past. The kids rarely retain anything that is taught in a whole group setting, and little taught in small groups. They have needed more individualized instruction than ever before. I have brought in tons of hands on, kinesthetic approaches. We have sang, clapped, cheered, jumped, hopped, and written our own songs, stories, and poems to remember stuff. I leave work everyday completely spent. However, in the end, the hard work has paid off. Every one of my students now reads well enough to be successful in second grade. I am still hopeful that someday God will lead me into a different career, but in the meantime I am attempting to be faithful where I am. There is definitely something to be said for having a job in tough economic times. I am certainly grateful that I have a means of providing for my family.

Family

Abby turned 5 last week. It seems like such a short time ago I was laying on my couch praying for her safety through long months of bedrest. She had a fabulous birthday. Shawn's mom and my dad and stepmom came out for her party. I was surprised that she wanted to have an exclusively family party. I expected her to want to invite everyone she knew. I finally realized that by not inviting friends, she was guaranteed all the undivided attention of her family. I guess that's pretty awesome for a 5 year old.

Grace enjoyed her theatrical production of 'The Wizard of Oz." She played a variety of supporting roles: a poppy, munchkin, oz citizen, tree, monkey, and crow. Her main night she played the role of the coroner, with a short solo. She was excited to stay on key for the entire performance. The grandparents were also able to attend the play. It meant a great deal to have family at her event.

Katie is working on her solo for the talent show. She plans to sing Addison Road's song, "What do I know of Holy." I am looking forward to her performance on Friday. She is staying busy loving on Abby and playing hard.

James is patiently waiting on a neurology appointment at Children's. Well, patiently may not be the right word. James had some complications with a migraine headache last week, and the doctor pulled him from athletics until he is able to see a specialist. His coaches are more than ready for him to be back in the swing of things. We are currently reviewing his schedule for his freshman year of high school. How can my baby boy be headed to high school in the fall? It seems strange that he is nearly grown. His 8th grade graduation is next week!

Shawn is working like a dog trying to balance two jobs. I admire his commitment to our family so very much. He is determined to do what is best for the church plant financially, and so he will be returning to his position of teacher's aide again in the fall. I know that right now it is pretty tough to be at work ready to work with kids by 7:15 and then still be working hard at church stuff late into the night. But he maintains a positive attitude, grateful that God has blessed him with the ability to work with me, to be involved with the families in the community, and to be in a position to minister to the teachers.

So how about me? I am missing my workouts! Over spring break, I did some trail running in old shoes. I came home with what is probably plantar fasciitis. This means that I have not been able to run at all. One of the best ways to help those feet heal is to sleep with them in a completely flexed position. Since I am too cheap to go to the doctor, I have used my brilliant Arkansas ingenuity to rig up a way to tie my feet into the correct position at night. I will confess that last night Shawn just couldn't contains the laughter any more, finally busting out with, "That is just too ghetto." Not exercising has added 7 pounds back onto my behind. I will have to get serious soon about returning to the gym! I have been sick for a couple of weeks and as soon as my cold clears up, I'll be ready to hit it hard.

I did well in my second semester of college. This semester I took a class titled, "Spiritual Formation and Worship." I learned much about spiritual discipline, and how lacking my spiritual growth tends to be. I enjoyed getting to research the discipline of worship, learning more about what it means to offer up praise and how God inhabits the praises of his people. I learned about praise being sacrificial, and about how to be thankful in all things. It was an amazing journey. This summer I will be continuing to work on my degree, taking "Christian History and Heritage." The title of this class seems a bit daunting. Then I have one more theology class left to take in the fall before I dive full fledged into my worship media concentration. I get crazy with excitement whenever I think about getting to study something about which I am so passionate.

Ministry

Last week our church participated in an awesome ministry opportunity. We had the chance to completely furnish a transitional apartment for a single mom and her 3 kids. I loved getting to hand her the key and show her around her new home. It was amazing to see how everything came together. If you are interested in reading more about this incredible project, check out Shawn's blog: blazingthetrail.blogspot.com.

The other big news at The Crossroads is our relaunch of the youth program. Our youth minister had to step down last year due to work commitments, and God has not yet raised up a replacement. We waited and waited, until finally Shawn and I decided that we would lead the youth. I mean, what's little youth ministry thrown into the rest of our crazy life, right? A small church in town, Calvary Baptist, is renting us their facilities on Sunday night, which has been a super location for working with the youth. The first week we brought in a young band. That was tons of fun. The next week we played games and Shawn talked about guarding your words. Then last week we took the kids to see "Soul Surfer" and eat pizza. I am enjoying getting to know the teens. I am especially looking forward to youth camp this summer! It has been nearly 10 years since I last went to youth camp. How cool will it be to go with my own teens and see God at work? I can't wait.

I hope this fills in some gaps about where I've been, and what God has been doing. I appreciate your prayers as we chase after God and seek to learn to love him more every day.

LaRissa

A new friend for Abby

My youngest daughter, Abby, is a full blown sanguine personality. She loves people, thrives on crowds, and is devastated to spend time alone. Last night her big sister, Katie, was at a sleep over and the rest of the family was watching a grown-up movie. She cried and cried about watching Mulan alone without a friend.

When she woke up this morning, she was devastated to realize that James was sick, Katie was gone, and I had to take Grace to Anna for her trip to Six Flags. She was not happy to be facing a day of alone time.

I returned home today around 3, expecting to be greeted with cheers. Instead I found a stranger sitting in the playroom with Abby cheerfully playing wii. While playing in the yard this morning, Abby met a little neighbor girl and invited her home. Her parents said yes, and the little girl is still at our house nearly 8 hours later. Her dad has been by to check on her, and she's run home for a few minutes off and on, but most of the day she and Abby have been having a ball.

I think it is neat that today, God saw my little sanguine daughter's distress and brought her a new friend.

tornado warning

It's been a stormy spring in North Texas. We have been inundated with thunderstorms and tornado warnings. Fortunately, the worst of the weather missed us this year. After a lifetime of storm warnings, I find that I am no longer easily scared. Unless there has been a tornado spotted within a short distance of my home, I continue life as usual.

This week as the tornado sirens went off and I continued calmly baking pies (after checking the radar and seeing that we were not in immediate danger), I wished that my faith in times of spiritual storms was that calm. When storms hit in life, I struggle so much with doubt and discouragement. I look forward to a day when my faith grows to the point that I am able to calmly and peacefully continue life no matter what kind of difficulties rage around me.

Don't Burn the Meringue

I have a long standing history of cooking disasters. Since the onset of severe migraines a few years ago, I have lost my ability to multi task. When cooking, this tends to lead to minor mishaps. A while back, I was baking a coconut cream pie for Shawn. This is his favorite pie, and can be used as a bribe to get me out of trouble and back into his good standing if necessary.

After I put the pie into the oven to brown the meringue, I heard a nifty little tune playing in my mind. I sat down at the piano and all was lost. After several minutes I smelled delicious roasting marshmallows. I wondered which neighbors were having a cookout and thought about how much fun that would be with our kids. As the smell of roasting marshmallows grew stronger, I finally remembered my pies and ran to the oven. It would seem that meringue is quite flammable.

Since this was not an isolated instance, this Easter, I was determined to not catch my pies on fire. While the meringue was browning, I sat on a stool with my face pressed against the glass window. As soon as the meringue began to brown, I cracked the oven door to watch more closely. As I sat with my face stinging from the heat of the oven, I thought of a parallel between burning meringue and sin.

Proverbs 4:23 says, 

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." As I thought about how carefully I was guarding against burning the meringue I thought about the need to guard my heart. I frequently find myself deep in sin without realizing that I have even stumbled off the right path. It's kind of like when I get distracted while cooking and next thing I know I have a small fire on top of my pie. I realized as I sat watching my pie that I need to work harder at being alert to temptation and seek to avoid that first step down the wrong path. Being vigilant is important in growing spiritually.
Proverbs 4:27 says, "Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil." I have great intentions about loving God more and seeking after him, but next thing I know I'm sidetracked again by my busy life. And when I lose my focus on God, then next thing I know I end up thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that are not glorifying to God.

So the moral from this? Don't Burn the Meringue! Stay focused on who is important and be vigilant in guarding your heart against evil.

Monday Morning Update 4/24/2011

Well, it's been a long while since I've posted a Monday Morning Update. Life as a teacher, mom, church planter, and student is keeping me too busy to write blog updates on a regular basis. Hopefully life will slow down soon, and I will be able to write more often.

Yesterday we had the opportunity to help host a community Easter egg hunt at The Collin County Adventure Camp. Hundreds of people attended this amazing event. In between hiding eggs for the different age division hunts, the family and I had a few minutes to canoe out on the lake. Grace and I enjoyed racing around the lake together. I confess that she seemed to want to mostly race around the part of the lake where all the teenage boys were. It was super to see many of my students and friends from the community.

This morning was a glorious Easter Sunday at The Crossroads. My favorite part of Easter is the hum of expectancy that envelopes the room as people arrive. Everyone expects to encounter God's holy presence on Easter and they come ready to worship. I would like to discover a way to help our congregation have that same level of expectancy and recognition of God's holiness throughout the rest of the year.

The worship set was a little longer than usual today. I think the extra time was well worthwhile. That, coupled with the usage of visual media, seemed to help the congregation be more engaged than usual in worship today. Shawn's sermon on the story of Easter was amazing. I love that he has to tell the whole story of the death, burial, and resurrection in great detail because some people in attendance haven't ever heard the complete story. It is amazing to know that God is using us at times to be the first ones to share the story of the Savior.

After services we ate lunch with friends in Anna. With family out of state, they traditionally open their homes to others who are without local ties. While I am grateful to serve God in Texas and love our life here, on the holidays I do miss our family back home. I greatly appreciated the hospitality and good food.

For those of my readers who regularly pray for our ministry, here are our current prayer needs:

1. We are relaunching our youth ministry next Sunday evening. Please pray that God will move in mighty ways among the teens in our church and in Anna. Pray that God will raise up leaders from within our church who will be willing to help with this critically important ministry.

2. Pray for strength for our family. 3 years and counting with the house on the market has left us completely exhausted. We have been struggling with a very tough season of doubt and discouragement. We have questioned God greatly on why we are still in Sherman when we need to live among our people in Anna. Pray that our house will sell quickly and that we will be able to live life again as a normal family, without the need to maintain a continually spotless house. My children are ready to have hobbies besides cleaning house from top to bottom every night. They are tired, frustrated, and discouraged.

3. Pray for our city. Pray that God will unite the churches in Anna to work together to reach the city with the gospel. Pray that God will pour out his spirit and draw people to himself. We are hungry, desperate for his presence. Pray that he will make himself known in our city.

We deeply appreciate your prayers. We are well aware that without the prayers of others, we would be unable to do the ministry to which God has called us.

Happy birthday Katie

My middle daughter, Katie, turned 11 this week. We celebrated with a brief birthday dinner on Wednesday night at Genghis Grill in McKinney. The real fun, however, took place last night. For many years, I planned elaborate parties for my children at which they were generally miserable. I finally figured out a few years ago that going low key and opening up our home is what makes the kids happier.

Katie invited several friends to spend the night, but only two were able to come. Her three things that she desperately wanted to do at her party were: have a water gun fight, bob for apples, and glamorize teddy bears. So that's exactly what we did. As the night progressed I tried hard to freeze frame the moments in my memories. There were many magical moments to process and having a bad memory means that I have to work hard to store information for later.

Early in the afternoon, I stood on our deck and watched the girls spring into the air on the trampoline, squealing as they squirted one another with the water guns. Apparently for preteen girls squealing is their trademark sound. Then the bobbing for apples made me laugh till I cried. The girls finally started sticking their entire bodies into the tub of water to chase down the apples. As they raised up dripping like drowned rats with apples hanging from their teeth, I couldn't stop giggling.

Glamorizing the teddy bears was a much larger project than I anticipated. I spent most of the evening cutting open bears and sewing on tummy patches, paw patches, and large flowers. Imaginations bloomed as they picked out jewels and fabrics. We giggled lots trying to decorate the bears to the girls' satisfaction.

After darkness fell, Shawn built a small fire down by the creek to roast smores. We used the super-sized marshmallows for the smores. The girls couldn't even get the smores into their mouths. The magic of the evening was complete as we laid on the trampoline with sticky faces and fingers watching the trees blow in the wind and the stars twinkle in the distance.

Katie is a beautiful gift to our family. God blessed her with a kind heart and a gentle, loving spirit. It was an amazing treat to get to be a part of her party and hang out with her friends. What a magical night!

Starfield in Concert

I had a great time last night at Dallas Baptist University at the Starfield concert. Having the opportunity to worship with my daughter Grace was a beautiful thing. I enjoyed spending the evening hanging out with her - eating at Chick-Fil-A, doing homework together at the college library, then waiting in line and enjoying the concert. Her heart for worship is amazing. The fun part is that as a drummer, when she gets totally lost in worship she moves from lifted hands to drumming on the seats and stomping on the floor to create funky beats. A more thorough review of the concert itself can be found on my worship blog: larissasworshipthoughts.blogspot.com

Recess

Everyday at 10:30 revival happens in first grade. I announce to my small students to put away their things, grab their jackets and line up. Bored, glazed over little eyes pop open, as they jump from their chairs and sprint to the door. I force them to walk in a calm, straight line all the way down the side of the building until we reach the end of the sidewalk. The instant their tiny feet hit the grass, they are allowed to run. When their feet touch the turf, screams of joy and delight erupt. They run at full speed across the field to the playground equipment. Their plots thicken the air as they debate what games they will play.

When I watch them run, I am reminded of a couple of verses of scripture. The first is Philippians 4:4, "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice!" These kids understand joy. They erupt with pleasure when they are set free every morning. I have been set free from sin and the grave, I need to be showing more joy in my life! Seeing the joy these kids experience makes me hungry to cultivate that character trait a little more in my life. I have a lot of quiet joy, but I could stand more exuberant excitement about the privilege of following Christ.

The other verse is Philippians 3:14, "I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God's heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus." My students are goal oriented, whether they are trying to get to the monkey bars, the swings, or the tether balls. They run at absolute top speeds, trying to break the speed of light on their way to acquiring their desired location. Lately I have been watching their determined burst of speed and wondering what my life might look like if I ran after God with that same intensity and passion.

Just a couple of thoughts from the playground: Live joyfully, run harder.

Be a Tool

In a recent sermon, Shawn spoke from Romans 6:12, "Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God." He pointed out that an instrument is actually just a tool.

My brain ran away from the sermon on its own little tangent for awhile. BE A TOOL. I have a toolbox. It has many things in it: a hammer, tape measure, screwdriver, pliers, etc. What if my tools tried to tell me how to do my remodeling projects? What if my screwdriver was convinced it could drive nails, and my hammer tried to measure the width of the window for curtains. Can you imagine the chaos? Yet, that is what I do to God. I try to tell him the best way to use my life rather than simply living surrendered to his will. Just like my hammer is best used to drive nails, my life is best used in the hands of the Master.

Even though I may use some tools more often than others, they are all valuable. I may not often need a pipe wrench, but when the moment comes, a pair of pliers simply will not do the job as well. I thought about this application. We as believers want to compare ourselves to others and see what God is doing in others' lives and whine about how He's not doing as much in our own lives. Instead we need to recognize that we all have infinite value to God.

I used to have an old hammer whose head occasionally flew off. While duct tape improved its longevity, it finally had to be trashed. I thought about this old hammer, and realized that sometimes when God wants to use me I am not ready. I may duct tape my life together enough to get by, but it is not a substitute for real spirituality. I realized that in our lives, we have to maintain our spiritual fitness so that we are always ready whenever God needs us.

I guess my goal for today is to work on being a well oiled, useful tool that God can use in any way he desires to further his kingdom purposes.

If I said you had a beautiful body.....

If I said you had a beautiful body......some of you would sing the next line in the song, "would you hold it against me," but the majority of my women readers would snicker and laugh at the thought that their body could ever be beautiful.

Body image. It's the greatest of all struggles for most, if not all, American women. We are inundated by images of airbrushed, anorexic models with impossible plastic surgery enhancements. They assault our senses from the magazine stands in the checkout line, billboards on the highway, and the television shows on every network. Women, often under pressure from the men in their lives, believe that their value is found in looking like these models. This has led to a deadly epidemic of eating disorders and other dysfunctional behavior.

Recently browsing in the dollar bins at a local bookstore, I picked up a book filled with beautiful women - not the swimsuit model variety, but ordinary, everyday women. The book was a collection of these women's poignant stories of their journey to find peace in their own imperfect skin. Each woman was tastefully photographed in black and white alongside her story. The women were a cross section of America - old, middle aged, young, skinny, fat, wrinkled, even a breast cancer survivor. As I read the stories, I was awed by the sheer beauty encapsulated in those pages. I saw that real beauty is not the computer enhanced, plastic surgery repaired women on the front covers of magazines. Real beauty is found in a grandmother's winkled, gnarled hands - proof of a long life, lived well. Real beauty is found in the young mom's huge scar from her emergency C-section - a proud war wound in the battle to deliver a first child. Real beauty is large and small, light and dark. Real beauty is seeing yourself and the women around you as a unique and special part of God's creation.

On my way out, I walked past the latest Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and shook my head. The woman on the cover did not compare in beauty to the stories I had just read and the pictures I had just seen. Fake and airbrushed, she did not hold a candle to the real beauty I had witnessed. I was saddened that our society has been satisfied with so little for so long. We have bought into the terrible lie that beauty is a tan, skinny Barbie like figure.

I would encourage my readers to notice and appreciate the beautiful women in your life today. Compliment them, encourage them, and love them. Begin with the beautiful woman in your mirror.

Monday Morning Update 2.13.11

It was my week to lead worship in Kids' Cove, so I practiced the music late into the night Saturday. Sunday dawned bright and warm, gorgeous weather after the arctic blast last week. I was experiencing the early signs of a migraine - confusion, disorientation, and memory loss, but I was confident that God would still make himself known in spite of my weakness this morning. Unfortunately I lazily neglected to download and study for the Bible story, planning to wing it since the lesson is all video based.

During set up we had several minor technological difficulties. Small things like the sound and video were completely nonfunctional. However, we ironed out the bugs, EQ'd the mic, checked the video feed, and prepped for services. I started services with a couple of fast songs, trying to energize a sleepy group of children. Our family sweetheart dance was Saturday night, and the children all seemed a little tired. I finally got everyone up and moving by the end of the second song.

We watched the video lesson, a western themed story, set in the town of "Whopperville." About 5 minutes in, the sheriff was interviewing candidates for a trustworthy deputy when we lost video feed. I stalled while the other workers looked for a way to fix the video. We sang a couple of songs, I babbled aimlessly about pleasing God with honest actions and honest words. We managed to restore audio, so we continued with the lesson so that I could see what the Bible story might be. I thought that when we came to the Bible story, I would be able to wing it old-school from that point.

Keep in mind that I was not adequately prepared, or I could have alleviated this problem all together. When we came to the Bible story, I was dismayed to learn that I would have to discuss King Joash and his honest dealings. Really - not Noah, Moses, Abraham, or any of the characters that I might be familiar with? But Joash. I couldn't remember who he was or what he did. I heard enough of the audio feed to piece together a story, but I won't guarantee that it was entirely factual.

We still had a good time. The kids were very patient with my crash and burn lesson. In the meantime I learned some valuable lessons:
1. Be overprepared. Know what the Bible story is - bring a Bible - and have a backup plan in case you have a major technical difficulty. It happens far too often with computers.
2. Laugh at yourself. Not taking the situation too seriously helped us make it through the morning without sacrificing anyone's attitude.
3. Love the kids. It's more important to relate to the children and teach them a simple truth about God than to get all the details perfect.
4. See #1 again.

I don't know anything about the adult service. Shawn and I haven't had the opportunity to even touch base this afternoon. I am assuming all went well, or I would have heard the news by now.

As you pray for The Crossroads, pray that God would raise up more children's workers. We've had at least 7 workers quit since the first of the year, leaving us absolutely short handed in ministering to the kids. I know that most churches struggle with the same issue, and I'm thankful that we have several committed workers. Honestly, for a church plant we are fortunate to have a great kid's program. However, we are in desperate need of about 3 or 4 more workers in order for things to flow smoothly and keep most of us rotating through only once a month to avoid burnout. I am confident that God sees the need and is working in the hearts of our people so that the need will be met. I am excited to see how God provides in this situation, knowing that he has great blessings in store.

Wet Wood

There's nothing as comforting as a roaring fire in the fireplace on a cold snowy day. The crackling heat warms the house and creates a relaxing ambiance. Over the last couple of weeks as I have spent many hours sitting by the fire, I've noticed some important things. Creating the perfect fire requires the right kindling, a lighter or match, and seasoned dry wood. It is next to impossible to start a fire with damp firewood.

However, with the ice and snow, much of our wood is dripping wet. Figuring out how to make the most of our dry wood requires expertise and experience. Once a fire is roaring hot, it is then possible to burn wet wood. The wet wood must be added gradually so that the fire does not go out. The majority of the fire must contain dry wood in order to maintain the appropriate level of heat for the home.

As I was using a blow dryer to melt some snow on a stick of wood so that I could start a fire last week, I realized that building a fire with wet wood is similar in many ways to ministry. I see many ministers walk into dying churches and attempt either to abruptly change everything in sight or to surrender God's will to the will of a negative minority, hoping to pacify critics. I realized that is a little like trying to start a fire with wet wood.

Ministers who successfully grow a declining church use their experience, expertise, and God's power to ignite excitement and change. They build on the fire of success to create excitement and passion in an ever expanding circle of people. Drawing in critics is like burning wet wood. It works best when it occurs in small numbers. Negative people become less negative as they are isolated from others who agree with their negativity. As critics see others burn with passion for Christ, they tend to eventually come along as well. It is important to surround apathetic believers with those who are burning brightly for Christ. Encouragement from others is a power that should not be underestimated.

I'm sure there are many other parallels that could be established here, but the wet wood made me think of the many ministers that become discouraged because they cannot ignite a passionate fire in the hearts of apathetic believers (wet wood). I would encourage those ministers to expend their energy working with those who are ready to follow Christ with passion, and create opportunities for those who are apathetic to encounter the fire of those who are burning brightly.

Bottom line: Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Even wet wood can catch on fire.

Monday Morning Update 2.8.10

Another week gone, as life continues to speed by. Although I will say that this past week life came to an abrupt halt. Texas, the land of eternal summer, seems to be going through an identity crisis. One minute it was a balmy 70+, the next the temperature plummeted into the teens. We received enough sleet and snow last Monday night to cancel school for three days. Then on Friday, the skies dumped another 6 inches, closing every school in the area.

The snow was beautiful. My kids enjoyed grabbing my pizza pan, spraying the bottom with nonstick cooking spray, and taking off down the back slope. James hit a couple of trees, but swears he walked away injury free. Katie and Abby delighted in making their own snow cones - except we didn't have any flavored syrup, so it was just plain snow.

I used the time off to do laundry, clean house, write my first paper of the semester, finish one of the textbooks, and begin my second paper. It sounds much more productive than it really was. In real life it looked like I spent at least three of the four days glued to my iphone trying to beat the game, "Angry Birds." In hindsight, I wish that I had used the time off more wisely to write and save several blog posts, or maybe an article or two, or practice playing my guitar. However, I enjoyed the time of just chilling out and relaxing with the family.

Sunday the weather cleared up enough for us to hold services as usual at The Crossroads. I saw lots of thankful faces in the audience. Everyone was glad to return to civilization after being trapped for many days at home. We had a super morning, followed by a fun evening watching the Super Bowl with friends.

Believe it or not, the weatherman predicts more snow tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday Morning Update 1.30.11

It's been a beautiful week in Texas. The weather has definitely felt more like April than January. I have enjoyed being able to run several days this week in the great outdoors before the weather changes next week. While I run, I spend time in prayer and worship. For a little while I have no stress or worries, or if I do, I can spend time talking to God about them without any interruptions or distractions. His ideas about my life are always much better than mine. Having the time alone with God this week made me much more ready to encounter Him in worship this morning.

Sometimes the way that God chooses to move in my life is quite strange. Today Shawn was preaching the gospel message of salvation. I knew this, and while I enjoy hearing the story of Christ dying for my sins, it is certainly not a message I expected to bring change in my life, as I am already a believer. I was certainly in prayer for God to move in the hearts of those who were not believers, but did not expect a life changing moment for myself. The worship set was fairly straight forward - focused on God, the cross, and praising Him for salvation. While a great set, again, I did not expect to be personally greatly affected.

Then as Shawn prayed over our people at the beginning of the services, I began to weep. I cried all through the worship set, struggling to read the music well enough to play along, and continued through much of the sermon. I was overwhelmed by the absolute tangible presence of God's love today. It was as if God had scooped me up in his lap and was holding me like I hold my children when they are hurting. His love was just that present and powerful this morning in my life.

Like many woman, I spend a lot of time seeking to be good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough, and to work hard enough, in order to earn people's love. Like everyone else, I often feel that I fall short of the expectations of others and don't quite measure up. I know that my value is found in Christ and that he sets me free from having to conform to others' expectations, but the desire to be pleasing is hard to overcome. This week I have felt very inadequate and overwhelmed, primarily due to challenges at work. I discovered this week that a third of our population is significantly below grade level, and that I will be redoing my schedule to be able to service about 20 additional children in reading groups to try to get them caught up. This will be tough - probably more challenging than anything I've had to do as a teacher.

Today, God said the most beautiful thing ever. As Shawn prayed, I was surprised by God's voice saying to my heart, "I love you. I believe in you." Over and over throughout the service today, God continued to affirm that statement, "I believe in you. You are enough." It was amazing. I was awed all over again that the God of the universe loves me. Personally. Intimately. It was amazing to hear someone say "I believe in you." Everybody needs a cheerleader in their life, rooting for them to find victory over sin, but more than that to be victorious in life - to dream big dreams and chase them down - it was beautiful that God stepped into that void in my life today.

Tonight we got to baptize five more new believers in a friend's hot tub. I love seeing God at work in people's lives at The Crossroads. It is an amazing experience to be a part of what God is doing in Anna, Texas. I am privileged indeed.

Monday Morning Update 1/23/11

This morning was more chaotic than usual at our house. Multiple members of our set up team called in sick, so we had to hustle to get ready and get to church. My oldest daughter, Grace was under the weather as well. Unfortunately part of being the preacher's kid is having to attend church sick or not. She sat down in my classroom watching a movie until services were over.

I was excited to get to share with our congregation that our Adopt an Apartment project is underway. We have adopted a two bedroom apartment for a father and his two year old daughter. The family is currently residing at The Samaritan Inn, the only homeless shelter in Collin County. Their next stop will be at the Gateway Apartments, a bridge between the shelter and self sufficient, independent life. I am excited for our people to have the opportunity to bless this family. I think this will be a beautiful journey for us all.

Shawn preached about the Holy Spirit today. It is impossible for us to live holy, blameless lives in and of ourselves. I heard it explained once that it's like trying to iron a pile of clothes with a cold iron. If you want to be effective, you've got to plug in the iron. If we want to be effective, we have to be constantly in tune with our power source.

Praying that you will each seek God this week, and attempt to listen to his voice.