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Thursday, October 23, 2008

just a tear in the driving rain

I've been listening to the Tenth Avenue North CD today. I've never quite experienced anything like this. It is as if this band crawled into my mind and my soul and wrote lyrics for my thoughts and my emotions. I think that if I could afford it, I would consider flying to see them in concert and worship with them.

Tonight God asked me for something really hard. Here's the lyrics that played while God talked in my head about surrender and obedience and a new path.

"Break Me Down"

"I feel you falling
Like rain against my skin
I hear you calling
Your voice like thunder in my head.

But now I'm stalling
'Cause I'm afraid to let you in
Come break me down with Your mercy
Come break me down again.
I'm Yours tonight."

Then there's "Hold my Heart"

"One tear in the driving rain
One voice in a sea of pain
could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart
One life, that's all I am
Right Now I can barely stand
if you're everything you say you are
would you come close and hold my heart."

Before you freak out, what God asked me for is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things - in fact, I'm a little embarassed to admit to being horribly upset about what He had to say. It's not life-altering, or dangerous, or destructive. It is just not what I wanted and planned. And tonight I'm crying hard because I am selfish. But it's not about me and my feelings. I said yes to God, and will wait for my emotions to surrender as well.

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